Positive spinoff on my thread: What did your parents do that you hope to do :)

I hope to be a good role model to my DD like my mom was to be...in terms of being a strong woman, a hard work ethic and taking care of others. While I complained a bit on the other thread, in many ways my mom is my hero

Re: Positive spinoff on my thread: What did your parents do that you hope to do :)

hmm... I'll have to think about this one

I can't think of anything in particular - they're not bad parents, but they're not great parents either (even though I love them).

Re: Positive spinoff on my thread: What did your parents do that you hope to do :)

Do you mean how they parent?

I want to be really open about sex like my parents were. They were always there to talk to and they knew when I did everything. They got me the pill when I needed it and because I never felt like I was sneaking around I waited until I was in a super long term relationship in college.

I also want to be strong and independent like my Mom. With a career and a life that I am proud of. Love my Mom!!

Re: Positive spinoff on my thread: What did your parents do that you hope to do :)

I want to be able to pay for their college education like my parents did for me.

Re: Positive spinoff on my thread: What did your parents do that you hope to do :)

Manners. They were big on them and I will be too.

Re: Positive spinoff on my thread: What did your parents do that you hope to do :)

I think the best thing my parents did for me was to respect me. They never belittled me or made me feel poorly about myself. Even when I made mistakes, they chose their words carefully...it was never that they we re disappointed in me...it was that they were disappointed in the choice I made. They were just smart that way. I hope to choose my words wisely with my girls.

They also valued education highly. My parents busted their butts to send me to top notch schools. I hope to be able to demonstrate to my children the importance of education.

Re: Positive spinoff on my thread: What did your parents do that you hope to do :)

Like some other posters, my parents also placed an extremely high value on education. I am doing the same thing for my children. My parents also took me on vacation and did educational things with me. I plan on doing the same for my kids.

Re: Positive spinoff on my thread: What did your parents do that you hope to do :)

Just thinking about this makes me emotional. My mom was and is the mother I pray I can be. Sure she made mistakes as a mom but she always put us first. My mom was always in our corner, very encouraging,was our biggest cheerleader. My was never too busy for us, she was involved in everything in school, class mom, brownie girlscout leader, coached soccer (even though she has no idea what she was doing), went on field trips, stayed up nights making cupcakes, I had the home where everyone wanted to come because she was always so welcoming, she never acted tired even though she has a heart condition. She taught us to have respect for adults, and authority figures. She had made us say please and thank you, constantly which was annoying than but I'm glad she did. I just really hope I can be a super mom like my mom, I pray that my daughter looks back as a grown woman and feels this way about me.

Re: Positive spinoff on my thread: What did your parents do that you hope to do :)

My dad believed in me. Always did. He never understood me and couldn't keep up with me but he believed in me.

Talk to her. My dad and I still talk every single day. No topic is out of bounds.

Discipline and manners. Drilled into with the fear of a belt. But I am respectful and I have him to thank for that. He was never cruel but got the point across and I think it was a good thing.

Oh and take me out of school randomly for ice cream!

Take me traveling every year. To a new place, a new historical story, a new state, a new adventure. I loved this and it made it possible for me to move to NYC and travel myself as I got older.

Re: Positive spinoff on my thread: What did your parents do that you hope to do :)

I hope to teach DS the value of a dollar - my parents did NOT pay for any of my education. In fact, they stopped paying my way once I was 14. Everything I wanted was bought by me.... With that being said, I do plan on paying DS's college tuition, but hope he values the cost of it.

Re: Positive spinoff on my thread: What did your parents do that you hope to do :)

I pray every day we can be HALF as good as my parents were/are. They emphasized education, family, faith and morals.

We were SO spoiled, not with money, but with love and attention.

Re: Positive spinoff on my thread: What did your parents do that you hope to do :)

Re: Positive spinoff on my thread: What did your parents do that you hope to do :)

My mom did everything for us. She stayed at home with 6 kids, and she went to college at night to earn her degree that she never got b/c she had me at 18.

When the youngest went to kindergarten, she became a paralegal and worked so hard ...my parents divorced and she has done it ALL on her own.

I admire that. If i'm having a tough day as a SAHM she will remind me that i will never regret the time. I always think of that if i am feeling a bit restless...she was really meant to be a mother, and her love for her kids is something i've taken in over the years and hopefully am emulating well.

Re: Positive spinoff on my thread: What did your parents do that you hope to do :)

To set a good example for them, especially regarding family and work ethics.

Be able to take them on vacation every year.

Pay for them to go to college.

Be able to go to every game, play, concert or whatever no matter how big or small their part is

Re: Positive spinoff on my thread: What did your parents do that you hope to do :)

Education. for all 6 of us, up to and including college. all private college/universities. I hope to give my kids the same, and I only have 2!!

Re: Positive spinoff on my thread: What did your parents do that you hope to do :)

OK the spinoff is much more up lifting!

