Please tell me things get better after they turn 3!!

My DD has always been very good. Her "terrible 2's" weren't so bad, but 3 - ugh. It's like she turned into Jeckyl and Hyde. Sweet one minute, a monster the next. Listening skills are out the window and she's constantly testing me. I feel like I'm always being "mean" because I will NOT tolerate her new behaviors even if some like to say "she's 3 - let her be 3." Yes she's 3 and if she acts like a silly clown I'm cool with that, but the hour long tantrums, demanding it's her way or no way, bossing me around, being mean to me and her brother, it doesn't fly!

I hope 4 is better, someone please tell me it gets easier!! Having a 2 year old and 3 year old at the same time has got to be the hardest thing ever.

Message edited 2/17/2010 7:55:58 AM.

Re: Please tell me things get better after they turn 3!!

Re: Please tell me things get better after they turn 3!!

Both of my kids never had terrible 2's they both saved up till the 3's

Re: Please tell me things get better after they turn 3!!

Yup. three has been like that for us so far, too. I have heard people say you need to use a lot of mental games to get through this. I am finding that when I play with Sabrina mentally, I can get things done. It is exhausting but possible and sure beats the "my way or the high way" approach where you physically make them do things.

Sigh...I hope it gets better soon.

Re: Please tell me things get better after they turn 3!!

Oh 3 is a joy....

I look at it this way...

Here is where the problem lies...

At 2 they want to do it themselves, but cant, they will however allow you to help them....(fights and tantrums averted)

At 3 they want to do it themselves, but cant, they will NOT LET YOU HELP THEM....(tantrum ensues, mayhem)

At 4 they want to do it themselves and, by golly, they can...(peace and rest to the household)

Good Luck....

Re: Please tell me things get better after they turn 3!!

Re: Please tell me things get better after they turn 3!!

Re: Please tell me things get better after they turn 3!!

Posted by hbugal

Oh 3 is a joy....

I look at it this way...

Here is where the problem lies...

At 2 they want to do it themselves, but cant, they will however allow you to help them....(fights and tantrums averted)

At 3 they want to do it themselves, but cant, they will NOT LET YOU HELP THEM....(tantrum ensues, mayhem)

At 4 they want to do it themselves and, by golly, they can...(peace and rest to the household)

Good Luck....

Re: Please tell me things get better after they turn 3!!

Michael was great at 2 but as soon as he turned 3 he was the opposite of what he was. He is still the lovable, helpful, etc. little boy but sometimes I think when I talk to him it goes in one ear and out the other.

Re: Please tell me things get better after they turn 3!!

Mental games to play are things that engage the kid in thinking about something else so they will do what you ask. It could be as simple as asking them to help you with something, as many of them have a natural helper instinct. This works with Sabrina a lot. I will ask her to do something and she screams no. I ask her if she could "help" me and she tells me "I sure can".

Other examples: toddler doesn't want to eat because he/she is stubborn but really hungry. Try enlisting their help in feeding their toys. Tell them they need to set a good example for the toys since the toys/dolls don't know how to eat. Natural desire to be the leader and teacher comes out and mission accomplished

Another one that Sabrina and I play: she doesn't want to get ready for bathtime. I tell her I need to take off her socks so I can kiss her toes. She giggles, off come the socks. She tries to get away and I say I need to take off her jeans so I can kiss her hiney she giggles and off they go. Now she loves it and will say "Nooooo, not my socks..."just to entice me.

I also take time when Sabrina is in a good mood to talk to her about listening and how proud I am when she listens. I also tell her I know it is difficult to be three and I know she wants to do a lot and she can't and if she will let me, I will help her. I talk to her like an equal. She seems to like it. When she is calm and nice, I remind her that I like her behavior and tell her how I sometimes don't like how she behaves but I still love her.

I will NOT say that it is easy. And the past few months have been stressful and she ONLY turned three last week. But I think kids have an amazing respect for a parent who is willing to work with them and help them rather than just force them to do things.

There are times when we need to steamroll through and break someone else's will to get something accomplished (I personally don't like it, but won't argue if others do it) and there are times when an indirect path can be a much nicer way to get things done.

Re: Please tell me things get better after they turn 3!!

3 has been a WHIRLWIND for us!!!! Megan is exactly the same. One second the sweetest, kindest child ever..the next...I dont know how I gave birth to her or who she even is!!!!

She is all about her way or no way. Everything I say, I say like 100 times. She has even taken to hitting which I DO NOT tolerate AT ALL.

3 is wonderful because she "gets it." She is my little friend who goes shopping with me, helps me clean, and is always by my side. BUT...its also time for...NO being said constantly to me..whining until she thinks shes going to get what shes whining about and random outbursts no matter where we are. Her behavior is generally good...but shes ACTIVE..which makes her on the go ALL THE TIME...which allows for NO DOWN TIME. When she was smaller it was easier to deal with..now that shes 3 and can speak her mind...oh God help me most days!!

Re: Please tell me things get better after they turn 3!!

going through a lof of the same stuff with Aly (she will be 4 in June) and I hope it gets better soon. Although playing some of the "games" that Juliet described help us too