playdate w mom i dont know

DD is in K and is asking to have a playdate with one of her new friends. My dilemma is that i dont know the mom, I only met her once at back to school night, and being "forced" to socialize one-on-one with a mom i dont know is awkward for me. I know I have to put that aside for the sake of my DD, and I’m ok with that. So, I am looking for a recommendation of what do for a play date that will make this less awkward for me (and possibly the other mom)? Unfortunately its getting cool out, so the park may not be a good option.

Having something at my house is fine, but that’s a lot of “sitting around” with this mom. I dont have a problem with the girl coming to my house for a drop off playdate, but I’m not comfortable with dropping my DD off at a house that i dont know, so my concern is that if the girl gets dropped off, then the mom will think that i'm ok with dropping my kid off at her house.

Any thoughts?? Am I thinking about this all too much?? lol

playdate w mom i dont know

First off, breathe lol

Today is going to be 75 degrees and it really doesn't become non-park playdate weather for at least a few more weeks. So, why not do one of those soon to feel out how you and the other mom get along? You might hit it off and then wouldn't mind having them over your house. I've met some of my good "mom" friends that way.

Another option might be a bounce place or bowling since you have to kind of watch your kid and make small talk. It is less intimate than being one-on-one at someone's house.

Just realize that most other moms feel the same way you do about these things. It's awkward, but you will survive.

Re: playdate w mom i dont know

Weather hasn't been too bad and with the cold weather it gives an excuse to keep it short.
You can meet at an open play place like a bounce place.
Maybe lunch at the mall?

Try and be open to meeting new moms. I know it's weird at first, but I'm closest with two moms that started out as a playdate 3 years ago when the boys were in preschool. Now we get together with the families and make it a fun night. Adults play games and eat and drink in the dining room while the kids go play and have pizza in the kitchen. So glad I met them and we go out a lot for "girl's nights" too. The boys don't see each other as much, but they are still just as close when we all get together.
I've become friendly with a few moms too in his class. It also makes it more fun when you go to birthday parties. Nice to know other moms to talk to during the party.

Message edited 10/29/2015 9:24:29 AM.

Re: playdate w mom i dont know

yes, i do need to remind myself to breathe! i never used to be this anxious, i think these kids have turned my brain into mush!!! lol

i think that's a great idea - bounce place or bowling!

Oh, I'm open to meeting new moms, i just feel like its a weird situation. Which i am sure other people feel the same, so i wanted to make the "invite" to do something as easy as possible so she will be less likely to turn it down. lol

thanks

playdate w mom i dont know

I just went through this. The mom came up to me after soccer to ask about a playdate. We exchanged numbers, then I contacted her. It seemed like a drop off playdate, which I have never done before, so I was a little weary on it. But we made plans for dd to go there. I went to drop her off, but I walked her in and she invited my and dd2 in. I wound up staying for the hour. We had a limited time b/c she had to drop her older dd off at 5. I went really well and we talked and got to know each other. It was nice to meet other people. Maybe make it a short visit at first. Sure you can come by but I have to end by this time b/ I have to go somewhere.

Re: playdate w mom i dont know

I think it's still warm enough for parks but if you don't you could always go to the library and have the kids play or do a program.

Re: playdate w mom i dont know

I'm new to this thing too.
I usually plan for someone's house. If warm, we change to a park.
I sometimes have had the other mom bring munchkins or coffee. That's nice.
Wine or beer tends to be a big hit. Maybe we are all a bunch of lushes, but I have never had a mom turn down a drink & they send up staying longer & making plans again.

Re: playdate w mom i dont know

I think most moms want to at least get to know the other parent before just dropping off. My DD is in 3rd grade, and she made a new friend this year. I initiated the playdate and the mom invited me to "stay for coffee" while the kids played. It was lovely getting to know someone new!

Re: playdate w mom i dont know

I think the conversation tends to flow pretty easily on play dates, even with moms you don't know, because you have the kids in common and there are always universal things to talk about when you have kids the same age. And if your kids are in the same class, you have the school/teacher/class in common to discuss. My DS is in first grade, but last year the kindergarten moms always chatted about questions and events going on at school when we saw each other (at play dates, birthday parties, etc.) because it was new to everyone.

If you want to do a play date at your house, but you are afraid of it dragging on too long or being awkward, you can always put in a built in stop time. Maybe say something like "My daughter would love to have [name] come play on Wed. afternoon, but I have to be at x by 5 pm, so would 3:30 to 4:30 pm work for you guys?" If it's a first time play date and they are young, I think an hour or hour and a half is always good to start and you can build up to longer play dates next time once you see how everyone hits it off.

If you prefer to be out somewhere and you think it's too cold for the park, you can do bowling, skating (roller or ice skating), children's museum. I recently did a play date at Cool Crafts, which is a plaster painting type of place near me.