| Posted By |
Message |
JP826
=)
Member since 9/06 10903 total posts
Name:
Me!! All about ME!
|
Q & A session with a Nutritionist - Please dont move to FOOD!! This is funny!
HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is
this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...
Don't waste them on exercise . Everything wears out eventually. Speeding
up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can
extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
Take a nap.
________________________________
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat?
Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more
than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.
Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass
(green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your
recommended daily allowance of vegetable products
________________________________
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled
wine , that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get
even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain.
Bottoms up!
________________________________
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one
to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
________________________________
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry . My philosophy is: No
Pain...Good!
________________________________
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: You're not listening.... Foods are fried these days in
vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more
vegetables be bad for you?
________________________________
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft
around the middle?
A: < B>Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets
bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
________________________________
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO! Cocoa beans! Another vegetable. It's
the best feel-good food around!!
________________________________
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
________________________________
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' IS a shape! !
|
Posted 8/7/08 3:47 PM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Lisa
I'm a PANK!!!
Member since 5/05 22334 total posts
Name:
Professional Aunts No Kids
|
Re: Q & A session with a Nutritionist - Please dont move to FOOD!! This is funny!
|
| Posted 8/7/08 3:56 PM |
| |
|
Lauren
Very Happy!
Member since 10/06 3917 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Q & A session with a Nutritionist - Please dont move to FOOD!! This is funny!
that's great!
|
| Posted 8/7/08 3:59 PM |
| |
|
Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Q & A session with a Nutritionist - Please dont move to FOOD!! This is funny!
Ok, the body fat ratio made me burst out laughing!!!!!!!!!
|
| Posted 8/7/08 4:01 PM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Q & A session with a Nutritionist - Please dont move to FOOD!! This is funny!
LOL!
Love the one about fried foods 
|
| Posted 8/7/08 4:02 PM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Q & A session with a Nutritionist - Please dont move to FOOD!! This is funny!
Posted by SIBride06
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
awesome!
|
| Posted 8/7/08 4:06 PM |
| |
|
SoinLove
Making big changes
Member since 5/05 16541 total posts
Name:
Kristin
|
Re: Q & A session with a Nutritionist - Please dont move to FOOD!! This is funny!
|
| Posted 8/7/08 4:10 PM |
| |
|
MarathonKnitter
HAPPY
Member since 2/07 17374 total posts
Name:
EMBRACING CHANGE
|
Re: Q & A session with a Nutritionist - Please dont move to FOOD!! This is funny!
i have a friend who is a registered dietitian... i'll be emailing this to her!
|
| Posted 8/7/08 4:16 PM |
| |
|
Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
|
Re: Q & A session with a Nutritionist - Please dont move to FOOD!! This is funny!
Posted by Slightly-Taller
Posted by SIBride06
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
awesome!
this was my favorite
|
| Posted 8/7/08 4:27 PM |
| |
|
HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
|
Re: Q & A session with a Nutritionist - Please dont move to FOOD!! This is funny!
OMG That was hysterical!!!
|
| Posted 8/7/08 4:47 PM |
| |
|
1stimemom
Love my boys
Member since 2/08 8766 total posts
Name:
Mrs Dee
|
Re: Q & A session with a Nutritionist - Please dont move to FOOD!! This is funny!
This is my type of nutritionist!
|
| Posted 8/7/08 5:09 PM |
| |
|
inbliss
I'm a mommy to a 2 year old!!!
Member since 1/08 1694 total posts
Name:
Andrea
|
Re: Q & A session with a Nutritionist - Please dont move to FOOD!! This is funny!
|
| Posted 8/7/08 7:38 PM |
| |
|
Kellish
LIF Adult
Member since 10/07 2713 total posts
Name:
LOVE THE LIFE
|
Re: Q & A session with a Nutritionist - Please dont move to FOOD!! This is funny!
|
| Posted 8/7/08 7:47 PM |
| |
|
bm5040
LIF Zygote
Member since 5/10 29 total posts
Name:
Bianca Merante
|
Re: Q & A session with a Nutritionist - Please dont move to FOOD!! This is funny!
Posted by JP826
HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is
this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...
Don't waste them on exercise . Everything wears out eventually. Speeding
up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can
extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
Take a nap.
________________________________
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat?
Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more
than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.
Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass
(green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your
recommended daily allowance of vegetable products
________________________________
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled
wine , that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get
even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain.
Bottoms up!
________________________________
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one
to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
________________________________
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry . My philosophy is: No
Pain...Good!
________________________________
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: You're not listening.... Foods are fried these days in
vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more
vegetables be bad for you?
________________________________
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft
around the middle?
A: < B>Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets
bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
________________________________
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO! Cocoa beans! Another vegetable. It's
the best feel-good food around!!
________________________________
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
________________________________
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' IS a shape! !
lol .. that was good
|
| Posted 5/29/10 9:26 PM |
| |
|
butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Q & A session with a Nutritionist - Please dont move to FOOD!! This is funny!
|
| Posted 5/30/10 12:25 PM |
| |
|
