So this is what Im thinking....

OK- after lots of drama at my baby shower Ive been thinking...

[Those of you may already know-but to refresh your memory...We found out this past Feb (after booking a wedding for 10/27/06) that we would be blessed with a baby.. We then decided to have a small JOP ceremony wedding this past July and continue with the BIG wedding next year...]

As the babys arrival comes closer and closer, Im starting to care less and less about this big wedding...

Its obvious that planning an event (esp. a wedding) can be VERY stressful (esp. when 3 different sets of people are paying for it) let alone planning a wedding with my MIL..

I was supposed to have ALL vendors booked before the babys arrival, therefore the only things left to do was really my dress and the girls dresses...and favors... WELL.... that didnt happen, I got so wrapped up in the move, my pregnancy and work...I didnt do a thing!

The baby is due in Oct., then the holidays come...so Im guessing if I continue my planning nothing willl start until January... This is when I go back to work...and school...

I just dont see myself having the strength to be a mom, work, go back to school, and plan a whole wedding in 10 months... I will have free time....but I dont think I will want to take any spare moment I have away from being with my baby...

Let alone deal with all the stress... there are issues with the people we have choosen to be in the wedding party... and as I said before... even if my parents and my inlaws were perfect...there is still the drama of who dosent like what dress...who wants to sit next to whom..and so forth...DO I REALLY WANNA DEAL WITH IT????

or do I... wanna take the cash..pay off credit card bills (making it so much easier for us while Im out on maternity) and put this large sum of money away in a savings account for a house???? (both families have offered to give us the $$$ they would be putting into the wedding)

Right now Im so in awe of the fact that Im gonna meet my baby soon..that nothing else matters to me... Being debt free..having $$$ put away towards a house..not being stressed about food and flowers and seating... and not dealing with everyone fighting just seems so worth it to me... I dont wanna spend the 1st year of my childs life..stressed out...preoccupied with a wedding...and fighting with our families...

I have to make a decision soon..because we wanna get our dep. back from east wind if we decide to cancel... I dont wanna have regrets... But I just have a feeling if I decide to go with the wedding everynight Ill come home crying and fighting and stressed saying to myself...why am I having this wedding...

or..

If I decide to cancel it I might be like: I wish I had my fairy tale wedding.....

If I decide to cancel... I do totally intend on going on a big huge vacation (honeymoon with DH) next year.. and I can always have a wedding renewal (if i do regret it) in years to come... 10 months of planning and stress...is it worth 5 hrs..???

Had I not have all these other things going on...I would say yes... but I just dont know if its worth it for me in my situation...

Please give me your thoughts... TIA I love you girls~

Re: So this is what Im thinking....

It's funny, because I'm going through the same predicament right now.
When we got married, we did it a city hall because we really couldn't afford it so we decided that we were going to renew our vows later on.
Well we planned for next year, we haven't booked anything but honestly I don't think that i care anymore. one part of me still wants to have the fairy tale wedding but the other part of me wants to save the money and do other things that we need more instead.
I still don't know what to do either

you have to go with your heart and do waht you feel it's going to be best for you.
Good luck.

Re: So this is what Im thinking....

Posted by Aliasmom

you have to go with your heart and do waht you feel it's going to be best for you.
Good luck.

Re: So this is what Im thinking....

It doesn't sound to me like you are up to the wedding right now... why don't you hold off on the wedding. In a few years if you are regretting not having your fairytale wedding, maybe do a 5 year vow renewal and have the big party then.

Re: So this is what Im thinking....

Re: So this is what Im thinking....

Re: So this is what Im thinking....

We also found out we were expecting and we pushed up our wedding date. We got married on July 2nd, and even though we had a ceremony in a church and a reception, it was small compaired to what we'd have done otherwise.

And even at that it was very stressful. Family members add to the stress, because even though it's YOUR wedding they want things THIER way.

In the end, I'm so glad we're married. I wanted to make sure we did it before the baby was born so that our child would have no question that my husband and I truely did love eachother and wanted that lifetime commitment to eacother. I'm glad it was a small wedding though, because unlike friends, we don't have wedding debt to pay off now, we managed to pay for it all upfront. But even with that being done, after it was all said and done, I wished that we'd have just run off to an all inclusive resort, gotten married there, just me and him, and had a longer honeymoon. That's what it boiled down to. We did a lot of things to please other people, but I wish we'd have just done something small for ourselves and enjoyed our moment more.

My story is just my story, but in my opinion, I'd just forego the big wedding for now. Enjoy your married life, your new wonderful family with your baby, and I'm sure the money will come in useful in some other way. That's just my $0.02.

-Melissa

Re: So this is what Im thinking....

I think you have already made up your mind....but you need someone to tell you that it's ok....so, I'm saying it....it's ok to not have the big wedding. You are very wise for understanding that having this money as a down payment on a home for your new family is much more important than a 5 hr. wedding. When/if you decide you regret your decision...you can have a big party...maybe a housewarming party! Anyway...all the planning and $$$$ that goes into a wedding is fun and all...but you can't live in it :) Good luck.

Re: So this is what Im thinking....

i know how you feel our wedding was planned for dec 10 and with a baby due in march we postponed it until next year, i have to say i felt like a huge weight was lifted off of me ...now i really dont think about the wedding that often anymore....just the baby. I think it is a wise decision to save for a house . good luck!

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Re: So this is what Im thinking....

I agree with Julz. Since you don't sound so into the planning, why put yourself through it. You are already married!! I would take the money and put it away for something like a house or getting out of debt.

Re: So this is what Im thinking....

go with your instincts this is a special time in your life and i dont think you'll want to be stressed to the max

Re: So this is what Im thinking....

I agree with everyone. If you still decide you feel like planning, there is always the baby's christening or 1st bday party!!

Re: So this is what Im thinking....

I think you should put the money towards your home and bills...hold off on the wedding. You could always do a destination wedding some day on an island and whoever wants to come can come. Then you won't have to worry about sitting people here or there.

Re: So this is what Im thinking....

i have two children and once your baby comes into the world a wedding is going to seem so little in comparison. your whole world is going to change. and you are going to be so worried, and over joyed with your new baby the last thing on your mind is going to be booking flowers and limos. i would definilty hold off. enjoy your baby and pregnancy and then if you still feel like you missed out on a wedding, you have your whole life to have the wedding you have dreamed off. good luck to you and congratulations!!

Re: So this is what Im thinking....

Thanks girls so much

my MIL just stresses me out to the max about everything....

I told her what we've been thinking of (considering her money was also being put into this) and she was fine...

But of course because she is a control FREAK shes called me 3 times today at work....trying to tell me what she thinks I should do about this and that...

I dont understand... Im dropping this so there'd be less planning and less involvement with her...so she could stop making me feel like jumping off a cliff!!!!!! and yet somehow she just dosent stop...

I see canceling this wedding to be the best thing in so many aspects...but I think what would make things so much better would be just to get away from her!