Possibly controversial / sensitive... Is anyone semi-dreading being home after the baby's born? (semi-long)

DH and I agreed that I would stay home for 4.5 mos after the baby comes (due Feb 19, go back to work July 1) as we'll be using daycare and we're both more comfortable with putting an almost 5month old in there. I've been nervous about this for a while as I am NOT a hang out at home kind of person.

So, I've been sick all week and worked from home yesterday. For one day. While sick. And I was CLIMBING UP THE WALLS by the end of the day! I still feel just as badly today but I'm at work because I couldn't stomach the idea of staying home again. I mean, I like my job and all but it's not that I'm addicted to it or anything - I just don't like being home all day.

I'm afraid that this makes me a bad mommy-to-be but I honestly don't know how I can possibly be home for 4.5 mos It feels like a punishment at this point when I know - I really do KNOW - that I'm lucky enough that we can do it.

Please tell me someone else has these same thoughts

Message edited 10/4/2007 10:30:19 AM.

Re: Possibly controversial / sensitive... Is anyone semi-dreading being home after the baby's born? (semi-long)

I honestly wish I could stay home longer then I can (either 6 or 12 weeks). I don't think you feelings are bad. It is normal. You will be so busy with you little one that you will be fine.

Re: Possibly controversial / sensitive... Is anyone semi-dreading being home after the baby's born? (semi-long)

At times I feel the same way. I wil also be home for a little over 3 months and wonder how I will deal.
But I think once the baby is here and I am precoccupied with him and all the new mommy duties I will be fine. I am sure being home sick and bored will be quite different than being home with a newborn. Hang in there.
I am sure everything will work out.

Re: Possibly controversial / sensitive... Is anyone semi-dreading being home after the baby's born? (semi-long)

I guess I'm sorta a BTDT mommy. I was afraid of the same thing when I was PG. I've been home with DD for over 10 months now and honestly there are days I feel like climbing the walls and miss working (just for the social aspect - I never LOVED my job). The winter was especially bad. But overall I am so busy with DD, it's not that bad. I love it most of the time.

Re: Possibly controversial / sensitive... Is anyone semi-dreading being home after the baby's born? (semi-long)

I never thought I could do it either but your days go pretty fast taking care of a baby! And you don't have to stay home, go out!!!

Re: Possibly controversial / sensitive... Is anyone semi-dreading being home after the baby's born? (semi-long)

Im home now on maternity leave, and thought i would go nuts, but the baby keeps me busy and i love her so much. Now i dread going back and leaving her. DH and I decided i will only be going back 3 days a week, b/c we dont have anyone to watch her fulltime and we are not comfortable with the daycare idea this young.

Try not to worry about it now, since you have a few months until dc will be born, just enjoy your pregnancy and see how you feel when the time comes. Your feelings may change once you see your child (which i would bet money on).

Re: Possibly controversial / sensitive... Is anyone semi-dreading being home after the baby's born? (semi-long)

I've had the same concerns and after starting my maternity leave 1 week ago (still waiting for baby), they've intensified as I'm climbing the walls. I think when the baby comes though it will occupy the time and I plan to enjoy it to its fullest knowing that it will end at a certain date. To get me more psyched for it, I am planning different little projects and to get out as much as possible (even though every BTDT mom enjoys telling me I wont and that freaks me out but I also dont think anyone can tell ME how I'm going to be but this could be a whole other post...) I think it may make me appreciate my job more and make the transition to leaving my baby with a nanny just a little easier knowing I'll be a better mommy working outside the home. I dont think it makes you a bad mommy for feeling that way and I think there's plenty of others who do too

Re: Possibly controversial / sensitive... Is anyone semi-dreading being home after the baby's born? (semi-long)

Just because you will be at home with the baby doesn't mean you will be at home. You can make your schedule as busy as you want it to be. Join Mommy & Me, Gymboree, library classes which are free, etc. You will meet lots of other moms and dads and end up making plans together.

Also, once the baby comes, you will be surprised at how quickly some days pass. Being home with a newborn isn't quite the same as being home while sick.

I do think that if you don't make yourself get out and do things, you will feel trapped. And, you will have to remember to do some things for just you.

Re: Possibly controversial / sensitive... Is anyone semi-dreading being home after the baby's born? (semi-long)

Definitely does not make you a bad mommy!

My BF is the same way. She just had her DD this past summer. As soon as she felt well enough to walk again (she had some tearing/stitches), she was up and walking around the city with her baby. She also had a babysitter come 2x per week for 3 hours so that she could get out of the apt. and either shop or go to the gym. I also met her for lunch in the park by her apt. She said all of that resolved her cabin fever woes. HTH!

Re: Possibly controversial / sensitive... Is anyone semi-dreading being home after the baby's born? (semi-long)

I do know that being sick for a day is different from being with a newborn for a day but I was working from home - literally working, 9-5, stopped for about 15 min to have lunch, so I was completely busy yesterday and still felt like this. I'm hoping everyone's right and that with an infant my days will go by so quickly I won't even realize.

Re: Possibly controversial / sensitive... Is anyone semi-dreading being home after the baby's born? (semi-long)

Re: Possibly controversial / sensitive... Is anyone semi-dreading being home after the baby's born? (semi-long)

Eileen, I was honestly the same way...and I still am. I knew I could not be a SAHM. I went back to work at 10 weeks. During those 10 weeks I really struggled with being home 24/7 with Sydney. I made sure I left the house everyday whether it was to the mall or just for a walk in my neighborhood.

I would also use the bjorn alot so that I could do stuff and still hold her.

Now I actually wish I appreciated that time that I had more as they will never be at that stage again. I was worried then about holding her too much and whether that would create a spoiled child. Now I wish she wanted to be held at all...she only wants to when she is sick.

It goes really fast so try and enjoy it and appreciate that this is probably the only couple of months that you will get off of work ever!

Re: Possibly controversial / sensitive... Is anyone semi-dreading being home after the baby's born? (semi-long)

I wasn't a hang out at home person, and I had 13 months off. I started going to babygroupe and activities EVERY DAY when Noah was 7 weeks old, Baby Massage, baby play groups, babysign...anything I could find that was out there. I met loads of girls and had a gret time. Just enjoy the time off and find some activities!

Re: Possibly controversial / sensitive... Is anyone semi-dreading being home after the baby's born? (semi-long)

No I'm not dreading it at all.

I have had periods of time when I wasn't working and I have to say I didn't get bored nor did it drive me crazy. I did other things with my time to occupy my day and with a baby, I'm sure there will always be things to do.

Dont' worry, though. You are not a bad person to feel the way that you do.

Re: Possibly controversial / sensitive... Is anyone semi-dreading being home after the baby's born? (semi-long)

You are not alone. I babysat my 2 month old niece for one week and thought I would completely lose my mind. I felt completely trapped and that fear swells inside every once in a while. I keep reminding myself that this will be my child, and there are things that I will do that I wouldn't with my sister's DD.

Re: Possibly controversial / sensitive... Is anyone semi-dreading being home after the baby's born? (semi-long)

Thank you!! I'm having a rough day today so it's really great of you all to share your experiences with me and make me feel like I'm not alone in this.