Room Cleaning

DS is 10. His room is DISGUSTING. Like, to the point that I would not be completely surprised to find vermin in it. Toys, piles of dirty laundry, dirt, dust, sticky empty cups, books off the bookshelves, etc.

This is DS's ONE responsibility. He has to keep his room clean, and bring his laundry down to the basement for me to wash. That's it.

The room situation has been going on for MONTHS. DH and I keep telling him we are going to go up there and clean it for him, which will mean throwing everything out that doesn't have a home. I know we have been wishy washy about this, but it needs to get done. It's gross.

I mentioned this to DS's friend's mom and she says she cleans her DS's room for him. She straightens it every day. Is this the norm? Am I being a crazy mom for expecting DS to keep an 8x8 area clean and bring his laundry to the basement?

So, 2 questions:

1- Do you expect your 10ish year old to keep his or her room clean with little to no assistance from you?

2- At this point would you go up there and clean it all out as a lesson or let him live in squalor?

Re: Room Cleaning

I expect my 7 yr old to keep his room clean. It is his job and on weekends he must clean up beforegoing out to play...BUT I wipe things down and vacuum...I think by ten he should do that for himself.

With that being said I am constantly on him for this and he NEVER has any socks cause he constantly loses them...I mean I am not searching the house to wash his socks but I can not figure out what the hell he does with them...I am thinking somewhere deep in his room is the sock monster! And no his room is never spotless, but it mostly looks ok.

Re: Room Cleaning

ANd yes, I think at this point if it is bothering you clean it as a lesson to him. If you find anything he really wants put it aside and hold it over his head. Each week he can keep his room clean, he can earn something new back. It might be too overwhelming for him at this point but maybe that extra push will get him going. GL.

Re: Room Cleaning

Have you taught him how to do it? To just say clean your room might be over whelming for a 10 year old boy. He might think that it is to far gone or just not care.
I would start with saying this weekend I am going to teach you how to clean. Then make piles of stuff, keep, toss, donate. Make him help you sort. If he doesn't help well then he can loose a favorite toy or game or privilege. I would then show him how to make a bed. Tell him to take the sheets off. Then I would say I expect you to change your bed sheets once a week. We have a rule, no food anywhere else but the kitchen. This way there is no sticky messes. Good luck.

Re: Room Cleaning

my SS has learned to fix his room before he leaves to school. If I find a filth he will be restricted of going out during the weekends and so on.. It a routine we implied as soon as he moved in with is b/c children can be messy and if you leave it up to them their room will be a HOT MESS..

My sister implied this since my nephew was 5. and he fixes his room before he washes he mouth in the morning. Its all depends on the strategies you play with them.

Re: Room Cleaning

I absolutely expect my kids to keep their rooms clean. My DD who is 10 does an excellent job!! My son was a little more difficult to "train". I actually brought a big black bag in there and started bagging up his stuff. He knew I was serious. He has been pretty good ever since. If he doesn't do it he loses privileges, so he usually does. HTH

Re: Room Cleaning

DS just turned 8, and for well over a year, he's had to keep his room tidy, including making his bed. His allowance is partially based on this during the week (we do a point chart, and he gets points for cleaning his room and making his bed).

By 10 he absolutely should keep his room at least "not disgusting".

DD is turning 5 this month, and we're going to start having her tidy her room soon.

Re: Room Cleaning

My 4 year old keeps her room tidy. She puts her dirty clothing in the hamper and puts any clean, folded clothes that I leave on her chair away. She also makes sure her room is clean before she goes to bed. Maybe the fact that she is a girl makes her neater and more conscientious. I am not sure.

I definitely would have expectations about him cleaning his room before play, TV watching or outdoor time.

Re: Room Cleaning

My 9 year old and my (almost) 6 year old have been cleaning their rooms, making the beds, bringing down their laundry...etc...since they were both 4 years old.

I started with the bed making. They wake up and IMMEDIATELY make their beds EVERYDAY...and I NEVER have to tell them to do it. EVER. It's just done...and part of their morning routine.

The cleaning is picking any laundry, shoes off the floor and putting it away. My 9 year old cleans his desk, vacuums, and sometimes dusts. My (almost) 6 year old tidies his room and swiffers (he had hard wood floors).

I run a very tight ship...it is hard at first to start the routine...but once it has been established it becomes just that, a routine.

My kids just do it...never a complaint, because they know it just needs to be done.

Re: Room Cleaning

Re: Room Cleaning

My dd's room is like this. She basically uses it as a garbage can.

We have taught her, given her things to organize the room. Organized it with and for her. Given her a hamper to put her clothes in.

It is an everyday thing with her and something we can't back down on or it will get disgusting again.

Re: Room Cleaning

My 9 year old has to clean his floor but I'm the one that goes in to find things to toss out. I found his ROCK collection, which I told him was being moved outside.

We do have a cleaning lady every other week so the night before she comes they usually are frantically trying to put away things.

The kids have to bring their laundry down.

I have gone in & bagged his toys, etc & left them in the closet for well over a month.