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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Playing Devil's Advocate here....
when you are at fault for a problem in your relationship, do you acknowlege it? do you even see it?
sometimes I feel like we have a tendancy to blame our men for things, when they are just reacting to (or acting out) feelings they have about things we've done or didn't do...
so..do you "know" when their behavior is based on something that ultimately, is at least in part, due to something with you?
Message edited 1/10/2007 10:26:13 AM.
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Posted 1/10/07 10:25 AM  |
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usuk2004
I'm ONE!
Member since 5/05 5150 total posts
Name:
Farah
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Re: Playing Devil's Advocate here....
Posted by Ophelia
when you are at fault for a problem in your relationship, do you acknowlege it? do you even see it?
sometimes I feel like we have a tendancy to blame our men for things, when they are just reacting to (or acting out) feelings they have about things we've done or didn't do...
so..do you "know" when their behavior is based on something that ultimately, is at least in part, due to something with you?
Are you my husband posting under a fake name???? 
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| Posted 1/10/07 10:26 AM |
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MrsFlatbread
Skinny jeans are in my future
Member since 6/06 10258 total posts
Name:
Baby Momma
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Re: Playing Devil's Advocate here....
I tend to think that I am always right...so to admit fault in the relationship has been difficult for me! However, I have been trying very hard to see how I contribute to some of our difficulties. It has been difficult, but a work in progress. Does that answer your question?
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| Posted 1/10/07 10:30 AM |
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greenfreak
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Member since 9/06 11483 total posts
Name:
greenfreak
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Re: Playing Devil's Advocate here....
I do, but sometimes it takes a lot for me to say it. I think it's also important to accept the faults in someone else but not always have to point it out to them.
DH will get mad at something else and try to pick a fight with me sometimes. I know it's not me, so I don't fight, but I don't blame him either. It doesn't happen enough to be an issue.
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| Posted 1/10/07 10:30 AM |
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Gertyrae
Peace out Homies!
Member since 5/05 20046 total posts
Name:
Gerty ®
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Re: Playing Devil's Advocate here....
I do - we usually will fight about something and neither one will back down right away. Then an hour or two later - the one who is wrong will admit it. Sometimes it's me, sometimes him.
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| Posted 1/10/07 10:31 AM |
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DaniJude
You're My Home <3
Member since 11/06 14815 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: Playing Devil's Advocate here....
Posted by usuk2004
Posted by Ophelia
when you are at fault for a problem in your relationship, do you acknowlege it? do you even see it?
sometimes I feel like we have a tendancy to blame our men for things, when they are just reacting to (or acting out) feelings they have about things we've done or didn't do...
so..do you "know" when their behavior is based on something that ultimately, is at least in part, due to something with you?
Are you my husband posting under a fake name????
To answer the post though: I'm wrong a lot, I'm human and I admit it no problem when I am.
I usually, I can't say always, but usually know when I am at fault or partially to blame... I'm aware of things like that and I always admit it.
Most of the time-- we are both at fault for different things... And we acknowledge it and talk about it. This was VERY hard for DH-- he had a really tuff time admitting he was wrong when we first met, got engaged and then when we got married it got worse! He felt like he was "being a bad DH" by being wrong from time to time. I tried to explain to him that if he is wrong b/c he did something AWFUL then yeah- it's really bad but that is never the case-- he is wrong b/c he made a mistake- a human, normal mistake! So I try to tell him not to take it so hard- let's learn from it and grow.
So, we do pretty good with that 
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| Posted 1/10/07 10:31 AM |
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domsmom52704
Family is everything!!!
Member since 5/05 1989 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: Playing Devil's Advocate here....
Posted by DaniRella
Posted by usuk2004
Posted by Ophelia
when you are at fault for a problem in your relationship, do you acknowlege it? do you even see it?
sometimes I feel like we have a tendancy to blame our men for things, when they are just reacting to (or acting out) feelings they have about things we've done or didn't do...
so..do you "know" when their behavior is based on something that ultimately, is at least in part, due to something with you?
Are you my husband posting under a fake name????
To answer the post though: I'm wrong a lot, I'm human and I admit it no problem when I am.
I usually, I can't say always, but usually know when I am at fault or partially to blame... I'm aware of things like that and I always admit it.
