Similar to the Santa Thread..Singing Happy Bday

would you force DC to have happy birthday sung and blow out the candle if DC really didn't want it?

DS has said several times he does not want anyone singing happy birthday to him. Does not want this, doesn't want the candle (though he does want the cake). I told DH and said I think we should just skip it, and he said we can't, he has to have the experience, he (DH) wants the photo, etc.

Left me thinking who is this for really, him or you? I think we should skip it, but bring a candle in case he changes his mind at the last minute. He's turning 3 btw. DS does not like being the center of attention and is uncomfortable in groups as it is, which is why we are keeping his party small.

Thoughts?

Re: Similar to the Santa Thread..Singing Happy Bday

my 6 year old nephew cried at every birthday he had when we'd sing him happy birthday, until this past birthday.

it was heart wrenching. he seemed fine right before, then as soon as the attention was all at him, he'd cry hysterically. i think my brother may have thought he might "get over it" if we just sang and thought nothing of it, but he was wrong - every year. with the exception of this year. i think he finally knows how to handle the social aspect of it. before that, not so much.

it was awful to see him so hysterical. back then i thought he should be shown by example that singing Happy Birthday was not something to cry about. but now that i have a baby boy, if he reacted that way - we would come up with another way to celebrate- without the singing.

HTH

Re: Similar to the Santa Thread..Singing Happy Bday

no. I wouldn't.

it's for HIM.

maybe you could do something like write it out, so you've "sung" to him on paper....I would probably do something like that. so he knew in my head I was singing for him...from joy for his birth, while respecting his wishes.

Re: Similar to the Santa Thread..Singing Happy Bday

Id ask him 1 more time right before just incase his mind has changed...if not..Id skip it. Bring the candle like you said..just in case.

its for him. and if he doesnt want it and its going to make him unhappy..no point in it. jmo.

Re: Similar to the Santa Thread..Singing Happy Bday

Thanks for the replies! Yes, I think we'll skip it, unless he says he wants it before then. As some of you said, it's his birthday, and we'll get photos of the day anyway.

I mentioned this to his daycare teacher this morning (because we're bringing cupcakes), and she said it's very common at this age for kids to not want the song, candle, a birthday crown, etc. So they won't sing to him there either, unless he says he wants it.

As I said, he isn't comfortable being in the center of things, so it really doesn't surprise me that he doesn't want this. At most, maybe I'll try to do it at home that evening with just DH and me singing, he'd probably like that.