Pregnancy and mental health

For the most part I am a very rational person. I work as a psychologist/ behavior specialist and spend my days working with others to modify their behaviors, including desensitization to fears. However, the past 2 weeks or so, I have had an absolute extreme fear of giving birth, like extreme to the point that I am in denial it will happen. In addition I am terrified of an induction, c-section, something going wrong etc. then there are other things that have begun to build up, like what if one of the babies is allergic to the dog? There is no way I can give her up, she would die of a broken heart and I could never forgive myself. Or the fears of what happens if we have a major financial issue one day, how will I manage, or how will I manage working (I have no choice). It's a combination of everything and it's been keeping me up at night and I spend a good 4-5 hours days just completely consumed with being terrified of being a parent. Is this normal? Do I bring this up at my appointment next week?

Pregnancy and mental health

Normal. At least I think it is. I constantly worried while I was pregnant. Now I worry about other things. Being a parent means worry. There is no way around it.

Re: Pregnancy and mental health

I think it's normal... to a point. If it starts interfering in your day to day life, I'd speak to a doctor about it.

But those things all terrified me, too, when I was pregnant. We bought a house while I was about 5 months pregnant and I'm still scared about how we can afford it. Somehow, we make it work- maybe not always to the best of our ability (we've all but depleted our savings) but we've got a roof over our heads and food in our bellies.

As for giving birth, I have always been terrified of doctors/hospitals/needles/dentists, basically anything and everything medical. The thought of IVs and epidurals scared me to bits. But once you're in it, it goes away, or at least takes a back seat. You do what you have to do to get your babies into this world safely. And once it's all said and done, you're going to walk out of that hospital feeling like a damn super hero, I promise you.

Re: Pregnancy and mental health

I am a psychologist- Specifically, a behavior analyst so I would think our theoretical orientations are pretty in line. I have been following your story on here from the beginning.
My best advice to you is to definitely talk to your doctor about your feelings. Regardless of whether they are "normal" it couldn't hurt to speak to someone who can help you recognize where your fears originate.
Being a first time pregnant can be terrifying. Your life is about to change and to battle all of those changes is not easy.

Sadly for your situation there really isn't much of a desensitization plan to be written. It's more about finding the function of your fear and learning ways to cope from there.

Good Luck!

Pregnancy and mental health

is there something in your work life, a client perhaps that is a trigger for you.

Yes, many women fear L&D, and all the what if's. In any medical situation, this time you as the patient will have no control and that is very scary

I think its normal to be worried, not to be consumed hours on end everyday, that is anxiety.

I think you should bring it up to your Dr, and consider going to a few therapy sessions yourself.

Message edited 10/12/2016 4:57:41 PM.

Re: Pregnancy and mental health

Normal to a certain degree, but it sounds like it's getting more to the extreme end. I think it's worth bringing it up to your OB and probably talking to a therapist. It's best to decrease your stress as much as possible! Hang in there, it will all work out!

Re: Pregnancy and mental health

Pregnancy and mental health

Thank you all for the advice! It's good to know I am not the only one who has felt this way! I talked to DH last night about how I am feeling- he's been extremely supportive while I'm pregnant and picked up any slack around the house. He truly has been awesome with being helpful and whatnot. I have my 24 week appointment Tuesday so I plan to talk to the doctor then. Some days it's all day long, other days I'm so busy that it doesn't even phase me because I don't have time to think about it. I don't think it's anything specific triggering it other than thinking about when they get here, but if I had to pin point something I think it was taking a parenting class. We are also taking Lamaze on 11/6 and the thought of it has me terrified in a sense because it makes it all too real and I am terrified of anything medical. I think I just kept myself sheltered to what actually would happen during child birth. And the whole unknown is hard for me too. I like planning and order. To wonder if I'll be induced or go into labor on my own, or will I need a C-section or go naturally. Then I was already told I'll be getting an epidural regardless due to the risk of possibly needing an emergency c-section with twins if something goes wrong. I am terrified of getting an epidural and not feeling in control. To be honest I had a complete breakdown doing 1 cycle of clomid and injecting ovidrel. I was convinced I would die from a few pills. I have never been good with any medical intervention so this is really sending me over the edge. I was so proud of myself for overcoming my fear of medication when i did the clomid cycle and now to face this is just overwhelming.

