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nancy6485
So in love
Member since 10/05 3363 total posts
Name:
Nancy
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Repeating a grade
Does any one have experience with grade retention?
Currently, I am really struggling with the choice to keep my son back to repeat 3rd grade or allow him to move forward to 4th.
A little backround: DS has a later bday 10/24, he started K at age 4. We then moved to MA and they have an earlier cutoff; DS is techinically 'a year ahead' in his class. He is currently 8 years old (turning 9 in Oct) and in 3rd grade. His classmates are all 9 going on 10, he is the youngest in the grade. He is struggling with school, most subjects including reading, math, language arts; he gets taken out for group reading several times per week. His reading level is currently at 'beginnger' 3rd grade level, his most recent math scores were in the 60's. I had a conference with his teachers today and they are suggesting to keep him back to repeat 3rd grade and being that he is the youngest, it will put him in class with children his own age and give him the opportunity to 'mature'. He is obviously younger and a lot more immature than boys in his class now, which may or may not play a role in his academics. His teacher is worried since he is struggling this year, 4th grade will be much more difficult for him, since it's more independent. He is a bundle of energy and it is difficult for him to focus - which he knows he struggles with.
I worry about DS emotionally. I don't want him singled out or to feel punished. He can be hard on himself. I know i cannot protect him forever, but what if I hold him back and he regresses, socially and academically? Ultimately, it is OUR choice; but i'm terrified of making the wrong choice.
Im hoping someone can shed some light, from experience on the topic. THANK YOU!
Message edited 4/30/2013 10:42:23 PM.
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Posted 4/30/13 10:27 PM  |
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iluvmynutty
Mom to E&M
Member since 12/08 1762 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Repeating a grade
TBH, it sounds like there is more going here than just immaturity. I would write a letter to the head of the special Ed department requesting an intial referral to the CSE (committee of special education). Ask for psychological, educational and speech testing. By 3rd grade an Oct birthday is usually not a factor in struggling in school. Even though he is now in a school with an earlier age cut off and everyone is a little older than your DS, he has been taught/exposed to the K,1st,2nd and 3rd grade curriculum. I would rule out any learning/academic delays before jumping to the conclusion that its immaturity and holding him back. I would also investigate the medical piece of him being "a bundle of energy and having difficulty focusing". He could have ADHD.
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| Posted 5/1/13 5:19 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Repeating a grade
Posted by iluvmynutty
TBH, it sounds like there is more going here than just immaturity.
**edited**
I would rule out any learning/academic delays before jumping to the conclusion that its immaturity and holding him back. .
I agree with this.
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| Posted 5/1/13 9:36 AM |
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pnbplus1
Family
Member since 5/09 5751 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Repeating a grade
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by iluvmynutty
TBH, it sounds like there is more going here than just immaturity.
**edited**
I would rule out any learning/academic delays before jumping to the conclusion that its immaturity and holding him back. .
I agree with this.
I also think you should have him eval'd for learning disabilities. Were he in NY he'd be on the younger side and with kids closer in age to him but he'd still be expected to be performing at a 3rd grade academic level.
Were you to decide to hold him back, I would NOT keep him in the same school. I would put him in a different private/public school. I cannot imagine how difficult it would be for him to see his friends from his current grade but not be with them in class. Kids are very aware of what is going on by that age and i'd fear that they would comment on his getting held back and possibly taunt him. That could def be detrimental to his self-esteem.
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| Posted 5/1/13 9:56 AM |
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snowprincess
My happy babies
Member since 3/06 3428 total posts
Name:
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Repeating a grade
also if you decide to hold him back - is it possible to send him to another elementary school in the district or a private school - this way he starts fresh and more about the new school new birthday cut off
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| Posted 5/1/13 9:56 AM |
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Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses
Member since 5/05 15952 total posts
Name:
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Re: Repeating a grade
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by iluvmynutty
TBH, it sounds like there is more going here than just immaturity.
**edited**
I would rule out any learning/academic delays before jumping to the conclusion that its immaturity and holding him back. .
I agree with this.
As a teacher, I totally agree with this.
From my experience in NYS, we always testing for any learning disabilities, etc first. In my experience, the issue can often be addressed with support and retention is not necessary.
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| Posted 5/1/13 3:44 PM |
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nancy6485
So in love
Member since 10/05 3363 total posts
Name:
Nancy
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Re: Repeating a grade
Posted by iluvmynutty
TBH, it sounds like there is more going here than just immaturity. I would write a letter to the head of the special Ed department requesting an intial referral to the CSE (committee of special education). Ask for psychological, educational and speech testing. By 3rd grade an Oct birthday is usually not a factor in struggling in school. Even though he is now in a school with an earlier age cut off and everyone is a little older than your DS, he has been taught/exposed to the K,1st,2nd and 3rd grade curriculum. I would rule out any learning/academic delays before jumping to the conclusion that its immaturity and holding him back. I would also investigate the medical piece of him being "a bundle of energy and having difficulty focusing". He could have ADHD.
I should have stated in my original post that DS was diagnosed with ADHD in Kindergarten. He followed an IEP up until last year, it was discontinued because completed all of the goals. I called the school today to find about reinstating his IEP for services. I dont want him suffering academically or socially.
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| Posted 5/1/13 9:15 PM |
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