Poem written by one of my first graders...

It amazes me that she wrote this.
I'm putting in all of her spelling mistakes because we do invented spelling in 1st grade and don't correct the mistakes. I'll translate it on the bottom.

Ware - by Briana R.
Whiy was it
a war?
Becas contres
wondid to be
free from
the dorknis.
The dorknis treted
them like slavs.
Thiis is why it was
a whor. The contres
whar free.

War - By Briana R.
Why was it
a war?
Because countries
wanted to be
free from
the darkness.
The darkness treated
them like slaves.
This is why it was
a war. The countries
where free.

We taught them to use line breaks for more drama -- she got the drama thing down.

Message edited 5/12/2006 10:41:17 PM.

Re: Poem written by one of my first graders...

Re: Poem written by one of my first graders...

Wow! She has more wisdom than people 10 times her age...

Re: Poem written by one of my first graders...

Wow

Re: Poem written by one of my first graders...

Wow, what a smart little girl. Did she chose the topic herself?

Re: Poem written by one of my first graders...

We introduced Question and Wondering Poems to them...

The example we used was something like this:
What do you like about spring?
Can you name just one thing?
I like the birds that sing.
I like the smells that the flowers bring.
That is what I like about spring.

We then told them that question and wondering poems were when a poet asks a question that they always wanted the answer to, writes it down, wonders a bit, and writes down all of thier wonders --- which could be possible answers.

My model poem was Why did dinosaurs go extinct.

Each child came up with something different. Hers was the most remarkable. She also has an amazing poem for when we taught them to write about feelings ... called Inside my Heart modeled after Inside my Heart by Zoe Ryder White. I can share that also if anyone would like to hear it.

Re: Poem written by one of my first graders...

I'd like to hear it. I'm amazed that a child that young can grasp such a difficult concept such as war when so many of us as adults can't make sense of it. Her use of the darkness treating them like slaves is remarkable.

Re: Poem written by one of my first graders...

I think the darkness/slaves thing came from when we were studying black history and the presidents in the same month for president's day and black history month. we learned about harriet tubman and then also learned about abe lincoln. In her poem's illustration she put a woman with a sad face and a rock at her feet -- harriet tubman got a rock thrown at her head when she was a young girl beause she wouldn't help her owner capture a slave who had escaped. Then we learned about abe lincoln and the civil war -- so I think she just put that together to help her write the poem.

here is her other poem, called Inside my Heart.
To give you the background we learned about writing about strong feelings in poetry -- and read a poem by Zoe Ryder White called Inside my Heart where the girl talked about having one birthday party, two jazz bands, three singing birds, etc. inside her heart.

This is Briana's Version:

Inside my Heart
Lives to be free
Ment nowe frends
Ten hosise
8100 Days of soochl
5 drems

Inside my Heart
Lives to be free
Make new friends
Ten houses
8100 days of school
5 dreams

she recently moved so I think that's where the 10 houses part comes in and she is a REALLY enthusiastic student and loves school so I think that's where the 8100 days of school came in.

Re: Poem written by one of my first graders...

Wow!

Most of my high school students aren't that deep.