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Jul1013
LIF Toddler
Member since 4/08 375 total posts
Name:
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Secret Posters
So, I don't want this to offend anyone, so please please don't take it that way, but....I don't understand why some people are "Secret Posters". Especially on this board...so many girls are going through so much to get pregnant and offering each other support on this board. So if you get a BFP, why keep it a secret. I guess I just don't see the point when there are so many girls pouring their hearts out on here, going through MC's and fertility issues that I would think you would want everyone to know you got a BFP, and god forbid if something happened, you could talk with the rest of us having issues..I don't know, I'm sorry, I just don't see the point in creating a fake name on this board when there are so many girls having issues TTC anyway...I really don't mean to offend anyone..I just don't get it... Sorry......
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Posted 6/29/08 7:47 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!
Member since 12/05 20105 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Secret Posters
People do it because they have friends, families, co-workers, etc who read the boards and don't want to announce yet to those people, yet have questions they want to ask, or are so excited, they want to share with someone.
Remember this is a public forum, and anyone with access to the internet can see what is posted here.
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| Posted 6/29/08 8:35 AM |
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sleepie76
enjoying every minute
Member since 12/07 3881 total posts
Name:
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Re: Secret Posters
I think it could be the same idea behind waiting 12 weeks to tell people.
They are in hiding for now, until they are further along and know that everything is okay.
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| Posted 6/29/08 8:47 AM |
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Aquarius
LIF Infant
Member since 5/08 309 total posts
Name:
Randi
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Re: Secret Posters
This is my "in hiding" screen name-- which I am using to post on Pregnancy and ask questions, etc.
I created one so I can still take advantage of what this site has to offer, in the overwhelming first trimester-- while still "controlling" who knows our news.
As the other posters said, this is a public forum-- and as much as you may not *know* anyone on here IRL-- who knows who may be lurking.
I personally had an experience on LIW where I thought I was just venting, etc. And guess what, it came back to bite me in the arse and I would have never guessed in a million years that this person would be secretly reading my posts.
*I* personally don't get why there are so many posts dedicated to why people can't understand the concept of an alias screen name. People just want to protect their privacy for the time being, until they are ready to share their news with the world. For those especially who have had difficulty, it's very scary sharing your news.
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| Posted 6/29/08 9:03 AM |
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beautyq115
New Year!
Member since 5/05 13729 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Secret Posters
I totally understand why people do it and I may consider doing it if I get a BFP too...I wouldn't want people to know until 12 weeks but I am sure there will be many many many questions in those weeks that I will need answered!
Good Luck Secret Posters!!   
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| Posted 6/29/08 9:18 AM |
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Jul1013
LIF Toddler
Member since 4/08 375 total posts
Name:
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Re: Secret Posters
I guess I can understand if you have someone you personally know that is on here. I don't, so I guess that's why I don't see the point. But to each there own We are gonna wait to tell our family when we get our next BFP, after our miscarriage last month, but since none of them are on here it won't matter for me to use my real name.
Good luck ladies
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| Posted 6/29/08 9:38 AM |
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asecretposter
LIF Adolescent
Member since 4/08 574 total posts
Name:
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Re: Secret Posters
Posted by SweetTooth
People do it because they have friends, families, co-workers, etc who read the boards and don't want to announce yet to those people, yet have questions they want to ask, or are so excited, they want to share with someone.
Remember this is a public forum, and anyone with access to the internet can see what is posted here.
This is precisely why I did it. I have colleagues that post and lurk here. I work in a profession where everyone knows each other, even if they work for different companies. If it got out I would not be able to control when I tell my boss.
I also suspect some nosy family members of lurking too.
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| Posted 6/29/08 9:44 AM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Secret Posters
I never had one but I understand why people do.
To TTC and then find out you have IF issues only to need surgery, followed by one unsuccessful IUI, to move onto another only to get a BFP resulting in an m/c, to skip a cycle, have another IUI with ANOTHER m/c, and again skip ANOTHER cycle, have ANOTHER unsuccessful IUI to finally get a BFP that sticks for a healthy pregnancy REALLY wears on a person.
