Single moms-As a friend

One of my very best friends lives across the country on the Pacific coast...she found out she was pregnant. She was torn because her boyfriend of a few years thought she would have an abortion, but she doesn't want to. I told her that whatever decision she made, I would totally support her 1000%. Well, now she's choosing to keep it. I know it's going to be tremendously hard for her, especially if she does this alone. Financial reasons alone are overwhelming to think about, but the fact that her family is back here is also hard. She isn't sure what she is going to do and she's scared of everything, but excited nonetheless...

Now, as a friend, can you suggest ways to support her all the way out here?

Money is going to be hard to give her. I'll be honest. I'd love to say "hey, here's some cash...here's your furniture, etc..." but I can't.

So what are other ways to support her aside from saying "Congratulations"?

Re: Single moms-As a friend

Get together with her mom & figure out how to throw her a shower (will help out financially).

Be her ear to listen to. Being pregnant can be extremely hard emotionally, physically - I can't imagine doing it alone.

Another suggestion - not sure how comfortable you are with sharing - but this website is a great resource. Introduce her to the Pregnancy board - or if you can find a board that specializes in single mothers that would help.

You're a great friend, she's a very lucky girl.

Re: Single moms-As a friend

Compile a list for her of resources in her area- esp single parenting websites, support groups,mommy and me ,etc

Send some useful mommy advice. Not the "Sleep when the baby sleeps" type stuff (b/c I found that impossible to do as there was so much that needed to be done, and I got aggrevated whenever someone told me to do this , like a half hour of sleep was going to magically make up for the other 59 hours I was missing !Can you tell I'm bitter ?) Maybe ask single mothers fo r their tips. I'm sure there a many books that can help her.

Re: Single moms-As a friend

I was a single mom for almost 9 years (i just got married in march) I was also 22, and my friends were still into the partying phase of life and questioned why I would want to keep the baby. Not helpful at all. My best advise to you is to just be there to listen! I was lucky and had support from my family and eventualy my friends financialy and mentaly... The financial aspect is tough.. but it is regardless with children. I didn't have insurance when i was pregnant and had to go through a "clinic" type thing through the hospital.. received amazing care no different from a private ob. after he was born I signed up for Child Health plus. Excellent. It was BC/BS and worth it. I also signed up for alot of mommy and me things.. amazing how many other single moms there are! Jsut be supportive.. I know these arnt great words of wisdom but good luck!