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justmefornow
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/08 859 total posts
Name:
n
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Playdates and Siblings
My DD (age 7) asked me to contact a parent of a child whom she'd like to have over our place. I called the parents, they emailed me back to confirm the time, and then asked if the friend's older sister could also come. She is 2 years older and in the same school, so DD knows her.
Since I don't know the parents and we never had the friend over, I wasn't sure what the parents were going to do as far as dropping her off. So, when the father asked me by email if the sister can come too, I said sure (what else was I going to say?) I assumed he meant because he will stay so, I made sure to tell him feel free if he is comfortable to drop his DD off -- thinking that the reason he asked if his other DD could come is maybe because he was going to stay and didn't have anyone else to watch the older child).
So, his email back to me was (yes I'm okay with dropping THEM off!!). The older one was not invited though?! I haven't asked DD if she is okay with this. I don't consider myself to be so hung up with these things, but I feel like the point of the playdate is to have special time with a friend, I was already concerned about my younger DD (age 5) being in the way.
Things were different when we were younger, our parents did not have to arrange these things!!! Kids, just came over LOL.
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Posted 1/5/11 5:36 PM  |
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WhatNow
Say Cheese!
Member since 1/06 8033 total posts
Name:
A (formerly WhatNow?)
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Re: Playdates and Siblings
I think you should express you concern by telling him that you are worried his oldest will not fan as much fun because she is older than the other two kids at the playdate. that's what i would use to bring it up and see what he says.
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| Posted 1/5/11 5:55 PM |
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twicethefun
Loving life
Member since 7/06 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: Playdates and Siblings
sibling should stay home imo
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| Posted 1/5/11 6:33 PM |
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4ForMe
:)
Member since 11/05 5666 total posts
Name:
Barbara
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Re: Playdates and Siblings
Posted by twicethefun
sibling should stay home imo
I agree. I would never have the nerve to ask if my other children could tag along.
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| Posted 1/5/11 6:38 PM |
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Bops
My 3 wishes
Member since 12/07 13625 total posts
Name:
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Re: Playdates and Siblings
Do you think your DD's friend is nervous (maybe its her first playdate w/out parents there ) and "she" maybe asked the dad if big sis could go??
Tough situation to be put in..Playdates are stressful aren;t they ( and I'm just starting off with them, DS is in K  )
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| Posted 1/5/11 8:29 PM |
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beachgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 7967 total posts
Name:
sara
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Re: Playdates and Siblings
in this instance I would just let them both come over. You never know the older kid might have fun and amuse the younger two. I find that younger kids always idolize "older" kids so you 7 year old might have more fun if the two of them came over.
Its only going to be a 2-3 hour thing right so no point stressing it - if it becomes a habit then I might say something.
You could always introduce your 5 year old to the 9 year old sibling and maybe they can have fun playing together - that way you get some down time too
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| Posted 1/5/11 9:48 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Playdates and Siblings
I agree, it's a little weird, but you may find it's easier. The older child usually takes a motherly role with the younger ones and takes care of them. Alex has neighbors with a 5 year old (her age) and a 9 year old, and they always play together, and when they do, I don't have to do a thing because the 9 year old entertains them and basically mothers them the whole time.
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| Posted 1/6/11 9:03 AM |
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justmefornow
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/08 859 total posts
Name:
n
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Re: Playdates and Siblings
Okay, so I'm not crazy that it was a little forward of the father to ask for the older child to come over. I asked DD if she minds and she said not at all, she even said that she thinks the friend's parents work on weekends (?) so I am letting it go, and just think of it as a fun playdate. You are right, she may keep them all busy and entertained.
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| Posted 1/6/11 9:11 AM |
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justmefornow
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/08 859 total posts
Name:
n
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Re: Playdates and Siblings
Posted by Bops
Do you think your DD's friend is nervous (maybe its her first playdate w/out parents there ) and "she" maybe asked the dad if big sis could go??
Tough situation to be put in..Playdates are stressful aren;t they ( and I'm just starting off with them, DS is in K )
This is what my husband said, that maybe the parents want her there to watch out for the 7 yo friend.
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| Posted 1/6/11 9:12 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Playdates and Siblings
Posted by 4ForMe
I would never have the nerve to ask if my other children could tag along.
I agree, but I would also never say no to having extra kids over. If it doesn't work out, then I'd tell them you have a full house but room for one more.
Your 5 year old may be a good distraction for the 9 year old.
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| Posted 1/6/11 9:35 AM |
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Elizabeth
Mom of Three
Member since 9/05 7900 total posts
Name:
"MOMMY!!!"
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Re: Playdates and Siblings
Posted by beachgirl
in this instance I would just let them both come over. You never know the older kid might have fun and amuse the younger two. I find that younger kids always idolize "older" kids so you 7 year old might have more fun if the two of them came over.
Its only going to be a 2-3 hour thing right so no point stressing it - if it becomes a habit then I might say something.
You could always introduce your 5 year old to the 9 year old sibling and maybe they can have fun playing together - that way you get some down time too
I agree with this. While I think it's odd that a parent would ask if their other sibling could come over when it was a first playdate, there are a few thoughts just within this thread on why he could have asked. Plus he's a Dad, they have less of a handle on the social etiquette of playdates (speaking from experience with my DH LOL) If he's just a nervy parent looking to unload 2 kids, you'll know soon enough. But I agree the 9 yr old might play good with the 5 yr old. My DS (8) has a friend in his class who is 9 with a 7 yr old brother. When the 7 yr comes over too, he plays with my 4 yr old, they're kindred spirits somehow.
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| Posted 1/6/11 12:41 PM |
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Kathy
LIF Adolescent
Member since 7/05 718 total posts
Name:
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Re: Playdates and Siblings
I would probably not say no - but usually I will only do siblings if my kids are friends with them. I have 2 families that have 2 similar age groups of 2 of my kids and we have done "double" play dates and usually they don't play together in the same room.
Sounds like the dad wanted to get rid of both kids at the same time to have some free time to himself. JMO
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| Posted 1/7/11 12:47 PM |
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mypumpkin
It's a beautiful day! :)
Member since 7/08 2296 total posts
Name:
Dee
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Re: Playdates and Siblings
I wouldn't mind if they both came over, but I would definitely think that it was weird that he even asked for the older one to come over. Maybe like the above poster said he wanted a break from both of them and thought what the heck I'll just send them both.lol
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| Posted 1/8/11 12:09 AM |
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