re- post on religion, i have a problem and dont know what to do...

well, reading that last post really started making me think...to her, she should ABSOLUTELY do what she feels is right, not what the ILs want- in the end, it is YOUR child, and you have to do what matters to you, and if ur stomach is queasy, it is for a reason- listen to it, and do what u FEEL is best (ps- and dont feel like you owe them a baptism bc of the check they gave you for a downpayment- im sure u feel in debted to them, but not when it comes to your childs religion....)

now, i have a problem, can anyone help??!!!

i am christian- i hardly ever get to church (i cant find a good one close to me- not an excuse, but im pretty particular...haha), but i am def religious, i def believe that jesus died for our sins and everything...

DH is jewish- again, they are hardly religious, dont go to temple or everything, but they celebrate passover and hannakuh, and this past year for DD we did Hannakuh down here with his fam and did Xmas upstate with mine...and for Easter, ILs were nice enough and got DD a little basket with candy and goodies and stuff to celebrate....

how do i raise DD though?? how can i teach her about Christmas and the birth of Jesus when her daddies family doesnt celebrate it? how do u explain that people believe in different things...i DEF want her to believe in God and Jesus, so what do i do....shell be getting older (one day) and shell start to understand the different holidays, and why doesnt gammie and gappy have a christmas tree and stuff...???

anyone in my shoes? what did u do? and do i do the whole bar/bat mitsfah (sp?) i dont know..........

Re: re- post on religion, i have a problem and dont know what to do...

their really is no right or wrong answer, you and your DH have to make that decission and do whats right for your little family
I was raised jewish, however my dad (who is jewish) married my stepmom who is catholic when i was 7 years old, being that my mom and him are jewish me and my sister obvously continued on to get bat mitzvah, etc. however when she and my dad had a child, they decided to raise him jewish too, (if they had a girl they were going to raise her catholic since my dad already had me and my sister, and if it was a boy he was going to be jewish to carry my dads name, etc) After he was born, he had to be converted (its called a mikvah) b/c in the jewish religion the baby is what the mom is, and since my stepmom was catholic, in our religions eyes he was catholic and needed to be converted to judiasm. He is now 13 and has had no issues knowing that he, my dad and us (the sisters) are jewish and believe in one thing and his mom who is catholic believes in something else, he went to hebrew school, got bar mitzvahed, etc but knows about jesus, we always celebrate easter and x-mas, with my stepmoms family (we all even go to church on x-mas eve). however i realize this situation is not the norm, i am lucky that my stepmom and her family are so wonderful and were so undrstanding in raising him jewish,
i feel our child will be able to know and embrace his religion (again me and my DH are raising him jewish) but it'll be up to my DH to teach him what he wants about jesus but at the same time letting our son know this is not what he or I believe in. We are still going to have a tree (and of course a manorah) and celebrate easter and when the time comes, we will explain it as simple as possible, I think it'll be my DH family will try to press more stuff into him and make it more complicated then it has to be but i will just cross that bridge if it happens
i guess i am trying to tell you, it can all work out, my brother is NOT confused at all and never has been and i am going to make sure my son will be the same. me and my DH didnt want to not raise our children with no religion, we both personally felt that you can guide him (e.g we decided on the jewish religion) and if when he's older its not the path he wants, then it will be his chioce and me and my DH wil know we did what we could.
Good luck with your decision

Message edited 4/29/2007 10:04:21 PM.

Re: re- post on religion, i have a problem and dont know what to do...

I am catholic, (not religious, dont practice) and DH is Jewish (not religious, doesnt practice either). When we got married we got a rabbi and no priest. Mainly because I didnt want to spend the xtra money on another officiant and felt that one servant of God was plenty. Honestly, it didnt matter to me, I just wanted to get married.

Mostly we had the Rabbi because my MIL is the jewish one (FIL is catholic) and it meant a lot to her so blah blah blah.. again, I didnt care.

Now, DH did have a Bris, no bar mitzphah and never went to temple. He celebrated both hannukah and xmas, and was basically taught about God, and believing in a higher power. Thats about it.

My DS Jacob at this moment is "nothing." Never had a bris, no christening. We will raise him to celebrate both hannukah and xmas. I will teach him as he gets older about both religions. There are parts of catholicism that I agree and dont agree with, and parts of judism that I think the same way about. I personally like bits and pieces of both. So that is what I will teach my son. One day when he gets older he can do all the reading up he wants on both religions and if he wants to choose a specific one that is fine with me. Good luck..

Re: re- post on religion, i have a problem and dont know what to do...

I was a product of an interfaith marriage...my Dad is Catholic, mom Jewish. I choose my religion around the age of 12. My parents respected each other's religion and exposed us to everything. My husband was also a product of an interfaith marriage. His mom is Catholic and dad is Jewish. Leading to our marriage.....I am Jewish and DH is Catholic. Enough with the history.....
We decided neither of us wanted convert. When we got married we searched for a Rabbi and Priest who would marry us and went to interfaith pre-canna. There were 22 other couples all marrying interfaith. Lot's of healthy discussions with lots of talk of how they think they may raise their kids.
In our case we chose to expose them to both religions. We found out the Msgr. and Rabbi who married us conduct a "Blessing of the Baby Ceremony" The child is baptized and receives a Hebrew name. I wasn't sure if this was something I was OK with so I went and witnessed another family's ceremony first. After lots of soul searching we decided we did want to have some religious basis for the kids. So both my girls have been Blessed.
Make whatever decision is right for you. Know there are resources for interfaith families. Long Island just started a chapter this past year. I have not gone to any yet but put myself of the mailing list for the future. Whatever your decision, your kids will be fine as long as you teach them to respect all and come to you when other kids ask them a question they are having difficulty explaining! Here's the link if you are interested:interfaith LI

Re: re- post on religion, i have a problem and dont know what to do...

I am in the same position as you. I am catholic and DH is jewish. Neither of us go to church or temple regularly, his parents dont' keep kosher house, but both families celebrate their own religious holidays. We fit into the CEO catholic category-Christmas, Easter Only catholics.

We had a talk a long time ago before we had kids to what we would do and how we would raise them. At first we decided to teach them ourselves, but then reality set in and we know we wouldn't have the time or resources to actually do that and we both agreed we want them to have some spirtuality in their life.

So we are raising them catholic, both my kids are/will be baptized, go to religious instructions take their sacraments, but they will be immersed in the jewish religion as well.

I take a huge interest in my DH's religion (it never goes the other way with his family), and at times I know more than my DH does.

I picked up the series of books the jewish book of why, it answers alot of questions about holidays, customs, culture and the why. I read both of them, so those tough questions we can't answer=are in the book.

ETA: we were married by a rabbi/deacon and if down the line one of my girls feels a stronger pull towards judiasm, we will bless her decision and support it.

Message edited 4/30/2007 8:46:15 AM.