Potty training woes

So DD will be 3 & 1/2 in September. She is nowhere's near trained. That being said. She decided on monday that she wanted her panties back. So we took this as a good sign. It went well to start out and now we are back to where we were before. She throws tantrums when you tell her she has to go potty. How do I deal with this? I can't drag her everytime she need to go. That is no way to do this. I am at a loss and looking for advice. Any is welcome! I feel like the biggest potty training failure.

The only time she will go willingly is if she wants to do something. For example, she wanted to go to the supermarket with DH last night and I told her she needed to go potty first. Without any problems, she happily ran and went. But many times during the day, if she doesn't want to go, she throws an all out tantrum. What do I do? I never imagined this would be so hard!

Re: Potty training woes

Here is what has worked for us.

First I would recommend some kind of reward system. This is a very specific to child thing because children get reinforced by different things. Some ideas are stickers, m&ms, prize box. Loads of verbal praise IN ADDITION to physical prize.

Second emphasize that pee pee and poop belong in the potty. If she has an accident, dont over react. Actually, dont react at all. Just put the poop in the potty and say "poop goes in potty". When she does go potty emphasize "oh good girl...you put poop/pee in the potty! Thats where it belongs". I used to ask DS then "does pee go in our pants?" and he would say "no, it goes in potty". If you are giving attention to the tantrums then she will continue to tantrum...ignore, ignore, ignore! Positive or negative...kids are attention whores! LOL

If DC wont go willingly, try letting her go commando from the waist down. This is what triggered potty training for DS. He had an accident and he saw where it came from. He actually stopped himself, ran to me and told me he had to go potty. After that, we were out of diapers for good, but then I still continued to let him go bottomless for a while after.

Keep a small potty in the play room or any other place where she spends her time. Some times kids get so distracted or they just dont want to stop what they are doing to potty. This is a good way of meeting your child halfway IMO.

Let her pick out her "big girl underpants". Show her your big girl underpants (kids want to be part of the group and do what you do). Once you give her the underpants though, dont go back. No diapers, no pull ups.

With many of the suggestions EXPECT ACCIDENTS...handle it in stride. Its part of learning and they do stop.

Keep in mind that potty training, like walking, talking, etc is a milestone. Dont get stressed. Kids do it on their time schedule...no one elses. There is a lot of emphasis these days on potty training early. If she is ligitimately ready though, just be patient and approach this with confidence. If you do, she will pick up on that and be successful.

Most importantly, everyone must be on board. Meaning, everyone must understand that a long car trip right now may not be in the plans. If you decide that going bottomless is the way to go (I suggest you try it for a few days), going out will not be possible. All caretakers must be on board for frequent potty breaks and be ready to dish out a lot of praise for good pottying, know the reainforcement schedule, and be prepared to ignore tantrums and be indifferent to accidents.

HTH



ETA: Let me know how it works out for you. If you have any questions, I am by far, not an expert, but have felt the pressure before and will help any way I can.

Message edited 8/3/2012 10:35:37 PM.

Re: Potty training woes

Thanks so much for responding! After my meltdown yesterday I did a littlre research on training an older child. And I implemented 2 of the things that I read about.....1) let her be in charge of going. Tell her that when she needs to go she can just go. I am not asking her anymore. 2) If you make pee-pee in your panties, you have to clean up yourself. I am not changing you anymore.

And wouldn't you know it....she went poop all be herself last night. She went missing and by the time we realized she was gone, she was running down the hall yelling "I made poopy!" I was so excited I nearly cried! And today she has been going pee-pee all on her own. She gets a little wet, but I know that she is just waiting too long and it's all part of the process. I am so stinkin proud of my little girl. Someone finally turned the light on at the end of the tunnel! And we are heading towards it!

Re: Potty training woes

Yay!!!!


That's awesome!

Re: Potty training woes

DS has the same reaction when I tell him it's time to go. He will be 4 in September. I am willing to try anything at this point. My only problem about letting him go bottomless around the house is his hands are magnetic straight to his penis and he tells me how big it gets Also, should I make him clean up the mess. When he wets his pants he tells me he wants to stay wet. Any help is greatly appreciated.

Potty training woes

3 day potty training worked for us my DD is a little over 3

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Message edited 8/5/2012 10:24:10 PM.

Re: Potty training woes

My DD was over 3 when she was trained, and when she finally decided to do it after a year of training terror, she was trained in a day. For her, we totally got too emotionally invested in the situation and made it worse for her when she just wasn't ready. What finally did it for her was that her new babysitter has two older girls and Hailey wants to be like them, so she wanted to use the potty like them. Also, the potty training sticker chart - I got it on Amazon -- helped a lot too. Good luck -- I can totally empathize with your situation!