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clwp
Love my girls!
Member since 10/06 2114 total posts
Name:
mommy
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Possible daycare hiatus (sp?)... no comments really necessary - thread is done!
My pregnancy can't afford to be any more stressed out... LOL
My comapany downsized and I found out this week that in January I, among hundreds of others, will not have a job with them (I was a contracted employee so there's no severance pkg). DD has been thriving at daycare and it breaks my heart to take her out but I have no idea how long I'll be without work and it's too expensive to sustain. Any ideas to keep an infant stimulated to the extent that they do? They told me that she loves finger painting and showed me some of the developmental stuff they do. Between doing all that they do and actively looking for a job, I'm a bit overwhelmed. I've heard mixed reviews about things like gymboree (I want her to continue to develop social stimulation) thought about doing some mommy and me things for baby's her age (8 months in January) and could use insight from other mom's that may have even had a similar situation where they had to pull their child out for a period of time. I want to do whatever I can to ensure that she continues to be ahead of schedule - which she is on most things and secondly I want to do what I can to ensure that when she ultimately does go back to daycare she won't have all sorts of attachment issues to me. It's been bugging me... especially since this morning when I dropped her off she just went right for one of her teachers with a big smile, started playing with toys and I had to get her attention to kiss her goodbye... she's very good about being dropped off... I remember being horrible at that when I was 5 y.o. in kindergarten b/c my silly mother didn't believe in preschool or any other sort of very early child education. If I won the lottery and never had to work again, DD would continue at daycare... I LOVE the program and I love how well she has acclimated. I see older babies that cry all day when they start at 6 or 7 months old for about a week or some even longer, since she started at 13 weeks old, it's never been an issue. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I was thinking of asking other people to spend time with her so she continues to be comfortable around different people without me in the immediate area.
Message edited 12/11/2008 8:27:01 AM.
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Posted 12/10/08 4:09 PM  |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Possible daycare hiatus (sp?)... could use advice
honestly, she sounds easy going, so I think she will always be easy going.
At 5, I went to kindergarden, no tears, just like the rest of my brothers and sisters. It was the first time away from my mother. I did not like kindergarden , but I did not cry.
As a sahm, I have a different perspective. I know my kid isn't going to cry for me...he never does unless I am the one walking out the door and he's left at home. We are at the park, library classes, playdates, storytimes.
We finger paint and do crafts.
I think kids go through stages, if she is going to have seperation anxiety, she will have it in daycare or at home.
good luck!
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| Posted 12/10/08 4:27 PM |
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clwp
Love my girls!
Member since 10/06 2114 total posts
Name:
mommy
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Re: Possible daycare hiatus (sp?)... could use advice
My experience is a little different... I screamed bloody murder when my SAHMommy left me... for 2 years!!! Up until 2nd grade when I had a teacher with a clue. Anyway, whole other issue. DH said he also got very emotional when his mother left him in the early years of school. If I were a SAHM I'd personally still want her to be in a formal education setting, but it's just perspective... if you asked me 9 months ago my thoughts on daycare, I'd say I would never put my child in daycare... now I think every one of MY children should be in daycare (is that better?)... I know many won't agree with that, but I've just seen the differences between the kids I know in daycare and my SAHM friends who's kids don't do things like this... not to mention the kids I taught gymnastics to in the mommy and me class. I'm trying not to be "judgemental" here, but it's my preference, other's can have their's. Sorry, I just know how these boards get and I know I'll insult someone... so again, this is what is best for me and DD and I hate taking her out and want to do what is best for her in this lousy situation.
On the other hand, maybe her personality is a little more laid back. I just love all that she is learning and with my looking for a job I'm overwhelmed with trying to do all the things they do with her and still search for a job. Finger painting while talking to recruiters and hiring managers???? Doesn't sound like a good mix - LOL
Message edited 12/11/2008 8:26:08 AM.
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| Posted 12/10/08 4:37 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Possible daycare hiatus (sp?)... could use advice
you are right, I don't agree at all with your statements. I was just trying to be supportive.
good luck!
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| Posted 12/10/08 4:39 PM |
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clwp
Love my girls!
Member since 10/06 2114 total posts
Name:
mommy
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Re: Possible daycare hiatus (sp?)... could use advice
Thank you.
Now for other mom's who do believe in the benefits in daycare/early childhood learning centers who may have been in my situation... I would love to know how you would or have handled such a situation. I want to keep her socially stimulated and also continue her path of development.
Speaking of good luck... I had a very successful phone interview today and a f 2 f interview being set up for next week... this may not even end up being an issue... if that pans out I'll be re-employed 2 days after this contract officially ends and there will be no break in DD's excellent daycare situation.
