Share your best snarky comebacks for inappropriate questions/comments from ILs?

MIL and FIL already know, but we're telling the rest of DHs family this weekend.

I already know the comments/questions are coming because SIL was just pregnant 2 years ago..

Everything from "are you going to work?" to "you should stay home full-time" to "watch your salt intake! I wouldn't eat that!" to hundreds of "when I was pregnant...." stories.

Some are innocent and can be answered with a smile and head nod, but other VERY opinionated comments necessitate a snarky comeback. Other than "DH and I are still working things out" and "Haha now THAT'S a personal question".

Anyone have any quasi-innocent, yet snarky comments they enjoy using? Or do I need to suck it up for the next 6 months and take the abuse?

Re: Share your best snarky comebacks for inappropriate questions/comments from ILs?

my inlaws are so annoying w/ their comments. always bugging me about waht I'm eating. I don't really have any comebacks I just try to ignore and continue eating what Iwant.

Re: Share your best snarky comebacks for inappropriate questions/comments from ILs?

I would say-

If you would like to carry/raise/etc this baby for me, then that is fine- just let me know.

Until then, I have to do what's best for ME.

Re: Share your best snarky comebacks for inappropriate questions/comments from ILs?

MIL told me that I should put my pots and pans in the dishwasher. I told her I am 5 months preggo, am out of the house 12 hours a day bc I commute into Brooklyn, and already do enough around the house. She said, "But you are ruining your pots." I said, "You are welcome to drive up from NC to wash them every time I need them washed, otherwise I wll be putting them in the dishwasher. If you had taught your son that he needs to help out around the house, I wouldn't have to do it all on my own."

Ouch, right? Kinda felt bad after....but her comments about everything just don't stop!

Re: Share your best snarky comebacks for inappropriate questions/comments from ILs?

I usually say something along the lines of, "you've already raised your children, it's my turn now."

Re: Share your best snarky comebacks for inappropriate questions/comments from ILs?

Re: Share your best snarky comebacks for inappropriate questions/comments from ILs?

My MIL is the queen of rude and often hurtful comments.

Last time I talked to her she told me there is no need for me even to find out what we were having because it "has to be and will be a boy", and I said "When I find out what is is I won't or have to tell you what it is, so don't bother even asking".

Re: Share your best snarky comebacks for inappropriate questions/comments from ILs?