So Devasted!!!!!

Hi ladies,
I lurk on this thread but have never really posted on it. I thought I should introduce myself.
Ladies I need some support.
I have been fat all my life. At one point I lost 117 pounds but slacked off and gained every pound and then some back. I knew I was huge, but I got the wii fit and the scale proved it. I was crying for hours. It said I was over 300 lbs. I am so devasted. It's my own fault. I cannot look at myself in the mirror with out crying. I won't have sex with the lights on and I won't take my shirt off either. I've lost my sex drive also. I break a sweat doing nothing. My back always hurts. Shopping is so depressing. I am so unhappy with myself. I go to the store and I feel like everyone is staring at me or making fun of me. DH says he loves me how I am, but I don't see how that is possible. I feel sooooo disgusting. I don't want to have a heart attack etc. My father had a stroke a few yrs ago. You would think that would be motivation enough. I want to loose weight but am so depressed at the same time. It's like I talk myself out of exercising. I don't know what I am asking you guys for, maybe some support. I don't know. Anyone want to be a diet buddy with me?

Message edited 10/12/2008 2:05:26 AM.

Re: So Devasted!!!!!

first,

you could do it!!!! its not easy. just take it one day at a time. start with eating smaller portions and salads. cut out regualr soda. since u said u got wii fit, do it for 30 min to start. dh loves u for u not how u look, since he loves u for u, he's a great person. FM me anytime

Re: So Devasted!!!!!

I can be your buddy I understand where you are coming from. I started my weight loss journey also over 325 pounds. Now I am down 65ish pounds in about 5 months.

My first suggestion is, don't exercise right now. Don't push yourself too hard too fast. If you try to make all of these radical changes, you're not going to be able to do it. Nothing against you, it's for everyone.

Change your eating first. By changing your eating only, you are making significant changes. Once you make your eating changes, you will lose weight, and it will make you feel better about yourself and you will also be more physically capable of exercising.

Right now you are just in a cycle; make just one change to break it. Changing your eating is easier at this point then going for a 30 minute aerobic workout. Once you lose 20-30 pounds, then start slow. Do it by parking the car farther away from the store - taking stairs instead of the escalator, etc. Your endurance will slowly build up, and it won't be so disheartening.

You can do it.

Re: So Devasted!!!!!

Hey! Don't be so down on yourself! It's so courageous of you to write that post and to face your own weakness. I will TOTALLY be your diet buddy too! I think we can all use some motivation and encouragement.

I just started the South Beach diet. I find it rather easy to follow and I'm not hungry all the time. To me, it's easier than weight watchers was. Maybe just check it out and implement some of the eating habits that are encouraged (i.e. lose the processed foods!).

Are you the same poster on LIW with the very adorable Shelby? Take her on a walk everyday, even if it's just around the block to start.

I agree with the PP about taking baby steps. Weight loss is definitely a journey. You didn't gain the weight overnight so it's certainly not going to come off that way either! However, I can help be a part of your team, count me in!

Re: So Devasted!!!!!

First of all, that post is a huge step in the right direction and YOU CAN DO THIS.

The first thing is to change your diet. The best thing for you will be a diet journal. Write down what you eat and how many calories you are taking in. Write down everything - even if it's a just a taste or a bite - every calorie counts.

Start excercising today! Go for a walk EVERYDAY. It's not that intense, and it honestly doesn't matter how long you go for right now, just that you are consistant. This will get you in the habit of exercising and you can build from there.

Feel free to FM me for any advice, I haven't been in the same situation myself, but have helped many people that have felt like you do.

Always remember that it won't be easy, but think of the end result - it IS worth it. Good luck and keep your head up lady, one step at a time.

Re: So Devasted!!!!!

First here are some .

I'm so admire your strength for being able to write something so personal and painful. We are here to help you. You can do this and you can and will be happy in your own skin again.

Try doing a bit of exercise everyday. Walking around the block a few times after dinner with your partner or a friend. Add more fruits and veggies to your diet and try to switch to whole grain pastas and breads. It will taste a bit funny at first but you will get used to the taste and even prefer it after while.

Re: So Devasted!!!!!

I know how you feel!!!!! When I went into Weight Watchers and got weighed all I did was cry!!!!!!!!

I agree with making changes to your diet first. Once you lose a few pouds doing that, then start the exercise. I agree that you don't want to overwhelm yourself.

Good luck!! Just making a post about means that you are serious because once you start telling people and putting it out there, it becomes real.