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| Posted 12/10/08 5:17 PM |
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BigB
C & J are 10!
Member since 6/05 5914 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: Possible daycare hiatus (sp?)... could use advice
As a formal early child educator, I believe that parents are their child's first teacher. If you are engaging your child by reading, imaginative play, crafts, and physical activity, the only difference between you and day care are other children.
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| Posted 12/10/08 6:10 PM |
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steph4777
**************
Member since 5/05 11726 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Possible daycare hiatus (sp?)... could use advice
I'm sure you're dealing with a lot right now in trying to figure out how to plan for January. I honestly don't think that your DD will be trumatized if she didn't go to daycare for a little while. In the event you don't have another job lined up, I'm sure you'll manage. As Janice mentioned, there are things you can do as a SAHM to help your child continue to thrive. I honestly don't think whether a kid is in daycare or at home with mom, makes a difference in how they will react when they go to school. I truly believe it depends on the child and their temperament.
I did have to pull DS#1 out of daycare once after I got laid off and he was fine. When I needed to go on an interview, my ILs would watch him. In those few months that he wasn't in daycare, never once did I think he was going to fall behind. Even though I work, his learning doesn't stop when we pick him up from daycare. If I was in the situation where I had to take him out, I'd just do some of the same stuff that we do on weekends and other activities.
I hope everything pans out for you and you won't have to take DD out. 
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| Posted 12/10/08 6:23 PM |
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CkGm
They get so big, so fast :(
Member since 5/05 13848 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Possible daycare hiatus (sp?)... could use advice
Posted by BigB
As a formal early child educator, I believe that parents are their child's first teacher. If you are engaging your child by reading, imaginative play, crafts, and physical activity, the only difference between you and day care are other children.
ITA- and my DD is stopping day care once I go on Maternity leave and I did find her a part time preschool a couple of mornings a week to go to in order to get the stimulation of being around other kids and give me time to bond with the new baby. But if we couldn't swing that financially, I don't see how she would not thrive being home with me too.
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| Posted 12/10/08 6:26 PM |
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EmmaNick
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Member since 12/06 16001 total posts
Name:
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Re: Possible daycare hiatus (sp?)... could use advice
Posted by BigB
As a formal early child educator, I believe that parents are their child's first teacher. If you are engaging your child by reading, imaginative play, crafts, and physical activity, the only difference between you and day care are other children.
Exactly. I'm a little surprised that someone would say every child *needs* daycare. I think every child *needs* socialization and some structured time, but I don't think that needs to come from daycare. There are many "separation" programs out there, library programs, etc. that have fantastic benefits. Even if one doesn't utilize those programs, their children still can (and do) thrive being home.
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| Posted 12/10/08 6:30 PM |
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annie
This is how I play basketball!
Member since 6/05 1980 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Possible daycare hiatus (sp?)... could use advice
How old is your child? Can you do part-time at your daycare? I'm due with DD #2 in February and I'll be home for 7 months. I'm keeping DD #1 in daycare for similar reasons as you expressed (& to give me time alone with the new baby). She'll be in two (maybe 3 if we can swing it) days a week. I'm also a member of a moms club in my neighborhood that has playgroups weekly and other activities. We'll be going to the library for storytime. It seems to be harder in the winter to find activities though. Good luck & let us know what happens.
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| Posted 12/10/08 7:23 PM |
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clwp
Love my girls!
Member since 10/06 2114 total posts
Name:
mommy
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Re: Possible daycare hiatus (sp?)... could use advice
Posted by Summerrluvv
Posted by BigB
As a formal early child educator, I believe that parents are their child's first teacher. If you are engaging your child by reading, imaginative play, crafts, and physical activity, the only difference between you and day care are other children.
Exactly. I'm a little surprised that someone would say every child *needs* daycare. I think every child *needs* socialization and some structured time, but I don't think that needs to come from daycare. There are many "separation" programs out there, library programs, etc. that have fantastic benefits. Even if one doesn't utilize those programs, their children still can (and do) thrive being home.
