so sad...can you help?

Well...my 11 week maternity leave is over - it went soo fast! Tomorow is my 1st day back. Im so sad. Im going to miss Aly soo much.

I have a couple of questions for the working moms -

1. would you mind sharing your AM routine with me? I feel like Ill never get out of the house on time! any helpful hints?

2. Also, do you feel that your DC knows that you are the mommy. My mother is going to be babysitting and Im so afraid that Aly wont know Im her mommy because she spends more time w/ Grandma.

wish me luck!

Message edited 8/28/2006 7:39:22 PM.

Re: so sad...can you help?

Good luck. I will be going through this in a few weeks. I'm sure Aly will know you are Mommy!

Re: so sad...can you help?

I know how difficult it is to go back to work...it WILL get easier as you establish a routine. I went back to work when DS was 3 months. He is 5 years old now. I have a nanny who comes to the house, so DH and I just make sure that we get up extra early, so that if he or his sister (18 months) wakes up, one of us will be able to tend to them.

My kids DEFINITELY know that I am their mommy!!!! My mom always worked, and when I had the same fear, she asked me how I feel about her. It so happens that my mom is also my best friend. My sister and I have ALWAYS been very close to her, and we NEVER thought our babysitter was our mom. Children know the difference. Why not put sleep with a blanket, then put it in her crib with her while you're gone, so she'll smell "you" in her crib.

Good luck!!!

Re: so sad...can you help?

Just wanted to send you hugs and let you know that what you are feeling is completely normal.
I went back to work last month and its been an adjustment but it does get better and better each day,

I was also worried about leaving the house on time - but to be completely honest with you its been working out okay.
DD sleeps through the night and wakes around 5:30 - 6:00 am. Me and Hubby wake up around 5:45 am quickly take turns showering and getting ready.
Julia tends to play in her crib for about 10-15 minutes before she starts wailing so that buys us some time. We take turns getting dressed and we change Julia's diaper, clothing and get her ready for grandma's. I pack her bottles, clothes the night before - so it saves us time. 6:30 am we are out of the house - when we get to grandma I give Julia her cereal and bottle and get to spend time with her till 7:30 am. At 7:30 am I leave her and walk to the express bus stop to go to the city.
This arrangment has been working well because me and my husband work together to make sure we are out of the house by 6:30 the latest.
Your daughter will know you are the mommy - don't worry. IN all honestly - she is still so young to even realize you have left and grandma will be spoiling her to pieces. Julia is often so busy playing - she doesn't even realize i've left for work and it helps to know that she is in good hands with her grandmother.
Just wanted to send you hugs and good luck tomorrow.

Re: so sad...can you help?

I have no advice Dawn because I am basically in the same situation I have to start work next week, and I am totally freaked about getting out of the house and getting into a routine. Thankfully, JT is on paternity leave the entire first month that I go back to school, so I am able to ease back into working.
I have the SAME fear that she will not know that I'm her mom

Re: so sad...can you help?

Posted by dawnygirl25

Well...my 11 week maternity leave is over - it went soo fast! Tomorow is my 1st day back. Im so sad. Im going to miss Aly soo much.

I have a couple of questions for the working moms -

1. would you mind sharing your AM routine with me? I feel like Ill never get out of the house on time! any helpful hints?

2. Also, do you feel that your DC knows that you are the mommy. My mother is going to be babysitting and Im so afraid that Aly wont know Im her mommy because she spends more time w/ Grandma.

wish me luck!

Re: so sad...can you help?

1. The morning routine is pretty easy for me, my DH helps out A LOT. I change my sons daiper and off to Daddy he goes for his bottle. When he is done he either plays with some toys or sits in his swing or on the couch! When I'm just about done (1/2 hour later) I'll change darling son into his day clothes and then DH drops him off at Day Care (bags packed the night before). When my mom watched him in the beginning (at our house), I would leave him in his pj's (diaper bag ready for her).

2. I started back to work after 3 months off, part time (3 days). My mom wacthed him and I was afraid of that at first too! But don't worry DC WILL know you are the mommy! I just put him into Day care this week, he will eventually be there full time. But there is nothing better at the end of your work day than seeing your child's face the moment they see you!

Re: so sad...can you help?

First of all,

I went back full time when my son was 13 weeks old. My mom and step mother watched him for 3 months and over the summer an in law watched him, so I was fortunate to have family with him. I understand your fears and know that it will never be "easy". I hear some of my preschool children ,whose parents come in for a party and have to go back to work, say things like "but Mommy I don't want to go to day care. Please stay mommy" and it rips my heart out. I also have felt first hand how it is for my son to be happy to see his babysitter- I become torn...I was glad he was happy to see her, but sad when he left my arms to see her by reaching out. I think its just natural to feel that way=jmo.
On a perfect morning Dh showers, I feed the baby while dh eats, I go in the shower while dh dresses ds, and I pack the car. If my dh has to leave earlier, my ds goes in the pack and play or exersaucer to watch sesame street or little einsteins while I get ready.
If you are bringing dd to your mom I would suggest preparing bottles/diaper bag the night before. Or at my mom's and dad's we had all of the essentials at each house (pnp, exersaucer, diapers, wipes, bottles, extra formula, desitin, tylenol, etc)
I also made an emergency contact list (my mom knows my number, but work and the doctor's office)
Sorry so long!

