Posted By |
Message |
PrincessRose
LIF Infant
Member since 5/05 254 total posts
Name: Rachel
|
REALLY Funny Email Fwd (xpost from LIW)
Just got it from Mom, and honestly this one trumps EVERY SINGLE OTHER E-mail forward in HISTORY.
Thank you
I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me your e-mail forwards over the past few years. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.
Because of your concern..
I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under G-d" on their cans.
I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer shop at Target since! they are French and don't support our troops.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.
I no longer eat prepackaged foods because the estrogens they contain will turn me gay.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer go to bars because someone will drug me and take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
Thanks to you, I have learned that G-d only answers my prayers if I forward an email to 7 of my friends and make a wish within 5 minutes.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who has been dying for the past seven years.
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.
I will now return the favor.
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 60 seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will fly over your head at 5:00pm and the fleas of a thousand camels will infest your crotch. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of a friend of a friend's neighbor's cousin, and he's a lawyer.
Have a nice day!
|
Posted 9/9/05 10:36 AM |
|
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
Name:
|
Re: REALLY Funny Email Fwd (xpost from LIW)
PIMP
|
Posted 9/9/05 10:39 AM |
|
|
luvsbob4603
To a healthy 2013
Member since 5/05 21840 total posts
Name: To a brand new year to a healthier me
|
Re: REALLY Funny Email Fwd (xpost from LIW)
Omg...too funny.
|
Posted 9/9/05 10:41 AM |
|
|
DonnaJoe708
Hello
Member since 5/05 4002 total posts
Name:
|
Re: REALLY Funny Email Fwd (xpost from LIW)
|
Posted 9/9/05 10:42 AM |
|
|
LFitzy79
can hardly wait
Member since 5/05 2650 total posts
Name: Lauren
|
Re: REALLY Funny Email Fwd (xpost from LIW)
LMAO
|
Posted 9/9/05 10:47 AM |
|
|
Aga
hello baby Albert
Member since 9/05 7750 total posts
Name: Aga
|
Re: REALLY Funny Email Fwd (xpost from LIW)
too damn funny
|
Posted 9/9/05 11:00 AM |
|
|
Kate
*****
Member since 5/05 7557 total posts
Name: Kate
|
Re: REALLY Funny Email Fwd (xpost from LIW)
|
Posted 9/9/05 11:34 AM |
|
|
FelAndJon
needs to update her avatar pic
Member since 6/05 10212 total posts
Name: Felice (aka LuckyBride2004)
|
Re: REALLY Funny Email Fwd (xpost from LIW)
That is perfect!!!!
|
Posted 9/9/05 12:14 PM |
|
|
AJsMommy122
Stop 2 smell the roses
Member since 5/05 2048 total posts
Name: Maxine
|
Re: REALLY Funny Email Fwd (xpost from LIW)
TOO FUNNY
|
Posted 9/9/05 12:23 PM |
|
|
heidla
Me and the guys
Member since 5/05 4024 total posts
Name: Heidi
|
Re: REALLY Funny Email Fwd (xpost from LIW)
|
Posted 9/9/05 12:45 PM |
|
|
robcoll1002
My Beautiful Babies
Member since 5/05 2073 total posts
Name: Colleen
|
Re: REALLY Funny Email Fwd (xpost from LIW)
|
Posted 9/9/05 6:10 PM |
|
|
Jax430
Hi!
Member since 5/05 18919 total posts
Name: Jackie
|
Re: REALLY Funny Email Fwd (xpost from LIW)
LMAO!!!!
|
Posted 9/9/05 6:21 PM |
|
|