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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
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Scheduling the Holidays-help with our unique situation
So, my DH works nights as most of you know. He has a rotating shift. Christmas Eve this year is his first night back, and he has to work Christmas night too.
Last year, we went to a late dinner at my parents in NYC, then he went to work and DS and I went home. It was torture and a HUGE fight
Since my extended family is out here, we are celebrating Christmas dinner at my uncle's house in Brookhaven.
Since Christmas Eve is DH's first night back, he will most likely be awake all of the day but nap at night, so I asked my parents to come for a brunch/lunch with my SMIL and the kids.
My parents discussed it and asked my sister (who lives with them) and they asked if they could come for brunch on Christmas DAY before we all go to my uncles. Mainly because they don't like to travel both days (I get that) and because my sister has to work (she writes for a blog, she actually works from their apartment)
Again, since Christmas Eve is DH's first night back, he would be able to come home, do presents with DS and I get some sleep and actually come to the big family Christmas Day.....but not if my parents come over.
I'm so torn. I know DH prefers them coming on Christmas Eve, I prefer it too...
ETA-One more thing, my parents were good with Christmas Eve brunch but changed their minds when my sister said she had to work..
TIA
Message edited 12/4/2009 3:21:47 PM.
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Posted 12/4/09 3:18 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Smalls72
OMG, time is going way to fast
Member since 9/08 3797 total posts
Name:
Bali
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Re: Scheduling the Holidays-help with our unique situation
I have no advice, just some  . I always have the same problem with DH's schedule. He also work a midnight rotating shift.
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| Posted 12/4/09 3:23 PM |
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kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!
Member since 6/06 13519 total posts
Name:
Kerry
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Re: Scheduling the Holidays-help with our unique situation
why not still have your family over for the brunch without your sister?
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| Posted 12/4/09 3:23 PM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: Scheduling the Holidays-help with our unique situation
Posted by kerrycec03
why not still have your family over for the brunch without your sister?
We'd love that
Kidding aside, my parents want to include her
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| Posted 12/4/09 3:27 PM |
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kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!
Member since 6/06 13519 total posts
Name:
Kerry
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Re: Scheduling the Holidays-help with our unique situation
Posted by KateDevine
Posted by kerrycec03
why not still have your family over for the brunch without your sister?
We'd love that
Kidding aside, my parents want to include her
but I would stick to my guns and say "you'll see your sister anyway the next day so this is a chance to see us"
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| Posted 12/4/09 3:28 PM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: Scheduling the Holidays-help with our unique situation
Posted by kerrycec03
Posted by KateDevine
Posted by kerrycec03
why not still have your family over for the brunch without your sister?
We'd love that
Kidding aside, my parents want to include her
but I would stick to my guns and say "you'll see your sister anyway the next day so this is a chance to see us"
Yeah. My sister has the whipped, they won't do it.
My parents like the idea of our smaller family doing something by ourselves and not leaving anyone out...
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| Posted 12/4/09 3:30 PM |
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ddunne2
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 4189 total posts
Name:
Doreen
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Re: Scheduling the Holidays-help with our unique situation
I think your husbands schedule and what is more convenient for him trumps your sister's need to be home to write her blog.
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| Posted 12/4/09 3:44 PM |
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rojerono
Happiest.
Member since 8/06 13803 total posts
Name:
Jeannie
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Re: Scheduling the Holidays-help with our unique situation
if they can't make it Christmas Eve or for Christmas brunch, then I would tell them that you will see them at your uncle's house that evening.
Could they sleep over at your home on Christmas Eve? Can your sister bring a laptop and you can promise to designate a quiet space for her to work?
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| Posted 12/4/09 3:52 PM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: Scheduling the Holidays-help with our unique situation
Posted by rojerono
if they can't make it Christmas Eve or for Christmas brunch, then I would tell them that you will see them at your uncle's house that evening.
Could they sleep over at your home on Christmas Eve? Can your sister bring a laptop and you can promise to designate a quiet space for her to work?
No, we don't have the room for us even, my 18 year old sleeps in our dining room
Yeah, it pains me to do that, my parents are really good to us
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| Posted 12/4/09 3:54 PM |
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Salason
♥
Member since 6/05 9878 total posts
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Re: Scheduling the Holidays-help with our unique situation
Posted by ddunne2
I think your husbands schedule and what is more convenient for him trumps your sister's need to be home to write her blog.
Yeah I have to agree with this. It is so hard to have to leave your family and work on a holiday so I'd try to do what's best for him. At least your sis will get the big Christmas with everyone. He won't. I would just explain that to your parents but I think they'd understand.
Just curious... why does your sister have to work from your parents apt? If it's on the internet can't she do that from your house?
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| Posted 12/4/09 4:24 PM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
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Re: Scheduling the Holidays-help with our unique situation
Posted by Salason
Posted by ddunne2
I think your husbands schedule and what is more convenient for him trumps your sister's need to be home to write her blog.