Re: so sad...can you help?

My DH actually gets her ready in the AM because I am out the door by 6:15. As far as his routine, he feeds her a bottle, then he lets her play in the living room and watch some sesame street while he gets himself ready (showers at night). Then he feeds her breakfast (solids) and brings her to the babysitters.

As far as her knowing her mommy, she was inside of you for over 9 months. It is your scent that she is naturally drawn to and will recognize above anyone elses. She'll definately know that you are her mommy, and g-ma is g-ma. However, I think it is a wonderful thing that she'll know her grandma well too!

Re: so sad...can you help?

My mom watched DD from 6 months on when I went back to work. She will definitely know you as mom and she will develop a special bond w/ your mom.

It will be hard at first but you will be relieved w/ the fact that you don't have to worry about who is watching your child.

Re: so sad...can you help?

's to you, I am in the same boat.

Re: so sad...can you help?

My mom watches my DD 2 days a week and I had the same fear. She def knows who her momma is On Fridays I need to be in work at 8am so I get up at 5:30 and get ready(while DD is still sleeping), get as much prepared the night before as you can. I brind her to moms in her pj'(about 6:50), change her, feed her and I'm on my way. On Tuesdays I have to be in by 11am, so it's no problem. I call my mom a million times a day and she's great about it. We are very blessed to be able to leave our DD's with someone who loves them, we trust and was a fabulous mom to us!! Not many people have that luxury....Good Luck!!

Re: so sad...can you help?

Awwww, you'll be ok! Just remember the first few days will be so exciting that you won't even feel all that terrible... it's about day 3 or 4 when it starts to kick in. The best thing to do is to arrange for DH to do the drop off and for you to do the pick up - the drop off is always the hardest and most gut wrenching, but I promise, within a few months, you'll get into a routine and it will start to get better

Our AM schedule goes like this - Alex usually wakes up between 5:30-6am (YAWN). I wake up with her, give her a bottle and then put her in her rocking chair in front of one of her favorite einstein videos. I shower and get ready for work, take her out and start giving her breakfast or play with her for about 20 minutes while DH showers. He comes out and takes over and I head to work. He takes her to daycare at around 7:3oam and I pick her up usually between 5 and 5:30pm.

Alex picked a favorite teacher - she'll cry if the teacher holds any other baby, and she has a very strong attachment to her. Despite all that, TRUST ME, she knows who her mommy is and will ALWAYS know. The second I walk in the door at daycare and say "hello", she whips her head around, gives me the biggest grin there ever was and starts screaming and clapping until I go over and pick her up, and then I get a nice big hug and kiss... they never forget who mommy is

Re: so sad...can you help?

My Dh takes Emma to daycare in the morning. She will either sleep untile he wakes her to get dressed, or she will play in her crib until he gets her.

I lay out her clothes the night before and make sure her bag is packed.

Emma knows who her mommy is - and I'm sure your DC does too.

Re: so sad...can you help?

Aly will def know her mommy

THinking of you today

Re: so sad...can you help?

Good Luck today.

Re: so sad...can you help?

She definitely knows that I am Mommy. It hurts some days when I come home and she still only wants my Mom and not me. But she is a Mommy's girl at heart She will know you are the Mommy. Don't worry.

Re: so sad...can you help?

Everything will be OK!! So many of us are in this situation. Don't worry.

I went back to work after 12 weeks. My mom watched DD for the first 2 weeks and now she is in daycare. I would love my mom to watch her full time but my mom has to go back to work too.

1. Morning routine. First off, I am always late to work- but this is what happened at first:
5:30-6:30: Wake up. Feed her. Play a little. 7:30 back to sleep- where I would pump, shower and get dressed. Then at 8:30 she would wake up and i would feed her again and then leave for work.

NOW, she is 18 weeks and she wakes up around 7:30-8. I pump, then feed her, then get dressed and go.

2. She definitely knows her mommy. I breast feed her, so that is definitely part of it. But she just knows me. I'm the one who was with her every day those first 12 weeks. I'm the one who wakes up with her every night. I'm her mom. She knows it.

Re: so sad...can you help?

I was so nervous about the same things. I went back to work at 12 weeks and it took about 2 weeks to get into a good morning routine. I honestly find that our mornings are much smoother on work days, then on days off/weekends. I would try to wake up before her and shower quickly (DH was still home at this time), and then watch sesame st or baby einstien while getting ready and playing. As for knowing you are the mommy, do not doubt it for 1 second, babies 100% know who their mom is! Good luck!

Re: so sad...can you help?

You probably need to give yourself a lot of time and practice your morning routine a few times before the actual day of going to work.

My daughter KNOWS I am her mommy and she is my baby. There is never a question about that. Not ever. You are the parent. Be confident in that!!!

Re: so sad...can you help?

I hope you had a good first day! It gets easier.

Re: so sad...can you help?

I sent you an email. You can do it!!!

Re: so sad...can you help?

Good luck...

I had the same thoughts you did but believe me the smile you will get when you get home is priceless and will take your breath away..
My morning routine stayed the same.. sometimes I showered the night before in case she didn't cooperate.. But before I left I did the feeding just to hang out with her..
Good Luck!! and bring lots of pictures..