Re: Small Update - What goes through someone’s mind when a parent is diagnosed with cancer? (Long)

bumping for small update

ETA: We went to the 1st oncology apptmt yesterday. Really overwhelming for MIL and DH was clearly sad but stayed strong. Bone marrow biopsy for definitive diagnosis is today and she starts chemotherapy in a little less than 2 weeks. It was great advice to bring a notebook and write - i was able to do that for them and it helped bc it's amazing how difficult it is to keep track of everything and remember it later. I had a chance to privately talk to the oncologist as we walked away to make apptmts and i asked him about prognosis, not great overall but some people manage to beat the odds for longer period of time. He told me he talks more about that at the next apptmt. Will be going to that one too but I think that one will be more difficult. Thanks again everyone, I've already experienced a glimpse of how difficult this is on a family.

Re: Small Update - What goes through someone’s mind when a parent is diagnosed with cancer? (Long)

my father was diagnosed with the same cancer and it was really really difficult when i found out..he was hospitalized for almost 2 months then rehab (he ended up having emergency surgery) it will take time but u never fully recover..just be there for him when he needs to talk and give him space when he needs that as well... if u need to talk fm me

Re: Small Update - What goes through someone’s mind when a parent is diagnosed with cancer? (Long)

I just lost my Dad to bladder cancer right before Xmas. He had a backache in October and died 2 months later.

I am the only child (my brother died of Leukemia) when I was a child. My dad and I were very close and for me, the hardest part was when he was going through treatment and seeing him is SO MUCH pain.

He was always a rock, in total control, etc....It was so hard seeing him have no control over anything. We were so close and I think about him multiple times a day. There was a point where they said he would go to rehab (after radiation) and then have chemo. They gave us hope but the next week they told us he was going to a hospice.

The whole time I was just thinking about how I would go on without him? How would my mom go on? And I just felt lost...He did EVERYTHING and she doesn't know how to do anything.

He only lasted 6 days in the hospice and I was there when he passed away. I had been preparing myself for that day for 2 months and when it happened, it was a lot easier than I expected. I have no regrets about the time he was sick. I was there for him as much as I possibly could have been and I was able to tell him everything I wanted to.

I cried about it more before he died than after and now I just try to me a rock for my Mom. It sounds cold, but it is what it is. My Dad died and while it left huge holes in our hearts, life must go on. I know that my Dad would be horrified if that didn't happen and we stayed in a state of mourning.

My husband was a huge support for me as he also lost both of his parents so he knew what is was like. I would just recommend you be there for him and try to make things easier and don't push him to talk abut his feelings. If he wants to, he will.