Question about holding back for kindergarten- sorry- long

Hi ladies!

Just hoping for some advice.

DS was born 11/29. We just moved to Kings Park- they have full day kindergarten. He JUST makes the cutoff for this coming September. The cutoff is 12/1.

We have a DD who is 2.5 years and another baby coming in July.

DS is in 4 year old morning pre-school 4 days a week in Northport. I asked his teacher, should we hold him back? That is the trend with Oct/Nov boys. She said no- he is bright and on-par with the other boys in the class- she said he will be bored if we have him redo 4 year old curricullum. He can write his name, play a game of war with cards, knows all his letters, numbers, etc. I asked about socially and maturity- she said he is the same as the other boys. He is 50th percentile for height but VERY skinny.

What to do? I feel in my heart he is ready for kindergarten. I feel that if he does another 4 year old morning program in Kings Park then he will be bored and its almost cruel for him to watch Scooby Doo all afternoon instead of learning in school. But with a new baby on the way how much could my MIL (or a nanny) and me really spend teaching him in the afternoon? I work part-time but the days I would be home with my three children I still have to monitor e-mails.

I feel like he will excel in kindergarten but I'm scared of the teen years- being younger than the others for resisting peer pressure, etc.

Perhaps I can put him in a full-day 4 year old program- but darn the money! With possibly a nanny for the new baby and morning preschool for DD. Then what if he is really bored once he gets to public kindergarten? Of course we will find the money if that's what is best.

I would sincerely appreciate any thoughts you might have- thanks so much!

Re: Question about holding back for kindergarten- sorry- long

I think you know your child. However I do know alot of people who keep their child back if they are that close to the cutoff - again, just because there's a cut off doesn't mean your child isn't ready.

I live in KP too. We send my daughter to Holy Family Pre-K. I love it. It's 5 days a week from 8:30 - 2:15 and it's pretty affordable - well my kids were in day care so affordable to me might be different to others.

FM if you need details.

BTW congrats on the pregnancy

Re: Question about holding back for kindergarten- sorry- long

also rememebr the decision does not have to stay the same all the way through school

i know a lot of kids that repeated 7th or 9th grade when they swithed to a private school. Some times they took a mix of classes on different levels.

also there are options if he is not ready for college yet - a lot of boarding schools have post grad years and there is all boys school in maine meant for post grad year

Re: Question about holding back for kindergarten- sorry- long

OK, I have 2 experiences with this in my life, so I will share. My DS is Nov 8, and we decided not to hold him back, even though the ped was pushing us to hold him back. Best decision we ever made. He has excelled across the board. As far as the maturity issue, I think that it has actually helped it. He is now in 5th grade, and tends to be a little immature. I think being around kids who are older helps him be more mature than he would normally be. So, that was a success story!

My nephew is the total opposite. His birthday is Nov 15, and they didn't hold him back either. Well, he is going to have to repeat kindegarten. But, I blame a lot of that on SIL... she never put him in daycare or preK, never did anything with him at home. he doesn't write his name, doesn't recognize his name, no letters, no numbers, etc.

Clearly, your DS is used to school. he understands about a schedule, how to walk in a line, behave with his classmates, sharing, etc. Additionally, he seems academically ready for kindegarten. I would put him in.

Re: Question about holding back for kindergarten- sorry- long

I would not hold him back. It seems like he is ready to me, especially if his teacher is saying he will be fine.

Re: Question about holding back for kindergarten- sorry- long

He sounds just like my older son. I sent him to K with no regrets.

In your situation living in a district with half day K, I would have sent him to a catholic or private school with full day kindergarten. I think he's get more out of that than another year of preschool, even if it's full day.

Re: Question about holding back for kindergarten- sorry- long

He sounds like he is ready. My DS is late November and my feeling is if he's ready for it, I am not going to try to hold him back just because he is close to the cutoff date.

I am also a November baby. I started Kindergarten at 4, going on 5 and had no problems academically or socially. I would say if you had serious concerns, it would be worth looking into holding him back, but I think he's ready.

Re: Question about holding back for kindergarten- sorry- long

I wouldn't hold him back! Sounds like you know he's ready, and his teachers have given you the go-ahead.

Re: Question about holding back for kindergarten- sorry- long

Re: Question about holding back for kindergarten- sorry- long

I wouldn't hold him back...from what your saying it seems like he is ready. Speaking as someone who was consistently the youngest in my grade, it didn't make a difference in terms of peer pressure or anything. The most annoying thing about it was that all my friends got their driver's licenses way before I did

Re: Question about holding back for kindergarten- sorry- long

Every child is different and only you really know your own child and what you feel is best. That said, my son was born November 20 and our cutoff is December 1. We decided to start him so he is the youngest in his grade. He is in 6th grade, first year of middle school and excels in all areas including socially. We have never once regretted not holding him back. Being the youngest does not faze him at all.

Re: Question about holding back for kindergarten- sorry- long

My DS's bday is the end of October. He was and still is very smart, academically he has always been way ahead of his age. I never even thought about keeping him back. Another Mom with a late bday child in his K class said she had thought about it - honestly, that was the first I ever knew that people considered it. He's in 3rd grade now so he's not near the teen years but I don't regret it for a second. He continues to do well. I will say I thought he was sort of immature in the first year or so but I met other boys who were on the older end who were just as immature and some that were younger who were more mature. The past year or so it's been so different, he's coming into his own maturity wise.

Someone else said it - you know your own child. If he is bright and you honestly think he'd be bored, then definitely move him forward. I would not worry about the teen years now. So far away to even know what will be.

Re: Question about holding back for kindergarten- sorry- long

Thank you so much ladies for your replies!

I called the KP district and the lovely principal of the elementary school called me back! She said he sounds ready from what his nursery teacher said but that they do evaluations for all incoming children in June. So, we will let him be evaluated. She said if he scores at least 80% then its a no-brainer to send him.

Anyway, in the meantime I will research full-day 4 year old programs- one mom on this post listed one and there is another near our new home too. I will put the deposit down on one and if we lose the money and send him to kindergarten, so be it.

So, we will have a back-up plan and see how he does on his evaluation in June and decide then.

I feel better chickening out of the decision for a few more months.....

Re: Question about holding back for kindergarten- sorry- long

My brother was born on 12/1 so he met the cut off date. My parents decided to enroll him because he was ready. He was always the youngest child in his class, but he handled the work well. Never had any issues keeping up.

Re: Question about holding back for kindergarten- sorry- long

Re: Question about holding back for kindergarten- sorry- long

Dd's bday is 11/29 too. We sent her and she loves it and is doing very well!