I did not feel ANY obligation to share with the general public (and this is the internet BLASTED all over the world) before I felt secure enough that my pregnancy would last. If that offends or puts people off, too bad. Some can handle it some can't. At that point, I couldn't. Frankly, I HATE the posts that ask when and if people tested. To me, it is almost as bad as people asking "are you PG yet?". That is one of the main reasons why I stopped posting about my process both here and on the IF board. Some things in my life were meant to be personal. I already felt I shared too much and even still, there was no turning back as I got FM's from people who were "suspicious" of my pregnancy.
Message edited 6/29/2008 10:55:43 AM.
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| Posted 6/29/08 10:55 AM |
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Baby2love
LIF Infant
Member since 6/08 127 total posts
Name:
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Re: Secret Posters
I stupidly talked about this site and how helpful it was and now I know that family lurks on here. Sorry if people think that secret names are for people looking for attention since I don't know why people would think that is the intention Maybe for one or two out there but mostly its to protect your own privacy. I haven't even told my own Mom yet since my Dad has the biggest mouth in history and told everyone both times I was pregnant and tragically one ended in a loss.
So as much as I would LOVE so stop using both names on here since its a HUGE pain in the butt, I cannot take the chance that someone IRL finds out and blabs to my Mom. She would be devestated.
Message edited 6/29/2008 12:48:29 PM.
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| Posted 6/29/08 12:47 PM |
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autumn
Mommy to 2 divas
Member since 9/07 3389 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Secret Posters
The ladies on here do it because they have family and friends and possible co-workers who know that they go on this site, and want to wait until the coast is clear to annouce their wonderful news.
I won't be doing a alias name when I finally get my BFP. I will wait before announcing mine. HTH
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| Posted 6/29/08 1:18 PM |
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maybeamommy
Blessed beyond belief
Member since 10/07 17048 total posts
Name:
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Re: Secret Posters
I am under a secret name. I think it's a little different because I've posted under this name since we first started TTC in September/October. I have family and friends who are/could be lurking and we're not ready to tell everyone that we are trying.
I have come out over and over through FMs since there are a bunch of 07 girls on here that I don't mind sharing with. There are just a few specific people that we aren't comfortable telling, so I like the privacy of having this name.
Sometimes I am very tempted to come out officially, but I will when the time is right.
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| Posted 6/29/08 1:48 PM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: Secret Posters
Posted by maybeamommy
I am under a secret name. I think it's a little different because I've posted under this name since we first started TTC in September/October. I have family and friends who are/could be lurking and we're not ready to tell everyone that we are trying.
this was kind of my situation as well. i was on LIW and i knew i had lurkers there. if i had used the same name here, it would have been easy for people to find me. i didn't even tell anyone that we were seriously TTC until we were pregnant.
i never changed my name, but now i don't mind who knows me on here.
in the future (for other pregnancies), i doubt that i will create a fake name, but i can totally understand why some people do. however i can also understand why some people might dislike the posters who create fake names and then seem to enjoy teasing people about who they are, or or just enjoy making a big deal over the fact that they are posting under a secret name.
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| Posted 6/29/08 3:14 PM |
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Babe49
M...
Member since 4/08 1880 total posts
Name:
Maria
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Re: Secret Posters
I agree with the OP, but I only have one IRL friend on here, and no family on here at all. I'd probably tell my IRL friends (all 3 of them!) anyhow.
I feel that I came here to share the good, and the bad. When I get my BFP I will be happy to share. And if God forbid something goes wrong, I will also share and I know I will get support. I would probably wait to tell our parents, but as far as here and my close friends (I have no siblings), I will probably blab, I cannot keep that a secret, I have been trying too hard for this. My life has always been an open book.
I wanted to add also, that you can still be pregnant on the sly (under your real screenname) and come in here and ask questions and lurk on other boards. There is plenty of info on here if you search. Then when you feel safe, tell us the good news! Why make up a fake name? Just stay who you are and keep it a secret!
