Pet Diaries

Pet Diaries

A dog's diary:

7 am - Oh boy!A walk! My favorite!

8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!

9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!

Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!

2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!

3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!

4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!

6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!

7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!

8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!

9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!

11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!



A cat's diary:

Day 183 of my captivity. My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am
forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope
of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my
captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost
succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to
disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself
to vomit on their favorite chair - must try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to
make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in
their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little
cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of
gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the
event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More
important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of
inducing "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my
advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.The
dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
obviously a half-wit.The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an
informant and speaks with them regularly.I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is
assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time.

Re: Pet Diaries

Re: Pet Diaries

cute

Re: Pet Diaries

Re: Pet Diaries

I don't have a pet, but I thought that was very funny!!!

Re: Pet Diaries

the part about the dog being a half-wit killed me!!!