RE told me I need a DONOR

Well after 3 IUI Attempts and two IVF Cycles my RE told me I need Donor Eggs. He said my Ovaries just don't seem to be producing the eggs needed. He said I was on the HIGHEST LEVEL of medication and still only produced 5 folicles and I should have produced 20-30???? I am soooo upset. I don't know what to do. My youger sister has been telling me...her eggs are mine if I want them. Which is great but...I don't know what to do. I asked my RE if we could try one more IVF Cycle and he said in his opinion it would be a waste of time and he would not do it. So do I find yet ANOTHER DOCTOR and try one last time? Do I just try using the donor eggs? I don't know what to do. My husband isn't crazy about the donor eggs but he said he would do it if I wanted it! I don't know what to do?? Any opinions? I just feel the doctor isn't right! Am I in denial? Can you tell...I am so confused right now.

Re: RE told me I need a DONOR

Where do you go now? Were your embryos poor quality?

I would ABSOLUTELY go for AT LEAST another consult at either Cornell or SIRM. JMO.

Re: RE told me I need a DONOR

The first IVF I had, I lost the eggs before retrieval and this last one I did I only produced 5 folicles and the RE said that they should have been mature after being on the drugs for 8 days so he said to stop taking the med's because based on my past history, his opinion is that they will be poor quality. I have never had the opportunity to have my eggs removed to see if they are good quality of not! I went to SJ Fertility Clinic in NJ.

What weird is that I first only had 3 folicles (day 2) then on day 4 they saw 12 and then on day 6 there were 13 and then all of a sudden day 8 only 5 each less then 10 mm.

The last cycle the eggs all became mature 18mm - but we waited to long and I lost them!

I feel that this RE just gave up on me to easy. I just made an appt (online) with Pennsylvania Hospital - Penn Infertility Clinic to get another opinion.

Re: RE told me I need a DONOR

Re: RE told me I need a DONOR

Lisa -- Personally I would get a second (or third, or fourth) opinion.

NYC is THE go-to city for infertility. The top clinics in the WORLD are here and people come from all over the globe to see Drs. at Cornell, SIRM, NYU, Columbia.....

I chose SIRM for a few reasons, aside from their success levels -- 2 important ones being I could get in earlier than Cornell, and second because they take my insurance. This is my first IFV soI am hoping it is the last as well.

I would definitely go to one of these TOP clinics in the world, they will give you another opinion and hopefully better suggestions. I actually have not found it to be a hassel to go into the city for my appointments and they will work with your schedule. I know SIRM sees a lot of patients from out of the country so they will work with your lab and also do a lot of phone consults if that is easier for you.

good luck and do NOT give up hope!!

Message edited 4/30/2006 12:54:40 PM.

Re: RE told me I need a DONOR

I really do not have any advice for you b/c I am fairly new at all this....but, I wanted to share some !! The only advice I could tell you is go with your Gut and try another clinic.

Re: RE told me I need a DONOR

Lisa, like all the ladies who have posted stated, RUN TO ANOTHER DOCTOR !!!!

First of all, 20-30 follicules ?? That sounds a bit extreme...Do you have pcos ? How old are you, that he feels 30 follicules would be a normal amount ?

Unfortunately, some of these clinics are concerned with their 'statistics'. Being on the highest dose of meds, doesn't work for everyone. Did your RE change your protocol from the first IVF to the second ? The first IVF is more of a diagnostic, to learn about your eggs, and your response to the meds.

I say it's time to try to meet with Dr. Davis at Cornell, or SIRM (they have a nyc and a westchster location). RMA in NJ is also an excellent clinic !

There is something I found, that a woman who was ttc wrote in a blog, she states my thoughts perfectly.

THIS IS LONG

Good Times, Good Times« Your Opinions Needed | Main | How Far Fetched, Really? »

IVF Tips and Tricks
These are some things that I would have either done or loved to have known prior to starting IVF or tips for after the first or second one. Julie started a GREAT thread on the IVFC Vets board with some of these and a load of other helpful and hilarious tips – definitely worth checking out.

