Sensitive topic...moms having #2 or more...

Do you feel like no one really cares about you having a baby this time around? There is no special celerbration for the baby, no extra fuss,etc. I started filling out this baby's baby book and I got to the shower area and I have nothing to put in it. I feel like the baby isn't going to feel as special.

Please don't quote as I may remove this later.

Re: Sensitive topic...moms having #2 or more...

This is what I felt in the beginning. I told my parents that we were trying and when I got pregnant, I told her and she wasn't as excited as I thought she'd be.

It wasn't until my blood test confirmed that I was pregnant that she started to come around.

There's nothing like the first one I guess.

Re: Sensitive topic...moms having #2 or more...

Since I'm almost 36w, I don't think anything is going to change. It's not as if I'm looking for presents, because that isn't it. I'm just sad that no one is really making the birth of this child special. I know it's a bit selfish but it still s@cks!

ETA: This isn't to say that anyone is obligated to make this birth special. I just know that if I was a different family member, things would have been different.

Message edited 3/16/2008 11:05:43 AM.

Re: Sensitive topic...moms having #2 or more...

You know I thought about that when I found out I was preggo with #2. I felt like no one would care as much. But everyone made just as big of a deal about that PG as they did my first. My family kind of thinks like "Every baby should be celebrated." So I got a shower for my 2nd, and will have one for this one as well.

Re: Sensitive topic...moms having #2 or more...

I did feel that way when PG with DS and now being PG with #3, I have been feeling that no one cares and no one wants to help.

No one has offered anything...even the simple task of being on the lookout for coupons for us. It makes me so upset and disappointed. The only time anything goes on is Christmas....and they get oodles of toys, etc.

All I want is time and an OFFER....the thought. That's what counts.

Re: Sensitive topic...moms having #2 or more...

the excitement is there but not as strong as for the first one

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Re: Sensitive topic...moms having #2 or more...

Posted by Stefanie

This is what I felt in the beginning. I told my parents that we were trying and when I got pregnant, I told her and she wasn't as excited as I thought she'd be.

It wasn't until my blood test confirmed that I was pregnant that she started to come around.

There's nothing like the first one I guess.

Re: Sensitive topic...moms having #2 or more...

I think the excitement will come once the baby is born. Its not the same as the first, but I guess I expected that.

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I felt the same way and I felt it more so after DD was born. Not that gifts matter but my aunt and uncle spent about $500 on gifts for DS and I didn't even get a call or a card for DD and same for my godmother. I was very disapointed. Again, not about the gift but that I didn't receive a phone call.
It definitly isn't the same the second time around.

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I have to say, that for me, getting p/g with #2 has not been easy. I have had four m/c's and DD#1 is 7 already. So I feel like the people around me have been pulling for me and my family for so long. My friends and family are very excited. And yes, there are not as many presents, but for me, I feel so blessed that everyone around me is so excited as am I. I feel like one of the luckiest people in the world right now. And I can not believe that DD#1 is going to have a sister

Re: Sensitive topic...moms having #2 or more...

I feel the same way. I even feel that a lot of the time, I am not as excited myself as I was the 1 st time around.

I created a book for Ava as soon as I found out I was pg. I got over 100 "parent-to-be" cards. I only got 4 this time. I am scared to put those in a book, and someday, have #2 see it and feel bad.

I am having a sprinkle. DD will be over 4 years old when new baby comes, so I do need some things, not much.

Re: Sensitive topic...moms having #2 or more...

first time mom here.... but I've SEEN the complacency in later births in my own family.

when my SIL said "I'm expecting #3" people literally rolled their eyes

in their next breath, they turned to us and said 'we really are looking forward to you having children' (This was months before we began TTC)

family and friends can sometimes be cruel without even realizing it. It totally was unfair to SIL and BIL, and downright mean.

(Grace is due in a couple weeks, by the way )

Re: Sensitive topic...moms having #2 or more...

I definitely feel like most don't care, I am hoping that will all change once he/she is here!

Re: Sensitive topic...moms having #2 or more...

Just curious - do you not have a shower for baby #2? I was at a shower today and was thinking -oooh - I wanna have one of these again!!!

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My friends and family are treating it the same. Maybe because this time it's a boy? I still forget I'm pregnant sometimes - so I don't treat it the same as my first either.

I hope people come around soon for you!

Re: Sensitive topic...moms having #2 or more...

Posted by lipglossjunky73

Just curious - do you not have a shower for baby #2? I was at a shower today and was thinking -oooh - I wanna have one of these again!!!

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I think our families are just as excited- but they were a little reserved at first- probably because of the shock- I got preggers 8 months after DS was born.

My mom is over the moon though about this new baby- because its a girl....

Re: Sensitive topic...moms having #2 or more...

I think everyone is just as excited about this baby as DD (esp. for my mom who really really wanted a grandson - she has all granddaughters.)

I'm a little sad I'm not having a shower, not for the gifts but for the excitement and "celebration" - but I totally understand that it's asking a lot of people esp since they will only be 18 months apart.

I will admit I haven't had as much time or energy to be as excited. DD is keeping me so busy that I barely have a chance to realize I'm pregnant. BUT I am excited!!!

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Re: Sensitive topic...moms having #2 or more...

With 2 kids are 6 1/2 years apart, so there was a lot of excitement leading up to his birth, but once he was born it wasnt as exciting. My 1st was the first grandchild on both sides, and i lived closer to my parents.
Everyone is busy with their own families, and i know they love him- so its ok with me that there isnt as much fuss the second time around,

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I agree. Definately not as exciting for everyone .

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The 1st time around my father couldn't have been more happy. This time when I told him the news he put his hands over his face and said "OH NO!"

Then he went upstairs for 30 mins to absorb the news and then came down to congratulate me.

Our 1st is 2 1/2 and he just can't handle her energy so the thought of another one was too much for him.

So sweet...right?