Okay, let me clarify several things, b/c like usual on this site... this got a bit out of hand and misunderstood. I just hate the daycare bashing I hear every day of my life... you know- like I said, once upon a time I didn't think it would be for me... I judged the heck out of it and the mom's who used it. Then I actually went to Tutor Time and saw what goes on (at least at the one I use). I have to say as a former educator and coach of toddlers, I was impressed. You also have to understand that my friends (and maybe my friends are just idiots) that do stay home, do little to stimulate their kids. One actually places her's in front of the TV and swears that her kids are advanced, however if you walk into their home, they don't even look at you b/c they are mesmerized by the boob-tube. No social skills, speaking delayed, etc. That's NOT to say that every SAHM does that. My point was, and to be honest I have a cousin that shares my views on daycare, that even if I had all the money in the world and never had to work again, I feel that the socialization and learning environment of my DD's program (which mind you is not cheap) is worth her being there even if just a few hours. One must also bare in mind that even when I was working, I have unique hours. Trust me, I wouldn't have left my kid with anyone for my old job - a $50k 9-5 office job. My new type of work is much different and totally would not make sense to leave. I also do NOT have family as back up to watch DD - DH will have to take off from work when I have interviews. Fortunately he too has a flex schedule.
I apologize to those who took my wording the wrong way... you have to realize that I have to deal with "judgement" every day... people look at me cross eyed daily when I say my infant is in daycare... personally, she's so much better off in my personal situation (my mom's a smoker and my MIL is clinically depressed - would you leave your child with either scenerio? I wouldn't!). I hate when people bash it to the point that when they ask me for photos of the baby I show them a pic of her finger painting at daycare with a huge smile accross her face. To say it's not for all kids isn't really fair either... it's right for those who choose to use it. My program costs me almost $20k a year... so to knock it is to not know it. I also get treated by the same SAHM friends like I'm less of a mother b/c I don't spend every moment of my life with my DC - however, they will leave thier kid to go out with their hubby's or friends, while I pass up many social opps on the weekends to spend the time with DD. I love my DD to pieces, but I like what she gets out of the program. The debate is never ending about how much or little it impacts them in required school, but I like that she's such a structured and social setting.
My original point had nothing to do with the debate of working vs. not working mom's. My concerns center mostly around maintaining the level of socialization she is used to, stimulating her intellectually when there will still be demands placed on me with no childcare alternative and finally, what I can do to ensure a smooth transition back when she ultimately DOES go back. A $20k a year program is a little tough to maintain when you are without a job. If I could, trust me, she'd continue despite the lay off.
Again, hopefully this will all be for nothing b/c I have several viable leads lined up.
Edited to add: Thank you Annie... your post was very valuable and sounds like you can relate. I did look into my public library - a brand new huge one in fact. The web site didn't seem to have much for an 8 month old, and I didn't see a story time, but I may go down in person and inquire. I may also try having her spend time with a variety of people while I do quick chores while I am reachable... during an interview I am obviously not reachable, so she is best in the care of DH. Unfortunately our's doesn't offer a part time daycare program for their infant program... believe me, based on my work hours I would have signed up for that upfront, she's never there more than 5 or 6 hours a day between DH and I. I may even have one of her teachers come over to babysit from time to time so that her face continues to be familiar so when she does go back, even though she'll be moved up to a new room, maybe that teacher can stop in to visit with her until she gets reacclimated.
Message edited 12/10/2008 9:15:46 PM.
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| Posted 12/10/08 9:05 PM |
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EmmaNick
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Member since 12/06 16001 total posts
Name:
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Re: Possible daycare hiatus (sp?)... could use advice
I don't see anyone bashing daycare on this site. Obviously your personal experience with the children of your SAH friends isn't the norm of all children that stay home with their parent(s). My children were in daycare and have nothing against it.
You can't expect to post "I think every child should be in daycare" and not expect anyone to disagree with you.
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| Posted 12/10/08 9:34 PM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
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Re: Possible daycare hiatus (sp?)... could use advice
Posted by clwp
Okay, let me clarify several things, b/c like usual on this site... this got a bit out of hand and misunderstood.
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Honestly. Nothing got out of hand or misunderstood at all. You asked for advice, people gave it. Janice gave you ideas of things to do at home with her and you just want someone to agree with you.
My DS was in daycare, and now he is not and he probably won't be in a "structured" program or class again for another 8 months, but he has plenty of interaction and has no problem acclimating to new situations.
I think you need to chill out a little, you are really overanalyzing this. Enjoy your time with your DD
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| Posted 12/10/08 9:42 PM |
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Re: Possible daycare hiatus (sp?)... could use advice
I don't think there's anything wrong with daycare either. DD#2 will be going when she is 13 months old (I took the year off to be with her).
DD#1 didn't go to daycare. She had a babysitter for 2 years and started a part time program (3 days / week for 2 hours a day) at 2.5 years old...that's when I see a program being extremely important to help develop social and academic skills. As your DC gets older I could see you definitely being concerned, but right now I'm sure they will be okay with smaller playgroups (mommy and me).