My mom was the mom all my friends would go to to talk...about all the "stuff" you were uncomfortable talking to your own parents about.
I had the cool parents (well mom, dad worked alot)

My mom came from nothing (was a bad hair dresser)..went back to school when I was 12yrs old and become the top of her field
She became a strong independant women and I am quite proud...
I did get this from her already

Re: Positive spinoff on my thread: What did your parents do that you hope to do :)

I hope to instill the level of responsibility in my kids that my mom instilled in me.

I was just thinking about this today. I teach 3rd grade, and it is absolutely AMAZING to me how some of my kids, at 8 and 9 years old, are already neglecting to do homework, failing quizzes and not seeming to CARE! I mean, I have actually called parents to let them know what is going on with their child and there is NO follow-up at home! Why should the kid care if YOU don't?!?!

I was genuinely afraid of disappointing my mom. If I got a bad grade in school or if I got in trouble somehow, that actually SCARED me. Not that I ever hope to be scary to my children, but...I do hope that I can teach them to be responsible for their actions, and to teach them that only their best will be accepted as far as school goes.

And if a C or D in math is truly the best they can do, then that's ok, too. I failed math in 7th grade...but my mom saw how hard I had worked, how many times I had asked for help from my teacher...and that F was earned with blood, sweat and tears...if that makes any sense.

I waited until 18 years old to have sex (and it was with my future DH). And the biggest part of that situation...DH and I TALKED about it for about 4 months leading up to it. We analyzed every situation...what if I got pregnant? How would we handle it? How would we try out best to prevent it from happening? In all honesty, I acted the way I would want MY DD to act in that situation...wait for the right guy, THINK IT OVER FIRST, and be responsible about the decision.

Message edited 3/5/2011 12:23:18 AM.

Re: Positive spinoff on my thread: What did your parents do that you hope to do :)

My parents were very very "cool" with me...they would always tell me, you want to try to drink, tell us we don't want u driving or getting hurt, u want to try pot, tell us, they never threatened me with punishment etc if I ever did anything...and funny thing is I never tried drugs or anything. My parents were always really hard workers and my mom was always a MOM and a full time working career woman and I respect her for that immensely!!!

Re: Positive spinoff on my thread: What did your parents do that you hope to do :)

my parents were amazing and still are
they created the best childhood memories for me & we will do the same for dd (dh didnt have the same upbringing I did-so hopefully creat memories for him too)

Re: Positive spinoff on my thread: What did your parents do that you hope to do :)

They forgave us for whatever stupid thing we ever did, no matter how much money, time, or energy was lost. We always felt important to them. We took a lot of advantage of that, caused a lot of trouble. But that one fact alone has fascilitated a strong bong as adults with our parents, knowing that no matter what they did and what we did, our relationship is defined by how much we care and how much we feel cared for.

Re: Positive spinoff on my thread: What did your parents do that you hope to do :)

I want to take educational vacations all over the USA with them (well, her, for now). I loved our "America vacations" as I called them! DH has never been to any of the places we went as children and I know he'll love it too! I have such a great sense of our country from those trips.

I also want to encourage education and extra curriculars like my parents did My mom may have been (and still is) a pain, but she drove me anywhere at any time -- art class, chess lessons at the library, before school enrichment, debate tournaments (and she helped judge too). I appreciate that and hope to do it for our DC.

Re: Positive spinoff on my thread: What did your parents do that you hope to do :)

Very little - my parents were horrible parents, but they did two things I will do too:

1) Allow/downplay alcohol and junk food. It was never a big deal and never became one when I got older. Contrast this with my DH who was NEVER allowed to have soda or sugary cereal and drinks probably a gallon of diet pepsi a day. His brother is even worse. Even though my father was an alcoholic, I have a healthy relationship with alcohol and allow of that was because I was allowed to have a sip here and there - it was not a big deal.

2) Not put too much pressure on me to do well in school - I was always told I was doing it for ME - not for cash or prizes or because I had to or they'd love me any less - just for ME. Contrast this with my DH's family whose parents put so much pressure on them that two of their three kids would vomit before tests in college. DH's sister got the second highest grade in AP math or something like that and their mother's response was "who got first?" - talk about deflating! I could never imagine doing that. When DH and I were studying for the bar exam together, I got to experience it first hand and wow, they are stress-inducers. Yeah, I won't be doing that - my parents approach was less stressful and more effective!

Re: Positive spinoff on my thread: What did your parents do that you hope to do :)

My mom told me she loved me all the time. I never doubted that home was a safe place to be and that she loved me more than anything in the world. I was her number 1 priority and felt it. She died when I was 10 and that is probably the most lasting gift she gave me. It was the most amazing day ever when DS told me he loved me... we tell each other several times a day and I hope that never stops! My dad, as non-emotional as he was at time, also never let a day go by without telling me he loved me. By the time I went away to college, we were at each others throats, but still talked every day and always told each other we loved each other. He died suddenly when I was 24 and a few hours before he died, we had a quick conversation on the phone and of course... it ended with "Love you."