Re: Please share your husbands responsibilities with me..I AM STRESSED OUT!

Wow...I'm amazed at how much all of these DHs do. Mine hardly does anything around the house other than take out the garbage! As for taking care of DD...it's all me...he's never even changed her diaper (she's 23 months old!)
Part of the problem is that I'm a control freak and even if he attempted to clean or do laundry, I wouldn't be happy with it.
He also works 6 days a week and has crazy hours. I guess the way he makes up for it all is getting a cleaning lady for me!

Re: Please share your husbands responsibilities with me..I AM STRESSED OUT!

I do most of it. DH works his butt off so that I can be home with Hailey. I work for him part time during her naps and sometimes after she goes to bed. I do all the laundry, cooking, cleaning, and taking care of baby. He will help out when I ask and he does the garbage but that is it. Most of the time I am ok with it because I always wanted to be able to stay home. But there are definatly times I flip my lid. I think his mother ruined him because she was a single mom who did everything, worked, cooked, cleaned, and babied him. She is a great person and a hard worker but it gave DH the attitude like women can do it all. Every once in awhile I have to set him straight, lol.

Re: Please share your husbands responsibilities with me..I AM STRESSED OUT!

Right now, since I'm on maternity leave and he's working, I do a lot more with Lily....but only because he's not home. In the evenings and on the weekends, he does his fair share of diapers and feedings.
He does spend a lot of time working on the house and has done an amazing job fixing up the outside this summer. I never have to nag him to do any of that - he creates his own schedule and gets it done.
And he asks me if I need help all the time - especially when Lily is being cranky. If she's had a rough day, when he comes home from work, he'll watch her while I go out for an hour or two to catch my breath.
And since he knows he wouldn't be able to stay home with her all day - he is in awe that I do it and has been buying me lots of presents lately to thank me.
He's absolutely wonderful!

Re: Please share your husbands responsibilities with me..I AM STRESSED OUT!

I guess I'm lucky - I have a DH who contributes 50/50, and sometimes even 60/40 (I'm the slacker of the family )

As for Alex, I go to work early (leave at 7am), so he wakes up with her, changes her, gets her dressed, gives her breakfast, takes her on a long stroll and drops her off at school. I pick her up at the end of the day. On the days that he doesn't have swim class, he's home by 5:30pm and we both spend time with her outside. I bathe her and get her ready for bed while DH prepares dinner.

He takes out the garbage, he loads and unloads the dishwasher, takes the dog for walks, mows the lawn and takes care of all the renovations in our house and/or fix-it stuff.

The only things that he does not do, and are my responsibility, are preparing Alex's lunch (I do that the night before so it's easier on him in the morning), doing her laundry, and giving her a bath.

I credit most of this to his mother - his father died at a young age, so his mother taught him how to be self-sufficient and taught him how important it is for everyone to pitch in equally. And, honestly, at the end of the day, that's a big part of why I married him

Re: Please share your husbands responsibilities with me..I AM STRESSED OUT!

DH does everything for Johnny he can. He bathes him, feeds him, changes him...

And he's a great cook so he makes dinners 50% of the time at least..he does laundry and grocery shopping.

He is all the woman i will ever want

Re: Please share your husbands responsibilities with me..I AM STRESSED OUT!

DH at this point is a "mother's helper." Plain and simple. A mother's helper that you have to nag to do stuff.

Re: Please share your husbands responsibilities with me..I AM STRESSED OUT!

DH is very good around the house. He works 6 days per week leaves the house at 10am and comes home at 10pm. He is very independent so i really dont have to cook everyday or clean everything. WE share the duties. Right now he is working and I'm not so i pick up the slack. He washes the dishes at night, sweeps the floor, does laundry, cleans the bathroom, plays with DS at night for like one hour, bathes DS every other day, he changes DS diapers at night, he feeds DS, on the weekend he lets me get some rest and stays up with the baby. He does all the repairs around the house, washes the cars etc.

I am glad that he is pretty self sufficient. Only thing i dont let him do is cook b/c i dont think he can cook as good as me. Plus he likes my food better.

Message edited 8/2/2007 2:12:52 PM.

Re: Please share your husbands responsibilities with me..I AM STRESSED OUT!

My DH is very helpful! He does a bunch of little things before he leaves for work in the morning & more when he gets home from work. He empties the dehumidifier, washes the dishes, does the laundry, will cook if I want him to, takes care of the garbage & recyclables. He does all of the yard work. When I clean the house, if he's home he'll dust and change the bed linens.

When it comes to DD, I do most of the things but it's mostly b/c she is going through this "I only want mommy phase." Once we get out of this phase, I think he'll be able to help with her more.

Re: Please share your husbands responsibilities with me..I AM STRESSED OUT!

I am VERY lucky, but I know that there days my DH feels about me how you are feeling.

He takes DS to school, I pick him up
He does dishes
He makes the bed
He does the laundry
He maintains the cars
He does the cleaning, pretty much all of it.

Yes, I am very lucky and very appreciative.

Re: Please share your husbands responsibilities with me..I AM STRESSED OUT!

FH works hard and long so that I can stay home (for now) with DD. When he gets home he just spends time with her and I cook and clean until baby bedtime and we put her to bed together and spend some time "alone".

ETA
On the weekends he helps me with things if I ask, but I usually let him entertain DD so I can get stuff done... I have some OCD issues with the way thing are cleaned and put away, so it's better if he doesn't help.

Message edited 8/3/2007 3:34:19 AM.

Re: Please share your husbands responsibilities with me..I AM STRESSED OUT!

Well, I'm not sure he would help as much if we had one given that I'm a temporarry SAHM and he travels for work... The fact that we knew we were having twins, I believe, convinced him from the getgo that there is more to do so he would have to fully "step up to the plate". At the same time, even before kids, he was very helpful whenever I needed it.

Of course, I do the bulk of it because I'm home all day and not working but what he does...

Baths- helps with back to back baths in sink

Feedings- always helps with evenings, we'll usually take one baby each, or he'll feed both simultaneously while I do other chores.

Diaper changes- YES, although he tries to get out of the poopy ones and dresses them for bed.

Entertains them by playing guitar and singing children's songs while I clean up the kitchen

Bedtime routine- we each carry a baby upstairs, sit with them in the boppies and he reads "Good Night Moon" (same story every night so they know it's time for bed).

Always asks if I need any errands run.
Post office.

All garbage, including the big diaper can

All car maintenance, fills mine up w/ gas so I don't have to stop with the babies.

All landscaping- we have a 1/2 acre

All house maintenance

He's very neat and always cleans up after himself.

Makes lunch on the weekends.

Helps me make the (12) bottles each night for the next day.

Will help with laundry but I usually get it done while they're napping during the day.

When I go back to work he will:

get kids dressed, fed and packed for daycare
pick up and drop off at daycare

I only lived with my father and brother for over 20 years and the first thing I learned is that men don't view things around the house as we do. They have a greater ability to "power down" in the midst of a chaotic house... they just don't see the mess or block the mess from their minds. We need to ask for their help, PRAISE them when they do, and not nitpick on how it's done just thank them for doing it. I know it sounds crazy because we would never have to ask another female for help, she'd just dive in and pretty much know what to do, w/o having to have a long, begging session. Men aren't wired that way.