SAHM's with 2 kids

I was wondering what it is like to be a SAHM with 2 kids? I am seriously considering it since almost all of my paycheck goes to daycare. I thought of working P/T to bring a little bit of money. Is it hard with 2 kids? Caiden is 3 and Connor is almost 4.5 months old. Please share your experiences. I'm just worried I won't be able to provide for them developmentally like the school does. I won't know what and how to teach them what they need to learn? I've always HAD to be a working mom so my kids have always gone to daycare.

I'm really missing my kids and HATING my job (can't find another one). It's really depressing missing out on them growing up for a job I'm miserable at. I've already missed so much with Caiden it just breaks my heart, and now it would be like that with Connor.

I'm also hoping that if I am able to stay home that when the time comes my DH might agree on another baby if medically I can still have one! We won't have to worry about all these daycare bills!

Anyway, if you could share your thoughts about this I'd greatly appreciate it. Thanks!

Message edited 1/25/2007 8:56:36 AM.

Re: SAHM's with 2 kids

As a working SAHM, I definintely work one million times harder now than I did when I worked in the office before kids. It is hard....rewarding, but hard. You have to be "on" all the time and it can be great fun at times and absoultely draining at times (I'm just being totally honest here!) I have Jack in a toddler preschool M-W-F from 9-11:30 for the reason you mentioned...I wanted him in a structured learning ennvironment, not to mention around other kids. It helps greatly now that Molly is here and I;m working from home still. Plus he is learning a ton...knows all his colors, a bunch of letter, his first and last name, shapes, etc and he just turned 2 in October.

And I think it is important for you and your DH to realize that just because you are home all day will not make you June Cleaver with a roast on the table everynight and DH sliipers waiting when he gets home. The house will get messy, you'll eat sandwiches for dinner, but in the end its worth it since you will be home with your kids.

Re: SAHM's with 2 kids

Thanks for being honest! I was worried about the school thing. The problem is that at least down here you have to pay for even preschool even if it's only for a few hours. I believe in NY it's free, right? It's part of the school system? The point of me staying home would be for us to save money from daycare bills, so having to spend money on preschool would defeat the purpose, you know? I don't know what to do. My DH wants me to be able to stay home. He's never wanted me to work. I just want Caiden to continue thriving in his school environment and Connor to have the same. It just costs a lot of money here. I don't know what to do. It's a catch22 thing!

Re: SAHM's with 2 kids

I agree, it's hard but worth it. The house is messy, I mainly clean up when they've gone to bed. And there are days where I feel like if I hear "Mommy" one more time I'm going to go insane. But those days are rare.

As far as school, I think that in the 5 boros pre-school is free through the public school system, but not so on LI. We plan on putting Sarah in school when she's 3. But she'll be 2 next month and can count to 20 in english and 5 in spanish, identify the numbers 1-10 when she sees them, she knows the alphabet, she knows her name, she knows a bunch of colors, shapes, etc. So it can be done at home. We really want to put her in school for the social interaction part of it.

Good luck, I hope it works out for you.

Re: SAHM's with 2 kids

It certainly has time periods where I wonder if I'll ever get dinner on the table before 10 p.m. Last night I was home alone trying to feed them both dinner, give them both baths (I don't bathe them together because DD is still too young IMO), and get them in their beds. I was ready for bed shortly after that! But I really enjoy every minute.

We just enrolled Andrew in a preschool and it is not free. It's going to cost us close to $250 a month. It's 3x a week. He'll be 3 in May and he'll start in September. While he already knows a lot of things like the alphabet, numbers, his name and address , he needs some socialization. THat will give me one on one time with DD that she has not had yet.

Re: SAHM's with 2 kids

First... I just want to say that children under 3 need one thing the most and that is love from their parents. It bothers me when women say they are afraid that they can't provide developmentally what daycares can. This is society's fault I believe and the emphasis on institutionalized childcare today. But the real fact is that you actually can do better. You are his mother and that is what babies need the most. Research has actually shown that babies under 3 do better with one primary caregiver than in a large group setting like a daycare. Not to demean daycare, since my dd goes 3x a week, but I wouldn't second guess my own parenting skill one bit or think that daycare cuold do a better job. There are plenty of daycares that do a terrific job, and everyone has a different situation, but to think that they can do better in raising your child is a silly notion.

There are plenty of things you could do with him outside of the house such as classes at the library, going to the park or the beach etc. I never went to daycare, nor did I attend nursery school. My first school experience was Kindergarten and I believe I turned out fine. I have a bachelors degree and a career in Marketing.

From reading previous posts of yours, isn't your oldest having some problems at daycare anyway? It could be because he misses you and perhaps the daycare isnt a good fit for him at the present time. These years are fleeting so if you could afford to stay home and/or you dont like your job, I would consider a change. If you are essentially working at a job (not a career) to pay for daycare then you have to ask yourself if it is worth it both in terms of finance and emotionally. Good luck - I hope you make a decision that makes you happy. I didnt mean to be harsh, I just think that mothers should feel confident that they can do a good job with their kids.