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Pet peeve as a parent... somewhat of a rant...
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Pet peeve as a parent... somewhat of a rant...
I'm sure women have posted about this...
I'm an educated person. I'm even what may be considered an older mom (I'm 33.) I'm no dummy. I work with kids for a living.
I just don't understand why people would ever treat me like I don't have common sense.
I'm such a thorough type of person - I make sure I do everything for Cailen 150%. Yes, I know strangers on the street may not know what my parenting is like, but still.
I was putting Cailen in the baby Bjorn yesterday at a carnival from his stroller. I know his body and his weight at this point that I could do this whole thing in my sleep.
I see a woman cringe watching me and then come running over asking if I need help. I know she thought I was going to drop him...
Also, with general health stuff. Do people think I am not going to be aware of health concerns with my baby? I know I seem laid back, but do people think you have to be a neurotic, ranting raving mother in order to be a good mother? This is from family members who never see Cailen more than 1 time a month, to practical strangers who never see us at all...
Things happen whether you get hysterical or not. I opt not to be hysterical so I can be more level headed about things. why do people feel the need to assume my parenting skills are lacking because I'm not a nervous wreck? 
Message edited 8/5/2007 11:04:02 AM.
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Posted 8/5/07 11:03 AM  |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Pet peeve as a parent... somewhat of a rant...
I could have written this myself! I am also not one to get hysterical over every little thing, but I have family members CALLING ME to tell me that I should "be more ontop of" of certain issues. For example, Ava was breech at birth, her legs turned in slightly since birth from the position she was in, however, it has corrected itself for the most part. My family is CONSTANTLY hounding me to take her to a pediatric ortho. when my ped. thinks it's unnecessary since she has been walking since 10.5 months and you can't even tell anymore that her legs turned in at all. It's like LEAVE ME ALONE. I'm NOT an idiot, I know how to take care of my child and I'm NOT neglecting her just because I don't think this is an issue. You can't win, I've just decided that everyone else is an azz and that I really have to get better at tuning them out, as annoying as it is.
When strangers have something to say to me about my parenting skills, which has happened a couple of times, I'm not nice. Sorry, but leave me alone.
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| Posted 8/5/07 11:09 AM |
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MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Pet peeve as a parent... somewhat of a rant...
I also could have written this myself. Not only do I research the hell out of everything, but after I find out my own information I consult with my Drs on everything. And I mean everything.
It drives me nuts.
We were out the other day and a woman actually approached us by saying, "what a gorgeous baby....where's his hat?"
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| Posted 8/5/07 11:17 AM |
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yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
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Re: Pet peeve as a parent... somewhat of a rant...
That wouldn't bother me, I very often go to help someone who looks like they may be struggling, going up stairs with a baby, dealing with 2 children at one. I don't think people think you are stupid or incapable of doing something, I just think people like to think they are being helpful, or maybe doing a good deed.
Now this makes me wonder if other women think of me this way when I try to help them!!!
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| Posted 8/5/07 11:59 AM |
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Re: Pet peeve as a parent... somewhat of a rant...
Posted by racheeeee
That wouldn't bother me, I very often go to help someone who looks like they may be struggling, going up stairs with a baby, dealing with 2 children at one. I don't think people think you are stupid or incapable of doing something, I just think people like to think they are being helpful, or maybe doing a good deed.
Now this makes me wonder if other women think of me this way when I try to help them!!!
No - absolutely not - I have come out of Starbucks holding his car seat and my coffee, and people run to hold the door for me, which I really appreciate... Or when I'm pushing him in the stroller and trying to get in somewhere and people will help - its not WHAT you do, its the WAY you do it - you arent going up to these women with an attitude like - wow, you look like you don't know what you are doing, so I'm going to help you. I appreciate - oh hey - need some help? But not - wow - need help - because...
KWIM?
Plus, its family attitudes towards me - they still have memories of me as this wild child, and maybe think I'm incapable of caring for my child without sneaking some booze in his formula or something....
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| Posted 8/5/07 12:04 PM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
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Re: Pet peeve as a parent... somewhat of a rant...
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Posted by racheeeee
That wouldn't bother me, I very often go to help someone who looks like they may be struggling, going up stairs with a baby, dealing with 2 children at one. I don't think people think you are stupid or incapable of doing something, I just think people like to think they are being helpful, or maybe doing a good deed.
Now this makes me wonder if other women think of me this way when I try to help them!!!