Re: So Devasted!!!!!

oh Christy Isnt this board great! i know how you feel matter a fact I still feel disgusted with myself too. but im motivated by the positive kind people I've surrounded myself with.

your hubby loves u so dont even pay attention to what looks u get at the store and what they say. Hold your head up high and be about your business :))

you can do this.

One thing I would say is DO start exercise in some form, go for long walks it does help. try weight watchers I found that easy with the point system. when u feel tempted, remember this board and where u wanna go.

more and have a wonderful day.

Re: So Devasted!!!!!

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

I know it's a 'cliché' of sorts, but it's so true. Just start. Make one little change.

So many people want a quick and easy fix, but it's about sticking with it long term.

Think of how fast a year goes, if you make one small change you could lose a pound a week and be down 50 pounds in a year, and that's by doing something SMALL.

I think too often people do these crash diets and try exercising crazy and then give up after like 2 months when they don't see a huge change because they feel they gave up so much and tried so hard.

It’s a lifetime commitment. I used to tell my clients (I was a trainer) think of the first time you tried a ‘diet’ it was probably years ago, if you had stuck to something simple then, think of how far you would have come by now.

Again, small steps and it takes time, but just start, and knowing you’ve started will make you feel better! Just take that first step, and don’t try to do it all at once, take baby steps, slow and steady, a lifetime commitment to living healthier.

Re: So Devasted!!!!!

been there, done that
been there, done that

i know how you feel.
as stated above, it starts with a single step.

start with what feels comfortable for you. most people say to start with the eating better... for me, that has never worked. when i start, i start with movement first. once i feel the slight burn of any kind of exercise, that makes me then feel like eating a little better.

ALL the people on this board are here to help you along.
maybe start a journal. it was suggested to me, here, and i'm loving it.

you'll do it! i know you will

Re: So Devasted!!!!!

You already took the first step by coming on here looking for support!
We are ALL here for you.
Please FM me anytime!
I've been posting on here since June.
This board has been amazing!
I agree with start out by watching your food intake first, then, slowly introduce exercise.
I will say though, if you start walking NOW it won't hurt.
Slowly introduce your body to walking, even if it means parking a little farther away in parking lots and walking into the store, or walking around the block.
Little by little, you'll become addicted. I promise.
Also, when you weigh in, make sure you ONLY do it once a week, and try to do it at the same time every week.

If you are a big soda drinker, slowly start replacing soda with water or seltzer. That in itself will help a lot.

Best of Luck!

You CAN do it!!!

Re: So Devasted!!!!!

I don't have much advice...but I can give you tons of encouragement!!


have you had a physical with blood work done. Diabetes can be a side effect of extra weight, but if you do test for diabetes, most insurance companies will pay for a nutritionist.

Re: So Devasted!!!!!

Christy first off

I have been where you are right now. At one time in my life I was 285 lbs (you can look at my weight loss album to see) and I am now for once in my life in control of my weight. I don't know how it happened but something finally clicked for me and the impossible finally has become within my reach.

I know how it feels to feel sluggish and tired for no reason at all. I know how it feels to go shopping month after month because my clothes have become too tight. I know how it feels to have lost weight and then gain all of it back and then some. I've been there and back but I am telling you with some time, patience and planning you can be successful

If you ever need anything feel free to FM me...this board is an invaluable source of support. We are all here for you!!!

Re: So Devasted!!!!!

I can be your diet buddy too.

I started my weight lost (this time) about Aug 2006 - I think) I was 263.8. Wow that was a kick in the behind. I havenow lost 69 lbs. it has been very slow because there were months I did nothing.

I too have been dealing with my weight since as long as I can remember. It's never an easy journey. But everyone on this board is wonderful. If you need support they are here, if you have questions they are here, and if you need a kick in the behind, trust me they are here

Please, FM me
Crystal

Re: So Devasted!!!!!

You've taken the first step by posting here. Use us for support. You can do it! All the ladies gave you great advice. I just want to add, that I hope you an appreciate yourself for who you are inside. You have to believe in yourself and know that you are worth it. You are! Just take small steps and it will get easier and easier.

Re: So Devasted!!!!!

I just wanted to thank you all for all the kind words. You ladies really are a big encouragement.
I talked to dh and he is fully supportive of whatever decision I make.
So I don't jump in too fast, right now we are just cutting down on portion size and I can work things in as I go.
We are also gonna talk our dog Shelby on a walk through our neighborhood tonight after dinner.I also started taking a good vitamin.
I got up and did my first official weigh in, which I will do once a week and I joined spark people, which so far seems amazing.
It's time to stop feeling sorry for myself and do something about it before it's too late.

