Real Marital Problem or Insenstive Husband?

My husband and I have had arguments over the way I pronounce some words, mostly digraphs like "th". I'm not a native English speaker so sometimes don't enunciate the way he thinks is proper.

We had a big blow over this again today. It makes me wonder if he's just being plain insensitive or if I need to hire a voice coach. My professional career has not suffered at all as a result of this. In fact, nobody has ever complained before about the way I speak.

What do you girls think? What can I do to solve this marital problem?

Re: Real Marital Problem or Insenstive Husband?

Im sorry but if you are having a marital problem about the way you prononce words I think there might be bigger problems! Maybe you guys should see a therapist

Re: Real Marital Problem or Insenstive Husband?

i tihnk he sounds extremely insensitive and clearly oblivious to your culture and language.

i don't think this is a majorproblem, but if he's this insensitive about something minor like that, i would worry about how he would react to something really important.

Re: Real Marital Problem or Insenstive Husband?

What does he say when you talk to him about his complaints? Sometimes when my DH and I are fighting, even the sound of him breathing bothers me! Maybe there was something else really wrong, but this was easier for him to complain about?

Re: Real Marital Problem or Insenstive Husband?

WOW.... English is not my native language either and I moved when I was an adult so the pronunciation is not easy to change. I totally understand.

I would have a fit if DH made any comments. I have asked him to tell me if I pronunciate a word the wrong way but we don't have arguments about it. He accepts me for who I am.

I have considered a pronunciation class myself but never found anything.

Re: Real Marital Problem or Insenstive Husband?

English is not DH's native language and he's asked me to correct him if she's pronouncing a word incorrectly or not using it in the proper context. I'll only do this when we're alone, never in front of others. I'm not sure why this is turning in to arguments between the two of you. If he's correcting you, he should only do it if he's trying to help and even then, should be careful how he does it. Aruging with you or making you feel self concious about it, to me seems a bit insensitive on his part.

Re: Real Marital Problem or Insenstive Husband?

Insenstive Husband

I'm really sorry if I were you, I would sit him down and tell him how this makes you feel.

Re: Real Marital Problem or Insenstive Husband?

I agree with everyone esle - totally insensitive!!!

I have an idea - why don't you have him try to speak YOUR language and let him know if he is pronouncing things perfectly?

Re: Real Marital Problem or Insenstive Husband?

both dh and i are native speakers (it was my second language, but i learned it at an early age). he speaks horribly. drives me crazy.

i ONLY say something when we're alone. i've also made a point to tell him and remind him that i only do it because it could affect his job.

that being said, i agree with another poster... maybe there is something else going on. when dh and i are having money problems, we fight about EVERYTHING.

one thing i've learned is: in an intimate relationship, you let each other know about your vulnerabilities... so when you fight, you're more likely to use them to hurt one another. i hope that made sense.

i hope you guys can figure what the underlying factor is.

Re: Real Marital Problem or Insenstive Husband?

Thanks everyone. I'm glad I'm not the minority when it comes to sensing insensitivity.

I also think, as some you have pointed out, that there's something else bothering him besides my pronunciation. I think he may be insecure (I just got a higher paying job and I'm a few years younger) and wants to point out my flaws to make himself feel better.

OR he's bored so is looking for some drama. :P We've been married one year and are both very content with life so perhaps the cage needs abit of rattling...

Re: Real Marital Problem or Insenstive Husband?

Re: Real Marital Problem or Insenstive Husband?

That's a good idea lipglossjunky...

But the guy can't even pronounce my real name let alone try to learn my language!

Re: Real Marital Problem or Insenstive Husband?

Re: Real Marital Problem or Insenstive Husband?

sounds quite nitpickey to me

Re: Real Marital Problem or Insenstive Husband?