question for all new moms??

so how hard is it taking care of your baby?? im almost there and i have been too busy to even think about how nervous im going to be..is there anything that you didnt expect or do you have any advice for a new mom to be?i've never been around babies much so im REALLY NEW AT THIS

Re: question for all new moms??

I'm not a new mom yet, but if you are worried how about taking an infant care class or join a new mom's support group?

I know good sam offers both because I saw the fliers when I was there on Saturday for lamaze.

Re: question for all new moms??

First of all...
I will answer any questions you ever have as absolutely honestly as I possibly can because I think it's the right thing to do. I feel like so many people lied to me, or at least romanticized to me, what it's like to be a new mom. So I have made a promise to never do that to anyone.
So here's my take on the last two weeks of being a new mom....

I was EXTREMELY overwhelmed from the moment she was born. I have a ton of baby experience, but nothing prepares you for your own baby. It hit me when I realized that no one was going to come and take her from me. It was MY job now to care for this little human. It's very surreal at first. Yeah, you carry them around for nine months, but they're a part of you at that point, and as much work as you think it might be to be prego, it's nothing compared to when they're on the outside.
I absolutely loved her from the moment she was born, but I felt like she was a total stranger....because basically...she WAS. She still is, but I find that I get to know her more and more everyday.
Everyone told me that I would just be SO inlove with this child and nothing else would matter anymore once she was here. They lied. I love her, but I still find myself lamenting the fact that I am stuck inside for most of the summer. I don't resent her for it, but I'm still annoyed! I'm human, dammit. Everyone also told me that I would want to spend every moment with her. Hell no. I have run out of this house without thinking twice three times in two weeks. I left her with my mom two times, and with JT yesterday, and I had no guilt about needing to get out and do my own thing. I'm still Rachel. I still need to feel like myself.
I'll tell you what's NOT as bad as I thought it would be...the sleep deprivation and the taking care of the baby in general. It helps that I have a husband who does almost more than I do at times for the baby. If you would have asked me a week ago what it was like, I would have told you HORRIBLE and that I hated being a mom. But it was just the hormones, I'm convinced. I feel good, I'm happy to have my daughter and although it's not easy when she's fussing and I don't know what she wants, it's made me more flexible and I think that's important in life.
You will find that everyday is a new adventure, and if you just allow yourself to go with it, it will make it so much easier. I had so much anxiety before I had her, but since her arrival, I'm just too busy to even worry, and you will be, too. Hang in there! And remember, if you ever want a straight answer about mommy-hood, just ask me. I'll never sugar coat things.

Re: question for all new moms??

FIRST OF ALL RACHAEL i want to congratulate you on your beautiful new family..i love that picture of the 3 of you and your new angel looks just like you..and you look so pretty!!! and SECOND..thank you so much..u def put things the way i believe i would feel into perspective..its wierd how i just dont feel that motherly instinct yet..but like you said..she is a part of me at this moment so i dont "know her" yet..i know people say it comes naturally and im sure it does..but i guess its good that i will have family and friends around me that would have no prob letting me do what i need to do..cause like you said.."im rachael" and "im human" well "im alycia" and im an independant person too and i like to get things done quick..and do what i have to do..and im going for a damn massage after alexandra is born..lol....BUT THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE ADVICE...i def dont like when people sugar coat things and i appreciate your honesty!!!

Re: question for all new moms??

Thank you Rachel, I enjoyed reading an honest answer, not one from Mother in Laws !!!

Re: question for all new moms??

Rachel...you are 1000% right on the money as far as I'm concerned and *I'm* so relieved you wrote this!! You're so right about the "stranger" thing; I thought I would have this moment where I knew her and she knew me since before time. In reality, I was like, "Who is this?"

I'll also add, that I had breakdown moments the first couple of weeks where I said, "What was I thinking?!?!" I remember crying to my DH saying, "It's so cute when you're pregnant, but it's not so cute now!" Even though I had people visiting me--other moms new and old even--I felt incredibly alone as though I was the only person in the world who didn't get it.

I swore my DH was going to have an affair because he was leaving everyday and living his old life, while I was now a *gasp* MOM...a mom whose body and hormones were totally out of whack!

So just be prepared that you may feel some of this, then again, you might not...I don't know. I do know this...you WILL love your child unconditionally and it DOES get better everyday.

And lastly, you will gain more of an appreciation everyday for your own mom who did things for you you'd probably never have imagined. You will be so proud to be a woman and a mother!

Best of luck to you!!!!!!

Message edited 6/27/2006 10:08:20 AM.

Re: question for all new moms??

Yes, definitely be prepared to resent your DH a bit when he goes back to work! When JT went back last week, I was like, what the hell? You get to go and be normal with the rest of the world, and I'm stuck here?! I mean, it has less to do with the baby, and more to do with the fact that I am not a stay at home person. All the women I work with kept telling me, "Oh, you're not going to want to come back to work once she's born!" BITE ME! Come September, I'm SO out the door! I'm just not programmed to be a stay at home mom. Or a stay at home anything. I totally give credit to those people who are, but I love my job, it's a huge part of who I am.
Anyway, thought I'd add that, too.
Just remember, there's no right or wrong way to feel. If you feel it, it's fine. I had MAJOR emotional breakdowns up until about this past Saturday. A lot of it is hormones, I'm sure, but a lot of it is the fact that now my life is different, and I liked my life the other way. But it's just a new version of reality for us.
I just got done making breakfast for JT and I, I cleaned my kitchen, had some coffee, etc., so things DO go back to normal in some ways. There's just an extra bonus tossed into the mix

Re: question for all new moms??

Thanks for the honest answers!!!

Re: question for all new moms??

thanks laides for your honesty....as a mom to be still, it really really helps!!