Again Ladies words cannot begin to describe how thankful I am to you all.

Message edited 10/13/2008 5:05:51 PM.

Re: So Devasted!!!!!

Glad to hear it Christy! You'll do a great job!

Re: So Devasted!!!!!

Christy first let me start with You can do it!! Like OP'S said first start with cutting out sodas, Drink 'Lots' of water, Also cut out the white flour and replace it with whole Grain/Whole wheat...I myself started in the beginning of the year(march) and with the support of the lovely ladies of this board they've been such a 'Great' Support, You can Fm me to.. I have the wiifit myself i started with 30 minutes and worked up to an hour, Start with 25 to 30 minutes ...You'll be fine and welcome to the boards!!

Re: So Devasted!!!!!

Where do you live? I would love a walking buddy if you live near me. I live in Centereach.

Re: So Devasted!!!!!

Re: So Devasted!!!!!

Also, BTDT....we're all here for you. Last week I joined WW with a friend, the meetings are great and are helping me to be motivated, and I feel like I have to be more accountable to someone else when I get on the scale there instead of at home.

Just remember, you (and the rest of us!) didn't put it on overnight, it's going to take some time. Don't look at it all at once, I am taking 10 lbs at a time. Then I do something nice for myself, a manicure, a pedicure, something small, maybe somthing from Bath & Bodyworks...then at 50 lbs I'm going to get a full body massage as a present to myself.

After 2 weeks on WW I'm down 9 lbs. I'm on my way.

FM me if you need anything.

Re: So Devasted!!!!!

These ladies gave great advice.

I was at one time close to 200 lbs. Its amazing the funk that you can get in, and the cycle you get trapped in because you figure - what's the use?

I know for me, the following helped:

1. Cut out (or cut down) on sugar. The bad thing is your body is going to crave it like crack. I'm not kidding. Your head is going to pound, and you are going to feel even more sluggish for a few days. Its an awful feeling, but its your body detoxing. If you have to wean yourself bit by bit, do that, but as long as you are consuming sugar, you will not lose the weight. Healthy food will just not taste as good if you are used to consuming sugar.

2. You have to just get used to the fact that while you are losing weight, you are going to be hungry at some point. Its inevitable. However, once you befriend certain staples in your diet, that hunger will start to become less intense:

fruit - not too much - but a few pieces throughout the day as snack.

Bananas are sweet and heavy.

Apples have fiber.

Grapes are great snack fruit.

Wheat crackers with all natural peanut butter (no processed PB - full of the "bad" fat.) There are some studes that show that people who had a 1-2 tablespoons of PB a day reduced their overall daily fat intake. I used a measuring spoon to measure out how much a day to eat and put it in a container.

Baby carrots and celery

Hummos is a great thing for crackers and veggies!!!!

3. Portion control - go and buy a million teeny tupperwear containers, and fill each one with a healthy snack. Pretzels, grapes, carrots, etc. And keep them in your fridge. When you are hungry or want a snack, you don't want to jump into the fridge without snacks set to go. The worst time for a dieter are those hungry times and nothing is prepared to eat. Eating out of bags and containers will undo all your hard work!!! Even put doritoes in a tiny container for a once in a while treat. 10 won't undo you, but a whole bag will!!!!! STAY AWAY from diet food, low calorie food, fat-free, etc. It doesn't do anything to address portion control. Eat smaller portions of things you like!

4. Prepare your meals ahead of time - write out a menu. Go to the supermarket when you aren't hungry and buy ONLY what you need for those meals. Do not buy any snacks. If your DH misses his snacks, have him keep them in his car, and eat them when you are out of the house.

5. Exercise. the more varied and consistently done the better the results will be. Write out an exercise plan - and do a little everyday. Walk one day. Climb a few stars another. Do some marching in place another day. Jumping jacks another. Get a DVD. There are some fun dance ones.


Good luck! This is an excitng time in your journey! You will have your ups and downs, but think of all the healthy changes going on the inside. The outside will get there - but you want to be healthy to appreciate your body!!!!
The biggest thing you need is to break bad habits, and get out of the cycle. Replace one bad habit a week with a good habit.

Re: So Devasted!!!!!

AWW I know the feeling of wanting to give up, but then I make little bits of progress and get pumped to do more.

and then I come on here and get even more inspired by these AMAZING women

Feel free to FM me, I'd be happy to be your diet buddy. Im doing the WW core (whicha few girls on here are also doing). I live in suffolk.