Please help me put things into perspective..

I quit my job. I decided to stay home with Megan for another year. It works all the way around. Although we will be suffering fiancially of course, it just didnt cut it to leave her now.

While I am SO HAPPY that I will be spending every day with my baby girl, I am kind of sad. All the teachers are getting ready to go back, the sky has "that look" to it, the telethon is on (which was always exciting for me because I loved going back to school when I was younger). And I realize now that I am not returning. Its such a catch 22 and I have so many different feelings. I hate to sound selfish or that I dont want to stay home, because it was 100% my choice. I just have to remember that having a child is all about change and sacrafice. And while the rest of the teachers and students are getting ready to go back, I am preparing for a wonderful new year with my beautiful child.

Please, dont get me wrong. I ADORE Megan. I cherish EVERY moment I have with her. I just feel like I lost a piece of myself that was pre-Megan. And it kind of makes me a little sad. Thanks for reading.

Re: Please help me put things into perspective..

Sounds like your feelings are totally normal and nothing to feel ashamed of. And you can return to teaching someday, so that part of you is definitely NOT lost. I am also a teacher, and home with my baby till November. I wish I was able to be home with her for the whole year (and beyond!). Enjoy your time with her, I'm sure it will fly by and you'll be wondering where the time went in no time.

Re: Please help me put things into perspective..

Aww, I love you, my dear. I completely understand because you are letting go of a piece of you for now, and that's ok. You'll go back to it if it's something you want to do. I never thought I'd ever say this, but I'm wishing more now than ever that I didn't have to go back. I would love to be home with Ava everyday, but I can't Hang in there. Try to get out and do some mommy and Megan stuff this school year. Take her to the library, or Borders for storytime. Maybe find a play group or something to keep you girls occupied.

Re: Please help me put things into perspective..

You are right; it's all about change. I felt like two different people when I was still working and it was the weirdest feeling. Now it feels weird to be home. I think we just have to get used to the new 'normal'. (if that makes sense...)

Re: Please help me put things into perspective..

Ive come to find that no matter what decisions I make I always feel guilty.

I'm not sure if you have read any of my posts re: going back to work, but I was home with RJ for just about 2 yrs. I started to miss "work" and felt DS was bored with just me at home...

Now Im back to work and miss DS terribly, and feel like I have "let him down" by not being with him.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't!

Try not to let it get to you, enjoy every second you are home, because eventually you'll go back, and wish you were home...


Hope that made sense

Re: Please help me put things into perspective..

It will get better... You haevn't lost it, you are just putting it on hold for a little while longer...

Re: Please help me put things into perspective..

Thank you ladies! You all mean so much to me I swear! You made me feel a million times better!!

Re: Please help me put things into perspective..

at least you have sincere thoughts in your head about this time of year. I felt so frumpy the other day at the mall. In my sneakers...ponytail...envying those who are out purhcasing their new boots for the fall. I loved buying my yearly black and brown boots.

Re: Please help me put things into perspective..

I totally agree with the damned if you do, damned if you don't. I will be going back to work tomorrow. When Emma was first born I thought I'd be counting the days to go back to work just to get a break. Now after spending each day 24-7 with her I don't want to go back to work. Luckily I have my wonderful mom who will be watching her 5 days a week....but I feel guilty not being with Emma and I feel guilty that my mom is doing my job (even though she has waited her whole life for it). However..the way I am thinking about is I am working to give Emma a better life. I guess thats a good perspective right?

Re: Please help me put things into perspective..

Posted by chmlengr

It will get better... You haevn't lost it, you are just putting it on hold for a little while longer...

Re: Please help me put things into perspective..

Posted by Janice

at least you have sincere thoughts in your head about this time of year. I felt so frumpy the other day at the mall. In my sneakers...ponytail...envying those who are out purhcasing their new boots for the fall. I loved buying my yearly black and brown boots.

Re: Please help me put things into perspective..

Noreen, I TOTALLY relate. I became a SAHM just before DD #2 was born in May. This is my first September since, well since forever that I don't have a "first day of school" to look forward to. I started teaching in Sept of 1996. I was in NC for the past week and came back to find leaves on my lawn--that depressed me, so I know what you mean by the sky having "that look." I know for sure I'm going to shed a tear this week--probably many. I even got choked up sitting in a jacuzzi under the stars in the Outer Banks this week!

I know what you mean about feeling selfish--but it's not true. You're being far from selfish--you're actually being *selfless* You're giving up a huge part of your life for your daughter--I can't think of anything more admirable.

And come on, will you really miss grading papers?

Re: Please help me put things into perspective..

I applaud you for acknowledging that you have mixed feelings. It helps others who are feeling the same way. I am going back to work part time and although I would rather stay home, sometimes I'm glad to have the reprieve.

Re: Please help me put things into perspective..

It's normal to feel the way you are feeling. After 11 years at my job I resigned. I felt really bad at first but then as I got used to being a SAHM I knew I had made the right decision. Do I miss the socialization with the adults at work? Yes I do. But I wouldn't trade that for the time I have with my son. These are the days to treasure because one day before we know it they'll be all grown up and we'll be wishing for the days when they were little again. Enjoy this time with Megan.

It's hard financially but for me it's still worth it. You have to make the decision that's right for you and your family.

Message edited 9/3/2007 11:58:00 AM.

Re: Please help me put things into perspective..

I SOOOunderstand how you feel. Im not a teacher but am now a SAHM.

AND I so understand the "time of the year" stuff.

Its gonna be worth it.

AND.. fast forward to the DEAD of winter when its SNOWING hard and your school didnt close and you can snuggle in bed with DD still instead of fighting the horrible roads!!

AND fast forward to the first day of Spring, that first early 70 Degree day where you would have hated being cooped up in the building and now you take DD out to play at the park!

Try to think of the good things to come. ( But we understand )

Re: Please help me put things into perspective..

Message edited 11/24/2007 7:39:20 PM.