Message edited 6/29/2008 4:55:41 PM.
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| Posted 6/29/08 4:53 PM |
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nyteacher13
Three Under Four!!! :-)
Member since 8/06 6405 total posts
Name:
~ THERESA ~
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Re: Secret Posters
I created a fakie name because that was what I wanted to do. Dh and I wanted to wait a little bit to tell friends, and I didn't want them finding out on here first.
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| Posted 6/29/08 9:41 PM |
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nyteacher13
Three Under Four!!! :-)
Member since 8/06 6405 total posts
Name:
~ THERESA ~
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Re: Secret Posters
Posted by Babe49
I wanted to add also, that you can still be pregnant on the sly (under your real screenname) and come in here and ask questions and lurk on other boards. There is plenty of info on here if you search. Then when you feel safe, tell us the good news! Why make up a fake name? Just stay who you are and keep it a secret!
Yea, and asking specific questions a/b sonograms and posting specific questions on the Pregnancy board would not give it away? I disagree. Besides, people will do what they feel is best. To each his/her own, ya know?
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| Posted 6/29/08 9:43 PM |
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ReiRei13
Life is Good!!
Member since 1/08 6460 total posts
Name:
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Re: Secret Posters
I had a fake name for all of a week! i wanted to make sure my parents knew before I came out on here!
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| Posted 6/29/08 9:43 PM |
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TCOMF09
LIF Adult
Member since 7/07 1086 total posts
Name:
Laura
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Re: Secret Posters
Posted by SweetTooth
People do it because they have friends, families, co-workers, etc who read the boards and don't want to announce yet to those people, yet have questions they want to ask, or are so excited, they want to share with someone.
Remember this is a public forum, and anyone with access to the internet can see what is posted here.
THANK YOU!
For me...this is my exact reason. I don't know why it's so hard for people to realize this is the internet & everyone in the world can read what you type.
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| Posted 6/30/08 6:14 PM |
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TCOMF09
LIF Adult
Member since 7/07 1086 total posts
Name:
Laura
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Re: Secret Posters
Posted by Babe49
I agree with the OP, but I only have one IRL friend on here, and no family on here at all. I'd probably tell my IRL friends (all 3 of them!) anyhow.
You do realize you don't need to be "on here" in order to read the message boards...right?
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| Posted 6/30/08 6:21 PM |
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Makin-da-baby
Praying so hard this is it!!!
Member since 4/08 1391 total posts
Name:
Undercover Lover
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Re: Secret Posters
This is my "secret" name as well. I post on here a lot and I have friends on here that know me IRL. I also have many acquaintances I know IRL as well. I would prefer to tell them when I tell everyone else - that's just me.
The only people I would tell that when we get a BFP woulld be immediate family and a select few friends.
If I were to have a miscarriage or something like that, I would prefer to keep it between my DH and family.
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| Posted 6/30/08 8:39 PM |
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Re: Secret Posters
Posted by Jul1013
So, I don't want this to offend anyone, so please please don't take it that way, but....I don't understand why some people are "Secret Posters". Especially on this board...so many girls are going through so much to get pregnant and offering each other support on this board. So if you get a BFP, why keep it a secret. I guess I just don't see the point when there are so many girls pouring their hearts out on here, going through MC's and fertility issues that I would think you would want everyone to know you got a BFP, and god forbid if something happened, you could talk with the rest of us having issues..I don't know, I'm sorry, I just don't see the point in creating a fake name on this board when there are so many girls having issues TTC anyway...I really don't mean to offend anyone..I just don't get it... Sorry......
Don't mean to offend you, but how could you not understand? It's black and white. Some people may not want others to know because of: pressure by family, coworkers, want to wait to surprise all, or just plain superstition. If someone got a BFP, be happy for them, even though you don't know what they look like or who they are. Maybe they don't want everyone to know their life story, but still need the support.
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| Posted 7/1/08 5:23 PM |
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