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Peainapod
Peanuts are here!
Member since 1/09 13591 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Putting someone in a nursing home...
Not sure if this is even the right forum..but my mother is the sole caretaker of her mother. My grandma is COPD/EMphseyma, home bound, has 1/2 of a lung functioning, legally blind and her left hip is probably going to give out soon, has terrible arthritis in all her joints, etc. Yet she still lives in her apt alone b/c my mother goes there every day to give her meds, do shopping, etc.
Its at the point where my grandma needs more care than my mother can give her. She has a dr. that visits her at home, nurses that are coming 1x a week now to give her b-12 shots for her arthritis, etc. Drs. to come do sonograms in the home, blood work etc. Every time she is hopsitalized and released its a 2 week ordeal of visiting nurses, home aides, etc.
we've tried home attendants and they've all been terrible. Short of paying for a private live in nurse which no one can afford, my grandmother needs to be in a home.
My mother thinks that b/c my grandmother is still of sound mind (at 86 yrs old) she cant just admit her to a home. Is this the case? does anyone have experience with this? Does a dr. need to intervene? Im at the point where Im going to lose my mind b/c EVERY DAY its something with my grandmothers run down apartment, her dr.s not showing up, etc. Its taking over my mother's life and for some reason she thinks that its ok to live her life like this.
I dont know much about my mothers childhood/history with my grandmother..but there are 4 other siblings that dont give 2 shi** so basically its up to my mother. My grandmother wasnt mother of the year Im sure, and i bet there is some guilt behind all this, but my grandmother is becoming one evil old woman and making EVERYONE miserable in the process.
sorry this is so long, but im afraid my mother may have a breakdown if something isnt done soon.
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Posted 12/17/10 9:35 PM  |
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cateyemm
Twins!
Member since 7/10 8027 total posts
Name:
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Re: Putting someone in a nursing home...
im sorry you're going through this. your mom is a saint for taking care of her every day. It definitely takes a toll on one's life. That said , you need to consult with her doctor to see if he thinks she could qualify for a nursing home. i dont really know but some people can be considered too high functioning. Installing reliable homecare is going to be the first plan of action and if that doesnt work out an assisted living facility or program or a nursing home would be step 2. Depending on her medical & living expenses the doctor might help you decide which is better....FM me if you want more info- this is what I do all day...
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| Posted 12/17/10 10:08 PM |
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imagin916
LIF Adult
Member since 6/05 1826 total posts
Name:
Valerie
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Re: Putting someone in a nursing home...
I know that it is a lot easier to get someone admitted to a nursing home when they are coming from a hospital rather than home. We had to do this with my grandfather since my grandmother was caring for him and she had a massive stroke and died within a few days.
Your grandmother's doctors should have no problem admitting her for any reason, including dehydration, and can work on placement from there.
I know this is a hard decision and I'm sorry that you and your family have to go through this 
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| Posted 12/17/10 10:09 PM |
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beautyq115
New Year!
Member since 5/05 13729 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Putting someone in a nursing home...
My Grandma went from the hospital into a nursing home in Queens. The first one was awful. The kind of place the I am sure does bad things to their patients. We finally got her into Ozanam Hall which was a dream come true. The people were so caring, they are nuns (forget what order) They even had pets that ran free in the nurisng home. My Grandma loved this aspect.
Placing someone in a nursing home is really hard.
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| Posted 12/17/10 10:18 PM |
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MrsC614
My little angel is here <3
Member since 7/09 2851 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: Putting someone in a nursing home...
there are alot of aspects that go into placing someone into a nursing home. 1. does she qualify for a skilled nursing facility vs an assisted living facility? the doctor can answer this. 2. what is her financial status and insurance status? does she own her own home? you will probably need an elder care attorney, and if she has an agency coming into the home to care for her, i would try contacting them to have social work come in and evaluate her. there are lots of community resources that they can recommend if she is not eligible to go to a nursing home. private duty care is expensive (approx 20 dollars per hour) so that is prob out of the question for most people.
it is a misconception that it is easier to get her admitted to a nursing home from a hospital. there is alot that goes on behind the scenes that you guys are not aware of. I would discuss this with her doctor and take it from there. but, if she is of sound mind, and is deemed able to make her own medical decisions, you might be in for a fight. you can't force her against her will. good luck
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| Posted 12/18/10 12:54 AM |
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mishmosh
That's all I got.
Member since 7/06 1452 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Putting someone in a nursing home...
There are plenty of people in nursing homes who are of sound mind, but still need skilled nursing care. I would call a couple of nursing homes and ask them what the process is. Tell them your situation. There are social workers there that will definitely point you in the right direction. I've had a very good experience with Carillon in Huntington.
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| Posted 12/18/10 4:50 AM |
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Re: Putting someone in a nursing home...
Would she be willing to go to an adult day care facility during the day?
Then you would only have to worry about finding home care at night.
I work in home care and there are definitely good and bad aides out there.
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| Posted 12/18/10 7:45 AM |
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Peainapod
Peanuts are here!
Member since 1/09 13591 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Putting someone in a nursing home...
Posted by mzsocialworker1
Would she be willing to go to an adult day care facility during the day?
Then you would only have to worry about finding home care at night.
I work in home care and there are definitely good and bad aides out there.
she's basically homebound and has only left the house for hospital trips, so daycare facitlity is out.
she owns nothing, lives off SS and has no estate to speak of.
I guess the first thing is that I will have to discuss this with my mother and then have her talk to grandma's doctor. Im going to research some places in her area (she's in Sheepshead bay).
I mean, she's a danger to herself now living in her apt as she left the gas on the new stove 3 weeks ago. her apt was filled with gas and she called my mom saying she was feeling sick. My parents race over there and they could smell the gas coming through the hallway. Seriously, she could have blown herself up or the whole building. and she has an oxygen machine in the house as well. All it will take is one slip in her apt and her hip will break. and the dr.s already told her she would not survive hip surgery.
thanks everyone for the info.
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| Posted 12/18/10 11:49 AM |
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