No - absolutely not - I have come out of Starbucks holding his car seat and my coffee, and people run to hold the door for me, which I really appreciate... Or when I'm pushing him in the stroller and trying to get in somewhere and people will help - its not WHAT you do, its the WAY you do it - you arent going up to these women with an attitude like - wow, you look like you don't know what you are doing, so I'm going to help you. I appreciate - oh hey - need some help? But not - wow - need help - because...
KWIM?
Plus, its family attitudes towards me - they still have memories of me as this wild child, and maybe think I'm incapable of caring for my child without sneaking some booze in his formula or something....
I agree with Racheee, I think this woman probably thought she was being helpful, she saw you with a stroller and a baby and wanted to give you a hand. People like babies and they like to help someone with a baby.
Your family is a completely different thing though, I mean, that isn't what you originally posted about and if they are saying or doing stuff to upset you, maybe you should say something to them.
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| Posted 8/5/07 1:43 PM |
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IrishTracy
Believe!!
Member since 5/05 15167 total posts
Name:
Tracy
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Re: Pet peeve as a parent... somewhat of a rant...
My sister CONSTANTLY gives me "friendly little suggestions" Like I don't know what I'm doing. She doesn't have any kids I have 3. It drives me mental. And I have snapped on many occasions.
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| Posted 8/5/07 2:20 PM |
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Re: Pet peeve as a parent... somewhat of a rant...
Posted by KateDevine
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Posted by racheeeee
That wouldn't bother me, I very often go to help someone who looks like they may be struggling, going up stairs with a baby, dealing with 2 children at one. I don't think people think you are stupid or incapable of doing something, I just think people like to think they are being helpful, or maybe doing a good deed.
Now this makes me wonder if other women think of me this way when I try to help them!!!
No - absolutely not - I have come out of Starbucks holding his car seat and my coffee, and people run to hold the door for me, which I really appreciate... Or when I'm pushing him in the stroller and trying to get in somewhere and people will help - its not WHAT you do, its the WAY you do it - you arent going up to these women with an attitude like - wow, you look like you don't know what you are doing, so I'm going to help you. I appreciate - oh hey - need some help? But not - wow - need help - because...
KWIM?
Plus, its family attitudes towards me - they still have memories of me as this wild child, and maybe think I'm incapable of caring for my child without sneaking some booze in his formula or something....
I agree with Racheee, I think this woman probably thought she was being helpful, she saw you with a stroller and a baby and wanted to give you a hand. People like babies and they like to help someone with a baby.
Your family is a completely different thing though, I mean, that isn't what you originally posted about and if they are saying or doing stuff to upset you, maybe you should say something to them.
I hear what you guys are saying - and I can see wher you guys are coming from. I think I lumped this poor woman into a whole other slew of issues.
sorry nice lady. Wherever you are.
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| Posted 8/5/07 10:30 PM |
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snuggleupagus
I'm a rolling machine.
Member since 9/06 2064 total posts
Name:
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Re: Pet peeve as a parent... somewhat of a rant...
actually, I'm with you Liza. I don't fuss, fret or panic in any fashion when my children need something and I can't figure out what that is in an instant. I'm rather laid back myself. Hey, I'm the first to admit that I'll shove a pacifier right back in his mouth from the floor if I can't *see* any dirt.
I had a lady yell at me at the park once for holding my son. apparently, keeping his spine straight is a bad thing. I wanted to smack her. (Meanwhile, I felt redeemed the other day when at the pediatritian's office, one of the nurses sees me holding him and says: "It's so nice to see someone holding their child for a change." Take that crazy lady at the park!)
As Ron would say, opinions are like a**holes, everybody's got one. Doesn't make them right.
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| Posted 8/6/07 6:50 AM |
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Ang-Rich
Beyond Compare
Member since 5/05 17988 total posts
Name:
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Re: Pet peeve as a parent... somewhat of a rant...
Completely understand this...
Last week when DS's pink eye started up we were out with some family members and after an hour I lost count of how many times they brought up his eye and what I should be doing. I mean the same conversation over and over. Finally I told them that I planned on doing nothing and wanted to let the other eye get irritated so at least they matched. Of course I got looks of horror over that but at least I finally got a laugh.
I tend to be neurotic over things but I am trying really hard to just chill out. I don't want my son to take on my crazy tendencies...I annoy myself with it sometimes. But just because I want to be calm and not go crazy doesn't mean I am going to neglect him. 
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| Posted 8/6/07 8:34 AM |
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