Please say it gets better.

Hi there. I'm a first time mom... To identical twin boys... And I've been having such a hard time since they were born 3 weeks ago. I am an emotional mess. I can't stop crying, I'm totally overwhelmed, and I just feel like I can't do this. I've barely eaten since the birth... No appetite, and the times I am able to force a few bites down I get horrible tummy ache and end up in bathroom (sorry if tmi).
It seems my boys cry non stop and I only have 1 set of hands so can't pick up and care for/ soothe both at once... So one cries while I care for other and so on. My husband is at work during day and he comes home to two crying babies and a crying wife and I know he is totally overwhelmed too. At times I find myself asking why we had to have 2 at once (it was natural and a total shock having twins...) . Sometimes I wish there was only 1, or that I didn't push my husband to have kids at all. I felt ready for 2 years when I bugged him to start trying and now with 2 newborns I am not ready at all.

Has anyone else felt like this after having twins? I wonder how I am going to make it through the day and I dread the next day. I feel like I'm going through the motions of caring for them, but that's all it is. Going through the motions because I have to... Because I brought them into the world. It's not their fault, ands they are so innocent.
And I feel beyond guilty for feeling like this. I don't know what to do.

Has anyone else been like this? Please tell me this will all get better! How did u all cope with this? And with caring for two newborns? I love them very much but am so stressed and overwhelmed and depressed I don't know what to do. I feel so alone with this.

Re: Please say it gets better.

Yes it does. I Promise.

I was already a mom, thinking ok cant be that bad and then had my twins boys and I cried for the 1st few months...felt so overwhelmed, and I didnt have any help.

All I could think was how am I going to do this?

I slowly started to figure it out. Sleeping through the nite didnt come easily for them, so I swaddled and finally at 3mths old, got them 7-7!
I got some sanity back.
At that point I was back to work and in a routine and it actually was smooth sailing from there.

Then came the mobile stage, where I feel like its harder again but Im in a better place and take it day by day.

Im still dealing with it and people look at me and ask me HOW I DO IT??



Hang in there!
We are all here for the support.

Re: Please say it gets better.

I so understand where you are coming from! There are still days that Im like "How am I going to keep doing this??"

It definitely gets better as they get older. And then from what Im experiencing now, it dips when the start crawling but Im sure I'll get the hang of this stage too. Once they start sleeping through the night that will be a big boost for you. You'll become very creative when it comes to soothing two babies at one time. And I dont care what some people say about bottle propping but it was the only way I could have both of them eating at the same time. You do what you have to do.

But yes, it does get better. You will see. Twin mommies are a special kind of mommy. Definitely ask on here for tips for certain situations. There's enough of us that Im sure some one will always have advise.

Re: Please say it gets better.

Yes, it WILL get better.

First thing, you have to eat! Not eating combined with lack of sleep and hormone changes will make you feel awful.

Get those babies ont he same schedule and when they nap, you nap too or eat. Leave the housework... it is not as important.

Once the babies start STTN, you will get more sleep and I promine things will be a million times better. My twins started STTN at 13/14 weeks, so there will still be a while of "survival mode".

Since I had a singleton first, I feel that made it easier for me because I wasn't a NEW parent and a twin parent at the same time. As a first time parent, I did things a lot differently as a second time parent. #1, you don't have to pick the babies up every time they cry. Letting a baby cry for 5 minutes isn't going to kill anybody. If you aren't comfortable holding and rocking both babies at once, line them up in swings or bouncy seats and talk or sing to them. Do you have enough swings/bouncy seats - because I have some I can give you?

Another thing that made me feel so much better was exercise and getting out of the house. Put them in the stroller and take a walk in the shade. Hopefully they will sleep. You will all get fresh air and a break from the house. If they cry, don't stress.

I hope some of these ideas help. Feel free to vent here... we all understand.

Re: Please say it gets better.

It absolutely gets better. First you are still a mess of hormones right now. I cried every day for the first month or so after my twins were born. I used to call my DH a few minutes after he left for work begging him to come home. But as time went on it got easier. I got into a routine. I learned how to soothe them at the same time. I learned more about them - who needed what and what worked with each of them. But those first few weeks, they were very, very, tough.

Re: Please say it gets better.

I'm not sure if you've seen this but watch the movie, the happiest baby on the block! It really works! I have a 19 month old and twin 7 week olds. So far it's going great, though the 19 month old is in daycare still. I swaddle all the time! Though at 3 weeks I'm pretty sure I was still hormonal. Fm me your number if you need to talk or vent and we can gtg! It helps to talk to someone that understands! I have no help either!

Re: Please say it gets better.

It gets better I PROMISE! I didn't believe anyone who told me that in the beginning. Your hormones are still all out of wack and you are not yourself and you are taking care of 2 babies. Things will fall into place and you will have mostly good days with a few crazy days here and there

Swaddling them helped us alot it kept them calm and helped them sleep between feedings. Also I used a baby carrier like the Bjorn or Ergo and it allowed me to get stuff done. But Julz is right don't worry about the housework! It is not important! Rest when they are sleeping and make sure you eat. You will wind up run down and you will get sick!

Hang in there!

Re: Please say it gets better.

Ariana, I understand what you are feeling! My will be a month old on Tuesday. I'm also a first time mom and I feel like I run to them anytime they cry! I'm finally getting my appetite back...like you, I was hardly eating. My husband has been a huge help with the twins, but when he has to work, I'm feeding and changing two boys on my own day and night. I'm learning to stay calm when they're both screaming. Always remember that you are doing the best that you can!!

Re: Please say it gets better.

IT GETS BETTER!!!

I look back now on the first few weeks especially and they are a total blur of exhaustion and overwhelming emotions.

Get the babies on the same schedule, and it will free up a little time for you to sit and catch your breath during the day. having twins is overwhelming....no way around that.

And remember, if you have to tend to one baby and leave the other crying for a few minutes it is OK. You have to do what needs to be done that minute. LEAVE THE HOUSEWORK. It will get done eventually. Focus on you and the babies!

Re: Please say it gets better.

My twins are not here yet, so I can't offer any advice but I wanted to send you some cyber I can feel your emotions through your post Although I have done nothing but try to conceive these children for the past 3 years of my life, I am still scared $hitless and I can see me writing a post like yours in a few short weeks too. Twins are OVERWHELMING, you go from taking care of just you, to BAM being totally responsible for every single need (and newborns have many!) of two (loud) little human beings ! You are human. of course you feel crazy! It will NOT always be this hard, please try to remember that in the hard moments.

Also, to the ladies who have already replied and shared, THANK YOU. Thank you for being brave enough to admit how hard it is, letting EVERYONE here who is scared know they are not alone, not judging us new moms and being so supportive.

Re: Please say it gets better.

Aw, I'm sorry you're having a rough time. My babies aren't even here yet, but I'm already worrying about what it's going to be like in the first couple months! I'm sure I'll be feeling the way you are now. I think it sounds like it's totally normal what you're going through. That's why they say to accept help whenever you can get it because it is hard taking care of two babies.

I hope it gets easier for you. You're doing the best you can!