Possible behavioral issues with my 3 year old DD? VERY LONG

Where do I even start with my 3yo DD. She is my only child (if you didn't know that already.) I am a FTWM- actually, I work 2 jobs. DD goes to daycare FT M-F. When I work my 2nd job on the weekends, DD is ALWAYS with DH- who is very attentive with her- plays with her, takes her places, etc. My 2nd job is my own business- and I am trying to build it up, so I can be busy at times, but I always always make time for her and try not to make my schedule too crazy.

Recently (say in the past 6-8 weeks) she's been getting into trouble at school. Her teachers describe her behavior as disruptive. She either does not pay attention when she should be (like during circle time or personal reading time)- or riles the other kids up (yesterday she started riling the other kids up during afternoon snack- apparently she was screetching and then other kids started in on it as well.)

On the flip side, she has been complaining at home that no one wants to play with her at school (this breaks my heart.) I personally feel that she would rather play with the boys (even though she is ultra girly), but the boys don't want to play with her because she is a girl. She has said that some of the girls tell her that they don't want her to play with them (this has been an issue and I've brought it up to the teachers already.)

She is EXTREMELY bright- very inquisitive and picks up on things that I never thought a 3yr old could ever pick up on.

At home, she plays fine by herself. She does sometimes have a hard time listening at home. She will do whatever she wants to do sometimes, regardless of how many times I ask her to stop.

The other thing is she keeps having accidents at home. She will get all the way to the potty and then pee in her pants. She rarely has an accident at school. She's been potty trained for about 5 months- but I don't get the accidents at home, but not at school.

Is this normal 3yo behavior? Or something more? If you made it this far, thank you. I'm at a total loss and I don't even know where to begin!

Re: Possible behavioral issues with my 3 year old DD? VERY LONG

It may have to do with her wanting attention..

My dd (4) went through something similar.. I think it was a mix of age appropriate behavior coupled with some things going on in the household that affected her behavior.

Although she is the middle child, she is my strongest child out of my 3.. My oldest (s) gets attention because he is the soft one and sensitive.. and the youngest (2) gets attention because she is the "baby" so oftentimes, that leaves DD feeling left out. :( I went from being a SAHM for a few years to going back to work, us moving, me divorcing all in a short period of time and that was a big adjustment for her (for all of them but hers was the most obvious)..she started wetting her pants during the day (wouldn't make it to the potty in time) or at night.. mind you, she's been PT since she was 18 months old!

Maybe try and set some time for you and her.. remember, with kids it's quality over quantity.. so even if it's 30 minutes to sit and have tea or read her a book or just making the most of whatever time you have with her where you make her feel ultra special (not that you don't but you know what I mean), it'll help her..

I hope she's back to herself in no time!

Re: Possible behavioral issues with my 3 year old DD? VERY LONG

You know that I have similar dealings with Luca and here is what the Dr. said. He said that it's pretty normal for kids to give their parents a hard time. When they start giving teachers/authority figures a hard time there may be some behavioral issues at hand. The key word being "may." They could also just be really strong willed killed. That being said, I went ahead and called my insurance company. I explained the situation and that I was looking for a bahavioralist specializes in young children and they gave me a list of local Drs. I put one call in, never got called back. So I plan on trying another Dr. I don't think DS is so terrible, but I do think there may be a better way for me to deal with him that can possibly get me a better response from him. I also want him better prepared for kindregarten. I feel like right now he will have a hard time transitioning to a loger day and just more expectations of him. I figure, better to help him learn/cope now then later.

Re: Possible behavioral issues with my 3 year old DD? VERY LONG

My DD is also 3. She hasn't had an accident at school in months, but home is an entirely different story. I think it's the age.

Re: Possible behavioral issues with my 3 year old DD? VERY LONG

DS is 3. He has so many accidents at home but not at school. His teacher told us to talk to her if they say other kids don't want to play with them. She said they make stuff up at this age or perceive things differently.

Re: Possible behavioral issues with my 3 year old DD? VERY LONG

Liz - do you think this has something to do with your husbands accident? It seems that is right around the same time?

Re: Possible behavioral issues with my 3 year old DD? VERY LONG

Has there been a change in her school? Maybe a different teacher or her teacher has been absent a lot in her school? Usually chlildren start to act out when there has been some kind of change. The change can be due to home or at school.

Re: Possible behavioral issues with my 3 year old DD? VERY LONG

she is only 3 , in my mind still a baby (sort of!) I don't know, my 2 year 4 Month old will not sit in a circle, he really doesn't listen and likes to do his own thing his own way. he is very smart but extremely stubborn. I would hate to think of it as behavioral issue, more that he is very strong willed. my family is always advising me on what to do w/ him, nothing works. I always tell DH I feel bad for his teachers when he starts school and that we will be getting a lot of phone calls. Not sure about accidents bc he hasn't been potty trained yet.

Re: Possible behavioral issues with my 3 year old DD? VERY LONG

Re: Possible behavioral issues with my 3 year old DD? VERY LONG

Re: Possible behavioral issues with my 3 year old DD? VERY LONG

Just wanted to send you some

Re: Possible behavioral issues with my 3 year old DD? VERY LONG

Re: Possible behavioral issues with my 3 year old DD? VERY LONG

I think at school maybe she is acting out trying to get attention from the other kids since she says they don't want to play with her. Similiar to when T first joined the pre-k room and was doing silly things to try and impress the big kids.

At home, the accidents may be a call for attention too... But could also be a phase.

As other posters suggested, try setting some special Mommy and K time together as much as possilble.