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| Posted 12/10/08 9:43 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Possible daycare hiatus (sp?)... could use advice
Like a PP stated, there are lots of different type programs you can do with DD, some you pay for and others are free. Story time is offered at many libraries as well as Barnes and Noble. Even if your library doesn't offer an organized story time, they may have a very nice children's section where you can certainly kill some time and have her see other children. We did Music Together over the summer and it's a really nice program. DS is a more active kid, so I found that gym class works better for him. As for things you can do at home, you can play with bubbles, do arts and crafts, have your own story time, etc... And there's also nothing wrong with a little down time too. Your DD doesn't need to be occupied all of her waking hours with interaction. You want to give her the chance to play by herself and learn to entertain herself.
I am a part time SAHM and I try to balance all of those things. And let me tell you, staying at home is not a breeze, as you will soon learn. I have certainly put DS in front of the TV while I wash dishes, do laundry or take a shower. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do. And I don't feel ashamed or like I'm selling my kid short for it.
And I just have to let you know, you were quick to say that people judge you for having DD in daycare, but you are quick to pass judgement as well. I'd be a little careful of that.
Message edited 12/10/2008 9:54:12 PM.
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| Posted 12/10/08 9:53 PM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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Re: Possible daycare hiatus (sp?)... could use advice
I have no advice..
AJ just started two weeks ago in Daycare and she's a little under 4months herself.
I agree that I do love the daycare she's at and all that she is exposed to and learning, so I understand you there.
Im also the breadwinner here at home and have been laid off twice in three years. AND my office is talking layoffs now too! So I feel you there too.
Unfortunatley, I have no ILs to pick up the slack if I get laid off and had to do interviews so the stress would unbearable. In a way, I should thank you, because you're making me think how can *I* maintain daycare if I lose *MY* job.
But I want to wish you good luck with your job hunting. I know its probably the best case scenario that you get a replacement job for a seamless transition. I also applaud you for thinking ahead on all angles for your DD care too!
Good Luck! 
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| Posted 12/10/08 10:05 PM |
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clwp
Love my girls!
Member since 10/06 2114 total posts
Name:
mommy
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Re: Possible daycare hiatus (sp?)... could use advice
Posted by Xelindrya
I have no advice..
AJ just started two weeks ago in Daycare and she's a little under 4months herself.
I agree that I do love the daycare she's at and all that she is exposed to and learning, so I understand you there.
Im also the breadwinner here at home and have been laid off twice in three years. AND my office is talking layoffs now too! So I feel you there too.
Unfortunatley, I have no ILs to pick up the slack if I get laid off and had to do interviews so the stress would unbearable. In a way, I should thank you, because you're making me think how can *I* maintain daycare if I lose *MY* job.
But I want to wish you good luck with your job hunting. I know its probably the best case scenario that you get a replacement job for a seamless transition. I also applaud you for thinking ahead on all angles for your DD care too!
Good Luck!
And I'd like to thank you for your kind words and support and any others who were kind... to those that may not know (or obviously care), in addition to all that I mentioned I am going through... I'm also 6 weeks pregnant in a high risk pregnancy. I apologize if I offended anyone and I would hate to go back and edit something since that tends to get nasty comments too and no one is going to go back and apologize to me either, but I do think daycare is a healthy scenerio, not an unhealthy one is my point, but everyone has to bring up the bad side. Actually my point had nothing to do with whether it's good or bad, but what I can do to ease DD's transitions... a point that consistently is overlooked. I sooo did not pass judgement by saying daycare (the one I use) is beneficial to children. I honestly don't care what other people do. I'm by far not the breadwinner, but the perks of my position and the flexibility made no sense for me to leave and my money goes to DD... her trust fund, her college fund, etc. Not to mention that it'd be next to impossible to get back into what I do if I took time off... advice given to me from women who have in my field. Nuff said!!!
Anyway, can we drop that part for now since again I have no interest in debating this topic, I'm entitled to my feelings about appreciating the early education scenerio as much as others may not feel that way... I appreciate the kind supportive words and again, my pregnancy is high risk and my chances of m/c are higher than normal and we all know the chances are greater in the first 12 weeks to begin with. I really can't afford to be made any more upset than I already am. I will just have to skim past the negative comments anyway so as to keep my sanity and do what is best for my infant and my unborn baby.
Thank you and God bless. Let's put this thread to bed and if you are a daycare mom with kind words to share and ideas... please feel free to fm me... if not then I'd appreciate just passing this by... I'm going to speak with daycare directly about what I can do anyway. I will refrain from posting questions of the contraversial nature in the future and just stick with "which x-mas card do you like better" stuff. Peace and Happy Holidays!
Message edited 12/11/2008 8:24:47 AM.
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| Posted 12/11/08 8:19 AM |
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