Go to a top notch clinic – stats DO matter – check them out. Going to a clinic because it’s more convenient, closer, better magazines in the waiting room or you loooooove the doctor even though you're not pregnant after 23 iui's – not good enough. You may luck out, but why not go to the best?

The best clinics will probably not hold your hand. So yes, you’re going to have to know when you start lupron, if it overlaps with gonal-f (seriously a friend of mine didn’t start lupron because they didn’t call her) and when to stop which meds. They didn’t give you a calendar? Demand one or make one yourself.

Beg, cry, plead for repeat pregnancy loss (RPL) panel. 42% of the population are MTHFR MUTANTS – not that there’s anything wrong with that, but it CAN hurt your chances of conceiving or carrying to term. It’s disgusting that you need a certain number of miscarriages prior to having this panel done.

Doctor thinks you have diminished ovarian reserve? Have them run the panel, don’t just take their word for it. They are not GOD and unfortunately, if they can’t find out what’s wrong, they might just blame it on something convenient, like crap ovaries.

If you’ve failed two cycles (or more) - get thee to a new clinic – at the very least have a second or third opinion, just to have a new set of eyes on you and your chart. A friend went through three cycles at THE most reputable clinic in Boston, when she went to another clinic for her second opinion, the doctor immediately thought she was diabetic and her diagnosis was confirmed with a simple blood test. New doctor was appalled that she had not been diagnosed by her former physician.

Unfortunately, yes, you do have to be your own best advocate - Davis at Cornell is supposed to be ideal and I’ve heard great things about Kearns at Shady Grove, but for the most part – it’s just a job (and a Porsche and a vacation home) for these characters. Some of them just don’t care enough to go out of their way. Which leads to…

Educate yourself – do not count on the RE, nurses or tech’s for updated, accurate or latest information. My last clinic provided the lab and the 12 inch vaginal wall poker – that’s about it. Previous clinic thought that Cornell’s methods were outdated – I think it was that comment that sent me screaming for the door.

More meds may not equal more eggs. Conversely, more meds MAY equal less quality eggs. 8 amps and ramping UP is so yesterday.

If you feel strongly that immune testing is something you want to pursue, but your doctor is against it you have two choices; do it at another lab (millenova is one) or go to another RE that believes in immune issues.

Positive thinking will not make your follicles grow or help you get pregnant – anyone who says that you have to think positive deserves to be kicked in the teeth with steel tipped boots. Sometimes trying to be positive when you’re on the brink of depression causes more pain than “positivity”. Stress is never good for a body, but it’s not going to damn your cycle – if you’re stressing that you’re not positive enough, you’ve got a double whammy (the ivf being the original stress of course) – have a glass of wine.

A hysteroscopy is your friend – why find out $50,000 and 3 cycles later that you have a septum?

Still can’t find anything wrong with either you or your spouse? You might want to check out his sperm again with a SCSA – jury’s still out with me on this one as I didn't have it done.

Distractions are KEY. During the 2ww take that extra work assignment, go to the beach, get a library full of books or movies in – distract yourself or you WILL go crazy.

You have 8 celled ‘beautiful’, ‘perfect’ or ‘excellent’ embryo’s – doesn’t mean anything. It’s a rating system yes, doesn’t tell you what’s going on inside though. That scrappy little five cell may be the only normal one.

Pay attention to symptoms at your peril! You may get more symptoms from the PIO or suppositories than the actual pregnancy.

There is nothing wrong with therapy - just make sure you get a therapist that specializes in infertility or it's all for naught.

Re: RE told me I need a DONOR

Redstar, thanks for this blog. It is very inspiring for those who are starting off on their IF journey and for those who have lost hope!

Re: RE told me I need a DONOR

I'm sorry you got that news. You do have some options though before even thinking of donor eggs.

Have you thought about a natural cycle IVF? I did one back in March and while it was BFN it was the best chance I've had so far to getting pregnant in this whole IVF process- I had one egg from ER, it fertilized and I got to transfer one embryo. I went to Dr. Zhang at New Hope, the procedure was about $4800 and minimal medication.

Don't give up on your own eggs yet!!

Re: RE told me I need a DONOR

I just wanted to send you hugs. I am sure this is heartbreaking news

Re: RE told me I need a DONOR

bump