pregnancy dystopia?

is/has anyone experienced this after all that you went through to get and stay pregnant? it's not going how i imagined. does it even matter?

Message edited 9/11/2012 1:39:40 PM.

Re: pregnancy dystopia?

Umm, yes!

I went through IF treatments for Logan and had a pretty easy pregnancy (besides some bleeding and losing a twin at 9 weeks).

For the twins, it was ridiculous.

It started with a low beta.

Then continued with bleeding from week 7 until week 20 due to a subchorionic hematoma.

Then they thought I had an amniotic band, so I was sent to a high-risk specialist.

At 21w6d, High-risk said I didn't have a band, but that my cervix was dangerously short. She also realized that I had been having contractions upwards of 10 per hour (which I did not realize were contractions). This "on my lunch break" appointment turned into her sending me immediately to the hospital for admittance.

The next day, I had a cerclage placed. When they tried to wean me off the meds for contractions, they couldn't at first so I ended up in the hospital for a week.

Once I got home I was put on strict bed rest (only could get up to use the bathroom or take a less than 10 minute shower). This started at 22w6d.

I also ended up having gestational diabetes.

I continued having contractions while on bed rest and went to L&D at least 6 times. Some of those times I had terbutaline shots, sometimes they did the FFN test, sometimes they just monitored me.

I had to go to my ob/gyn twice/week for NSTs during bed rest.

At my "graduating" appointment at 34 weeks at the high-risk, she noticed that one of the babies didn't seem to be growing appropriately and thought it might be IUGR. They scheduled me for a c-section 3 days later.

The NEXT DAY (valentine's day), I continued having contractions and decided to go to the hospital. Turns out I was dilated, my cerclage was tearing and the babies were COMING. I had a c-section a few hours later on 2/14/12 at 34w4d.

Hudson was in NICU from 2/14-3/1 and Stella from 2/14-3/10... I won't even detail the issues with that.

AND.... with all of that said,

my three children are the LOVES OF MY LIFE! The reasons I never go a day without smiling. I wouldn't trade a moment of it and would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

pregnancy dystopia?

i loved my pregnancy. i did go through a phase around 16 weeks where i was very nervous but once i had the 20w sono and felt the baby moving a lot, it started to all feel real and amazing. i really, truly loved being pregnant.

that was until my pregnancy was cut short 75% of the way through. hospital bedrest for pre-e quickly spiraled into HELLP and an emergency c-section at 33w1d under general anesthesia. 2 days on mag and morphine and not getting to see my DD in the NICU. the trauma of her birth and then the month in the NICU spiralled into longer term PTSD and PPD and losing my job because of it. none of it was how i imagined and honestly my expectations were only a tiny part of the problem.

you are carrying twins. in the IF world we all seem to think twins is like a buy one get one free. its what almost all of us secretly want and fear all at the same time. i didnt carry twins (almost did but only one embie became a baby, the other stayed an empty sac), but it is a HUMUNGO toll on your body. just one baby takes its toll enough. more than one is such a huge toll. even though its what we all want in principal, the reality of it must be a completely different story. your pregnancy can't be how you imagined it because you probably imagined a relatively simple pregnancy which rarely happens with twins and even more rarely happens with medically created pregnancies. we defy nature, and it is an awesome miracle that we have that option, but in one way or another many of us pay the price.

and wait until you are chasing 2 around.. as far as the day-to-day goes with being parent, talk about life being different from expectations!!

to answer your question... it matters to you now, but no, it doesnt really matter in the long run. in the grande scheme you will be pregnant for a very short amount of time. once they are here you won't forget everything you went through, but it wont be top of mind either. it fades and while you feel bad now, it wont matter in the long run unless you let it change your view of how much you want to continue to grow your family. otherwise, really, once your babies are here you will be wayyy too busy to think about whats going on now!!

Message edited 9/11/2012 10:38:49 PM.

Re: pregnancy dystopia?

thanks ladies! I REALLY needed to read this!

i think i've decided that pregnancy is just overrated, infertility made me blow it up and can't bother to get upset about it. I'm just going to try my best to stay as healthy as possible to get to my due date!

you girls are the best!

Re: pregnancy dystopia?

Posted by cateyemm

thanks ladies! I REALLY needed to read this!

i think i've decided that pregnancy is just overrated, infertility made me blow it up and can't bother to get upset about it. I'm just going to try my best to stay as healthy as possible to get to my due date!

you girls are the best!