Please help. How do you deal with family who doesn't listen?

My MIL invited us over Friday night for dinner. I was going to call her and remind her that my daughter has an egg allergy and make sure she wasn't making anything with egg. But I figured that was silly because she is aware of it. We get there and she made meatballs with egg in it, the sauce and the meatballs had been cooking in it all day with spaghetti that is clearly marked on the package that it has egg ingredients. I said something to her and my MIL said she only used ONE egg and FIL said that egg isn't the main ingredient so its OK. I was so ******. My DH doesn't help by joining in and telling me that she'll probably be fine.
By the way,dessert was a cake made with eggs and cookies made with eggs. Luckily I packed my own little meal just in case my daughter got picky. WHY DON'T PEOPLE LISTEN?
Anyway, they are watching my daughter for a few hours for us tonight because we have to go out. How do I tactfully bring up the NO egg issue again? PLEASE HELP!!!!!

Re: Please help. How do you deal with family who doesn't listen?

I mentioned it again to my DH and he thinks that as long as its NOT a real "EGGY" meal, its ok. He thinks it means stay away from souffles and scrambled eggs.
The dr thinks she has a pretty strong allergy to egg whites and urged us NOT to get a flu shot because of it.

Re: Please help. How do you deal with family who doesn't listen?

I would handle it the way I've seen my sister handle her diet. She used to be into holistic foods and wouldn't eat anything with dairy, sugar, wheat, etc. For her it was a preference & she felt a medical issue. For your daughter, this could be life threatening depending on how severe her reaction.

Pack food for your daughter & when you drop her off say "I know that you have a hard time figuring out what to make her, so I've packed some egg-free food. I wouldn't want her to have an allergic reaction and have you bring her to the ER."

I'm sure part of the issue is trying to figure out what to make when your ILs have been cooking with eggs their entire lives. It doesn't make it right to give her a "non-eggy" food, but if they are given food that she can have, it will make everyone's lives easier.

Good luck!

Re: Please help. How do you deal with family who doesn't listen?

I'm going to have to make sure that I always pack a seperate meal and snacks so this isn't going to be a problem.
At least I can have piece of mind KNOWING the meal is ok to eat.

Re: Please help. How do you deal with family who doesn't listen?

What is wrong with people!!!! Tell them that the Dr. insists you keep her away from all products with eggs in the ingredients. For some reason people respect what the Dr. says more than what Mom says. They usually think Mom is just being overprotective.
Good luck...

P.S. My daughter is allergic to milk and soy protein. I BF so I have to watch my diet very carefully. People really don't understand.

Re: Please help. How do you deal with family who doesn't listen?

I think as her Grandparents they would be more carefull. I would insist upon it. If you have to be dramatic & say if you want to see her in the hospital they give her meals that aren't to "eggy" I would be furious!!

Re: Please help. How do you deal with family who doesn't listen?

We took Alyssa to a friend's house last night and she broke out in hives because they have a dog and she is allergic to dogs.
This is a perfect example of how important it is to listen to the dr and keep her away from things she is allergic to. She didn't even play with the dog, but because she was around her, she had a reaction. I told DH "Could you imagine how she would react if she ATE something she wasn't supposed to?" I want him to understand we have to be very careful.
I'm going to tell our inlaws what happened to so that they will be careful in the future.
I will also always pack our own snacks and meals when going to someone's house so we take NO CHANCES.
An allergy is an allergy whether its a small amount they are exposed to or a large amount. YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO KEEP THEM AWAY!

Re: Please help. How do you deal with family who doesn't listen?

Posted by NovemberSue

I mentioned it again to my DH and he thinks that as long as its NOT a real "EGGY" meal, its ok. He thinks it means stay away from souffles and scrambled eggs.
The dr thinks she has a pretty strong allergy to egg whites and urged us NOT to get a flu shot because of it.

Re: Please help. How do you deal with family who doesn't listen?

From now on, I will make sure mommy packs snacks and meals for her just in case.

Re: Please help. How do you deal with family who doesn't listen?

Definitely pack her some meals, and I would also print something out about what can happen if a child has an anaphylactic reaction to an allergy. Hopefully this will scare her into listening to you. My mom used to have this problem with my own grandmother. I was terribly allergic to milk and peanuts, and my grandmother would feed me both. Needless to say, it wasn't until my grandmother saw what could happen that she stopped. I'm sure if you educate her, that will help. Good luck!