sensative topic - sister was groped this AM on the train...

typical NYC train - packed like sardines, during rush hour. sister was on the train, going to high school when she felt a guy touching her and made her uncomfortable. she got off at her stop, walked to school and the guy followed her. she approached the police, who escorted her to school. at school she told the guidance counselor, who determined she was too shaken up about it and asked my parents to pick her up.

i'm going to talk to her soon, and try to give her a "pep talk" about not letting scum bags like these scar her everyday commute.

does anyone have any tips/advice/websites i can reference for ways to deal with situations like these? thanks in advance

Re: sensative topic - sister was groped this AM on the train...

That guy is a sex offender, plain and simple. I am SO MAD for her.

I hope it never happens to her again.

If she can remember what he looks like she can make a police report. Even if she can't remember many details, making a report could help the police catch a guy OTHER people may have reported.

I wish I had better advice - maybe someone else on here does.

Re: sensative topic - sister was groped this AM on the train...

I punched the last guy that groped me, right in the face. Then yelled at him I punched him because he touched me, not once but twice.

Teach your sister to be vocal - she should yell out STOP TOUCHING ME. Chances are that someone will help her.
The guy followed her : she should have yelled out for help, gotten the attention of passerbys. She has to be assertive.

As for advise on how to deal with this, I don't know. Perhaps her guidance counselor can point you in the right direction.

Re: sensative topic - sister was groped this AM on the train...

I'm so sorry this happened to her!

I know she's a young girl, but she needs to know how to defend herself, if God forbid someone touched her and she had to.

Everyone is different, I have a much different personality, and even at a high school age, would've hit the guy, either punched, swung my bookbag at him, or something.

Can she meet some other classmates and go to school together?

Message edited 5/9/2011 1:53:08 PM.

Re: sensative topic - sister was groped this AM on the train...

Are you freakin kidding me? Not only did he freakin touch her, but he followed her too???

That person is 100% a sex offender and I wish she had yelled out, do not touch me! Or even "help" or something when she saw him following her. Thank goodness she approached the police and they escorted her.

And knowing your lil sis, I am even more FURIOUS! She's such a sweetheart and I'm sure she was just trying to get away from him, but I agree, tell her if anyone ever does that again, to yell out, let the people around know what's happening.

I'm so mad I can't even come up with some good advice. Ugh.

Re: sensative topic - sister was groped this AM on the train...

That is so scary. It's one thing for a pervy guy to take advantage of a crowded subway car (which is still wrong and disgusting in every way) but following her has taken it to a whole other level. I'm so sorry she had to experience this! Tell her next time to yell at him!

Re: sensative topic - sister was groped this AM on the train...

Most important thing she needs to learn is to use her voice - these type of offenders seek out and target women they think won't fight back. I was put in an awful situation a few months ago when I was jogging and a man tried to attack me. NOT A SINGLE PERSON came out of their home to help me. The only thing that got me out of the situation was my loud voice. I screamed at the top of my lungs and fought back, which scared him off.

I would suggest to your sister that she enroll in some basic self defense classes, where she'll gain more confidence to really assert herself and fight back anytime she is in a situation like that again. It only takes a moment, and in some, many situations, the only thing that will save a woman is her own voice

Re: sensative topic - sister was groped this AM on the train...

So sorry this happened.

She may need some couseling and a self defense class.

I took them when I was younger.

As far as the groping/touching, she needs to speak out and not feel badly about it.

Re: sensative topic - sister was groped this AM on the train...

Posted by Bxgell2

Most important thing she needs to learn is to use her voice - these type of offenders seek out and target women they think won't fight back.

-edited-

I would suggest to your sister that she enroll in some basic self defense classes, where she'll gain more confidence to really assert herself and fight back anytime she is in a situation like that again. It only takes a moment, and in some, many situations, the only thing that will save a woman is her own voice

Re: sensative topic - sister was groped this AM on the train...

Re: sensative topic - sister was groped this AM on the train...

This happened to me when I commuted to the City. I was on a packed subway and I felt someone clearly grab me down there. Problem was, it was SO smushed in the car that I couldn't tell who specifically did it, but I didn't stick around to do an investigation. Luckily the train was pulling into a stop and even though it was nowhere I needed to be, I ran off the train and waited for the next one. I never told anyone, I was so embarrassed. To this day (it happened 5 years ago) just thinking about it makes me physically ill. So sorry for her. Of course it's not her fault but I know she feels so violated!

Re: sensative topic - sister was groped this AM on the train...

This is unfortunately a common kind of assault. There is actually a name for it but I forgot what it's called.

A scream and a punch is in order. If the train is that packed, there are enough tough guys on there with mothers and sisters and wives and daughters who would definitely give this man a piece of their minds - or more.

Re: sensative topic - sister was groped this AM on the train...

Re: sensative topic - sister was groped this AM on the train...

Same story with me. I was on a crowded train and the guy in front of me was holding bis briefcase. The back of his hand was directly on my vagina. He started to rub. I turned around so he was now rubbing my azz.

The guy that was now in front of me was about 6'10". I looked up at him and told him I was about to assault the nimrod who was groping me and to please be my backup in case it got nasty. He agreed.

The back of my fist nailed him in the nose. He yelled in pain. Crouched down. The next stop was his..he got off. Bleeding.

I was a bit scared to do that but I had no choice.

I went home and took an hour long shower.

He was a clean cut guy commuting like the rest of us. Wouldn't have thought that type of guy would do that but you never know.

I hope your sister finds her voice and takes no crap.

Re: sensative topic - sister was groped this AM on the train...

This makes me so mad for her! What a disgusting piece of you-know-what!

She definately needs to learn to use her voice. Tell her if it ever happens again to yell loudly "Stop touching me!" (it's happened to me in the past when I went to school in the city and I threw in a few four letter words as well). And, if she's confortable enough, throw a punch or a hard elbow in there too.

On a side note though, good for her for thinking of going to the police when he followed her At least by doing that, she deterred him from following her all the way to school...or worse...doing something to her on the way there.