Semi-Introducing Myself (and a question)

Hi Ladies! I am Nicole - DH and I got married back on April 5th and I will be joining you guys hopefully by next year. I have a question and I am sure some of you may have the answer.

How did you and DH broach the subject of TTC?

We talked about it before we were engaged and a few times before the wedding. We have been so crazy with the wedding, honeymoon and getting back to normal that when I brought it up last week I think I caught DH so off guard that he actually said we have too much going on to even speak about it now, I just wanted to see how everyone else started the conversation so its not like I am jumping on him for a definite answer.. KWIM? TIA

Re: Semi-Introducing Myself (and a question)

we agreed when we got married that we were not ready even to talk about it. a few month ago I asked if we were ready to start the coversation and to my surprise he said yes. we weighed all the option and decided to start now.

Re: Semi-Introducing Myself (and a question)

W had a bit of a "scare" during the honeymoon where I was a week late. We were both disappointed when we realized I wasn't PG and decided to start trying. It took us over a year and IVF to get pregnant so I'm glad we didn't wait!!

Re: Semi-Introducing Myself (and a question)

welcome to the board
IMO i would just kinda work it into regular conversation one day somehow.. casually.. and see what happens..

Re: Semi-Introducing Myself (and a question)

I think for us we just started discussing it as a possibility more and more. Eventually we felt we were ready to start trying.

Re: Semi-Introducing Myself (and a question)

we always talked about having kids. then the longer we were married (esp after the 1 year mark) the more people would ask us about kids. so eventually we just talked about it in the future tense. at some point DH must have noticed my baby fever and he said he wanted to wait. for a while he kept wanting to wait. one day he met me for lunch and said he was ready!

mentally for both of us it really wasnt as simple as it sounds in the story but in reality that is what happened. i think we both just realized that no matter what we say or think we will never ever really be ready - because we dont really know what we will be in for. so i think we just decided that the benefits outway the risks and since there will never be a perfect time - now is as good of a time as any to TTC #1!

thats it!

Re: Semi-Introducing Myself (and a question)

Thanks for the feedback - I am leaving the conversation alone for a little while - we are buying a home and he is a bit of a planner - once we are both sure we are financially sound in the new home, I am sure the conversation may peek out here and there... See you ladies soon hopefully!

Re: Semi-Introducing Myself (and a question)

Welcome to the boards! Once we got married everyone started asking us about kids..lol...and DH and I both agreed to wait a year. I went off BCP because I was tired being on it and we figured if we slipped up it would still be a blessing. I asked him if we could TTC a little earlier than a year because who knew how long it would take and he agreed....so we just started but it was kind of a slippery slope b/c I in no way wanted to pressure him. I'm glad he's on board now though!

Re: Semi-Introducing Myself (and a question)

For us it was more of an ongoing discussion than a one-time conversation.

Before we even got married, we gave kind of a few months span about when we wanted to start... and when that time came, we both were ready - so we started!

Re: Semi-Introducing Myself (and a question)

Before we got married we spoke about it. I had wanted to wait a year, DH said at least 2 years. So we compromised that we'd see how we felt after a year of marriage - when that time came, it turned out that *I* didn't feel ready. Since then, we set a timespan of when we would start trying and we talk about it often and we're both on board still, so looks like we're sticking to our plan.

Since you and your DH still have a lot going on with getting a new house and your DH liking to plan, I can see why he feels not ready yet. I'm sure once you guys settle down some, the conversation will be easier to have. Good luck!

Re: Semi-Introducing Myself (and a question)

we always knew we wanted to have children.. we actually planned on starting a year after our wedding.. but on our HM we just knew the time was right to start trying then and there!

i really think that with TTC.. you both will know when the right time is! it will just happen!