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REALLY Funny Email Fwd (xpost from LIW)

Posted By Message

PrincessRose
LIF Infant

Member since 5/05

254 total posts

Name:
Rachel

REALLY Funny Email Fwd (xpost from LIW)

Just got it from Mom, and honestly this one trumps EVERY SINGLE OTHER E-mail forward in HISTORY.

Thank you

I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to
send me your e-mail forwards over the past few years. Thank
you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.

Because of your concern..

I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under G-d" on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since! they are French and don't support our troops.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer eat prepackaged foods because the estrogens they contain will turn me gay.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer go to bars because someone will drug me and take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

Thanks to you, I have learned that G-d only answers my prayers if I forward an email to 7 of my friends and make a wish within 5 minutes.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who has been dying for the past seven years.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I will now return the favor.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 60 seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will fly over your head at 5:00pm and the fleas of a thousand camels will infest your crotch. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of a friend of a friend's neighbor's cousin, and he's a lawyer.

Have a nice day!

Posted 9/9/05 10:36 AM
 
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year

Member since 5/05

17334 total posts

Name:

Re: REALLY Funny Email Fwd (xpost from LIW)

PIMP Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 9/9/05 10:39 AM
 

luvsbob4603
To a healthy 2013

Member since 5/05

21840 total posts

Name:
To a brand new year to a healthier me

Re: REALLY Funny Email Fwd (xpost from LIW)

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Omg...too funny.

Posted 9/9/05 10:41 AM
 

DonnaJoe708
Hello

Member since 5/05

4002 total posts

Name:

Re: REALLY Funny Email Fwd (xpost from LIW)

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Posted 9/9/05 10:42 AM
 

LFitzy79
can hardly wait

Member since 5/05

2650 total posts

Name:
Lauren

Re: REALLY Funny Email Fwd (xpost from LIW)

LMAOChat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 9/9/05 10:47 AM
 

Aga
hello baby Albert

Member since 9/05

7750 total posts

Name:
Aga

Re: REALLY Funny Email Fwd (xpost from LIW)

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon too damn funny

Posted 9/9/05 11:00 AM
 

Kate
*****

Member since 5/05

7557 total posts

Name:
Kate

Re: REALLY Funny Email Fwd (xpost from LIW)

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Posted 9/9/05 11:34 AM
 

FelAndJon
needs to update her avatar pic

Member since 6/05

10212 total posts

Name:
Felice (aka LuckyBride2004)

Re: REALLY Funny Email Fwd (xpost from LIW)

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon That is perfect!!!!

Posted 9/9/05 12:14 PM
 

AJsMommy122
Stop 2 smell the roses

Member since 5/05

2048 total posts

Name:
Maxine

Re: REALLY Funny Email Fwd (xpost from LIW)

TOO FUNNY Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 9/9/05 12:23 PM
 

heidla
Me and the guys

Member since 5/05

4024 total posts

Name:
Heidi

Re: REALLY Funny Email Fwd (xpost from LIW)

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Posted 9/9/05 12:45 PM
 

robcoll1002
My Beautiful Babies

Member since 5/05

2073 total posts

Name:
Colleen

Re: REALLY Funny Email Fwd (xpost from LIW)

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Posted 9/9/05 6:10 PM
 

Jax430
Hi!

Member since 5/05

18919 total posts

Name:
Jackie

Re: REALLY Funny Email Fwd (xpost from LIW)

LMAO!!!! Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 9/9/05 6:21 PM
 
 

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