And then it's just other fears like how am I going to care for them, will I be able to make it work to go back to work part time like I want to? I feel like I just can't bring myself to go back full time. Or how will I handle 2 babies and a very needy dog? Or will I be able to breast feed like I want (this is something so important to me and I cringe just thinking about using formula even though I know I have to do what's best for them). It's just overwhelming


Thank you for all the advice and support!

Message edited 10/14/2016 9:48:29 AM.

Re: Pregnancy and mental health

I'm also terrified of anything medical. I just spent Wednesday night crying through a tooth extraction. I mean literally, tears pouring down my face even though I was numb and all I felt was pulling and pressure.

I was induced and it was NOT bad at all. I know it's a little different for you with twins, but if you like order and scheduling, you'll really like an induction. I was past my due date and kept getting checked for borderline low fluid, but I knew my induction was any day so I had time to learn about the process and get myself comfortable with the idea of it. I felt ready and anxious the morning of my induction and the staff at NYU made me feel very at ease. I was so scared of the IV/epidural. I was more scared of that than the actual birth. It wasn't bad! I promise. The epidural was administered quickly and painlessly and at that point I was 7 CM dilated and having quick, painful contractions so I welcomed that needle like I never thought I would. Once it was done, I felt so much better. I didn't feel out of control at all. My legs were numb-ish, but not like in a scary way. Just in a way that brought relief.

Honestly, if I was given the choice between having another tooth pulled and giving birth again- I'd birth 100 more babies. And I mean it!

As for the after care, it will all work out. I have TWO very needy dogs and they adjusted well to the baby- it took a week or two, but they love her and she loves them. You will make it work. You'll surprise yourself everyday with how much you can do. Same with breastfeeding. I know, I KNOW how you feel. I wanted it so badly and it was hard. And that was with just one. I did wind up supplementing with formula in the beginning because I was in a lot of pain. Once I resigned myself to it and realized it's fine, she'll be just as happy and healthy drinking formula, I was able to relax and get into the swing of nursing/pumping. So much so that after maybe 2 or 3 weeks, I was back to exclusive breastfeeding. I know it's important to you, but don't kill yourself over it. Your babies will need their momma more than they need your milk! All in all, you will make it through just fine. I swear!

Re: Pregnancy and mental health

Re: Pregnancy and mental health

Posted by PennyCat

Posted by Momma2015


Honestly, if I was given the choice between having another tooth pulled and giving birth again- I'd birth 100 more babies. And I mean it!

From the csection mom perspective, I'll say that in MY personal experience having had a scheduled very "textbook" csection with a relatively easy recovery, I'd also have another any day before having another wisdom tooth surgery. Any.day. My wisdom tooth extraction was THE WORST.

It helps that you're also so distracted by having a new baby (in your case, babies) that you just don't focus on the medical aspect as much as you think you will.

Hopefully that helps offer some perspective. Just think of all the billions of women on this earth who have done this before you, and "craxy" enough to do it again and again. You've got this!

Re: Pregnancy and mental health

Posted by MrsT809

Posted by PennyCat

Posted by Momma2015


Honestly, if I was given the choice between having another tooth pulled and giving birth again- I'd birth 100 more babies. And I mean it!

From the csection mom perspective, I'll say that in MY personal experience having had a scheduled very "textbook" csection with a relatively easy recovery, I'd also have another any day before having another wisdom tooth surgery. Any.day. My wisdom tooth extraction was THE WORST.

It helps that you're also so distracted by having a new baby (in your case, babies) that you just don't focus on the medical aspect as much as you think you will.

Hopefully that helps offer some perspective. Just think of all the billions of women on this earth who have done this before you, and "craxy" enough to do it again and again. You've got this!

I'm with you guys! I've had both a vaginal birth and an ecs and I would take either over a tooth extraction.

I would talk to your doctor, like others said it can only help to talk to them. The lack of control over what's going to happen can be scary but hopefully they can help you manage your concerns and fears.