Yeah I have to agree with this. It is so hard to have to leave your family and work on a holiday so I'd try to do what's best for him. At least your sis will get the big Christmas with everyone. He won't. I would just explain that to your parents but I think they'd understand.
Just curious... why does your sister have to work from your parents apt? If it's on the internet can't she do that from your house?
Yeah, the thing that bothers me the most is that if they come on Christmas Day, he has to skip Christmas with everyone, but if they just came on Christmas Eve, he could do both.
She could work from here, I think the car ride is the problem (though she has a BB) because she works like 6am-4pm or something like that...
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| Posted 12/4/09 5:25 PM |
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Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
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Re: Scheduling the Holidays-help with our unique situation
That sucks 
We lucked out and DH only has to work Christmas (well licked out as he doesn't have to work both days). Christmas Eve is his scheduled day off. I decided to do Christmas Eve here and I will stay home with the kids on Christmas since we will be sad without DH home. This is our first year with this schedule and I already know next Christmas he is working both nights
I would honestly do what works best for you and your family
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| Posted 12/4/09 5:59 PM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
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Re: Scheduling the Holidays-help with our unique situation
Posted by Stacey1403
That sucks
We lucked out and DH only has to work Christmas (well licked out as he doesn't have to work both days). Christmas Eve is his scheduled day off. I decided to do Christmas Eve here and I will stay home with the kids on Christmas since we will be sad without DH home. This is our first year with this schedule and I already know next Christmas he is working both nights
I would honestly do what works best for you and your family
Chris has off next year, of course it's our year to host too
It's so hard. I think DH will be insulted that if they come Christmas morning, he won't be able to go to my uncle's and see everyone else, adn I don't think he has seen the family (outside of my parents and sister) since July
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| Posted 12/4/09 6:03 PM |
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CkGm
They get so big, so fast :(
Member since 5/05 13848 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Scheduling the Holidays-help with our unique situation
Sounds like your sister can be a bit more flexible but is being a baby. I would tell them that due to DH's work schedule and the need to get some rest, this is the only way it could work. Can you sister work from anywhere that has a computer???
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| Posted 12/4/09 6:05 PM |
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Ang-Rich
Beyond Compare
Member since 5/05 17988 total posts
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Re: Scheduling the Holidays-help with our unique situation
My MIL always says...YOUR family comes first so if Chris would be best to have the eve opening presents and then getting some sleep in order to be at the family party on Christmas day without your parents...I say do that. You'll see them at your uncle's house later in the day.
And I know how wonderful your parents are so I don't say that lightly BUT C3's time with his parents will always be more important and at this age they understand more. Let these memories include as much of DH as possible.
Message edited 12/4/2009 7:18:57 PM.
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| Posted 12/4/09 7:17 PM |
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randella
Love my little man
Member since 8/05 16290 total posts
Name:
Randi
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Re: Scheduling the Holidays-help with our unique situation
I loathe holidays for this very reason.. I hate all the juggling.
I would still ask them to come over and plan to do what works best for you and your DH.
Can you set your sis up in a room where she can work and write?
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| Posted 12/4/09 8:36 PM |
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waterspout4
My loves
Member since 5/06 19150 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Scheduling the Holidays-help with our unique situation
I am trying to process all of this. As you know, we have juggled many holidays around both our rotating schedules.
What I am reading is: He does plan on going to your uncle's Christmas bash later that day. At that bash will also be the exact same people that want to come earlier that day? (Plus many more I am sure.)
If your family wants to do a Christmas brunch thing, why not do without DH? I am sure they really just want to spend it with C3, without the extended family all over him. Why not get out of the house with them? There ARE places open on Christmas. (Trust me, I know because of the exact same situation!)
If they don't like this idea, then they will just have to suck it up and see you all later. Chris should not jeopardize himself because a few people want to hang out. I know what lack of sleep means, especially while on the road. I know what it's like to try to keep everyone happy, but you need to be safe and think of YOUR family first.
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| Posted 12/5/09 2:34 AM |
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Gertyrae
Peace out Homies!
Member since 5/05 20046 total posts
Name:
Gerty ®
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Re: Scheduling the Holidays-help with our unique situation
Well...the easiest and probably best thing would be to stick to your guns and have it Christmas Eve....but since I have family that is difficult sometimes also, I will bet money that you end up accomodating your sister. It just always ends up that way - DH will get no sleep and will just suck it up while your sister gets her way.
All I can say is and we are in the same boat since I have the EXACT same schedule as your DH and we are having Christmas issues also.
I guess just thank God he will be off both days next year!
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| Posted 12/5/09 7:08 AM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Scheduling the Holidays-help with our unique situation
Posted by Ang-Rich
My MIL always says...YOUR family comes first so if Chris would be best to have the eve opening presents and then getting some sleep in order to be at the family party on Christmas day without your parents...I say do that. You'll see them at your uncle's house later in the day.
And I know how wonderful your parents are so I don't say that lightly BUT C3's time with his parents will always be more important and at this age they understand more. Let these memories include as much of DH as possible.
ITA.
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| Posted 12/5/09 7:22 AM |
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