Most of the time-- we are both at fault for different things... And we acknowledge it and talk about it. This was VERY hard for DH-- he had a really tuff time admitting he was wrong when we first met, got engaged and then when we got married it got worse! He felt like he was "being a bad DH" by being wrong from time to time. I tried to explain to him that if he is wrong b/c he did something AWFUL then yeah- it's really bad but that is never the case-- he is wrong b/c he made a mistake- a human, normal mistake! So I try to tell him not to take it so hard- let's learn from it and grow.
So, we do pretty good with that
It may take a lot sometimes but I do admit when I am wrong eventually. I wish that FH and I could do what you do Dani Rella...It would make things so much better...Usually when I have a problem with something I tell him (I am a very emo person and can't keep things bottled up) he just sits there and doesn't say a word and when I ask him for some input he just says IDK... OR the reverse happens he'll say something really dumb mean just because we're fighting and then wont apologize for it later...
I can't remember the last time I heard him say I'm sorry and really meant it...He thinks that no matter what he's right.
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| Posted 1/10/07 10:56 AM |
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july06bride
I'm a mom!
Member since 5/05 3966 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Playing Devil's Advocate here....
I tend to think Dh is wrong MORE often, but If I realize it is me I will say I am sorry and acknowledge my fault (dh might disagree )
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| Posted 1/10/07 11:28 AM |
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Waste06
Waste not, want not
Member since 6/06 7219 total posts
Name:
Lois Mom Mommy Mama Ma
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Re: Playing Devil's Advocate here....
We both kind of know when we're wrong. We'll argue, and even when we're arguing we admit that it's something not worth fighting about.
But when I'm wrong, I admit and apologize. And he does too.
For me, being right all the time isn't worth my husband's unhappiness. If I'm wrong, it's just better to admit it and own up to it, than to insist I'm right and let him stay mad or unhappy.
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| Posted 1/10/07 12:15 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: Playing Devil's Advocate here....
I can admit when I am wrong. so can he.
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| Posted 1/10/07 12:17 PM |
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2PreciousBlessings
The Perfect Pair
Member since 5/06 19861 total posts
Name:
Best Wife & Mommy
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Re: Playing Devil's Advocate here....
I do admit when I am wrong! For me it is about recognizing my wrong and try to work on it so that it does not happen again in the future.
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| Posted 1/10/07 12:18 PM |
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Emily
Kasey & Me! Lurves it!
Member since 7/06 8703 total posts
Name:
STBHC
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Re: Playing Devil's Advocate here....
Posted by usuk2004
Posted by Ophelia
when you are at fault for a problem in your relationship, do you acknowlege it? do you even see it?
sometimes I feel like we have a tendancy to blame our men for things, when they are just reacting to (or acting out) feelings they have about things we've done or didn't do...
so..do you "know" when their behavior is based on something that ultimately, is at least in part, due to something with you?
Are you my husband posting under a fake name????
Oh my, that was my first thought too!!
A) I am perfect
B) I will never go to sleep mad. I will still make him sleep out on the couch, but I was taught never to go to sleep mad. If the person you are mad at or you die while sleeping the last thoughts will be anger.  Its depressing but I was raised that way.
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| Posted 1/10/07 12:45 PM |
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DaniJude
You're My Home <3
Member since 11/06 14815 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: Playing Devil's Advocate here....
Posted by domsmom52704
It may take a lot sometimes but I do admit when I am wrong eventually. I wish that FH and I could do what you do Dani Rella...It would make things so much better...Usually when I have a problem with something I tell him (I am a very emo person and can't keep things bottled up) he just sits there and doesn't say a word and when I ask him for some input he just says IDK... OR the reverse happens he'll say something really dumb mean just because we're fighting and then wont apologize for it later...
I can't remember the last time I heard him say I'm sorry and really meant it...He thinks that no matter what he's right.
Aww, thanks!!
But Vin was like that in the beginning...
I worked on it with him. I would say what you are saying right now-- that you admit when you are wrong so it's OK for him to do it in return-- I would mention that you both should be "fair" and treat each other equally so for him to try and understand how he was wrong would help.
Vin would do the same thing too- just sit there and I would be like- you can't just say nothing! How would you like it if I did that when you were upset and hurt about something?
So it took a while but after some time and me explaining that it's OK to be wrong and that I'm wrong all the time then he got it...
Also, THIS has helped me a lot!!...
CLICK HERE
It's good to understand WHY apologizing helps...
HTH! 
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| Posted 1/10/07 1:36 PM |
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