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Ali1
Mommy
Member since 8/05 3116 total posts
Name:
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Spinoff - Returning Wedding Money
A woman at work and i were talking last week and I thought i would pose this here. She went to a wedding of a good friend in the beginning of 2005. This couples's marriage fell apart 2 months later and they are now divorced. She said that the couple had a huge wedding with 300 plus people and probably got large $$$$ gifts. However, as far as this woman knows none of it was returned.
This woman at work said that she heard gifts should be returned if the marriage does not last very long.....I didn't agree saying you are giving a gift and going to a party....
Is there etiquette on this?? What are your opinions??
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Posted 1/15/06 3:59 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
nancygrace
I'm 2!
Member since 9/05 6616 total posts
Name:
Live*Love*Laugh
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Re: Spinoff - Returning Wedding Money
wow thats messed up. im not sure what the proper thing to do is but i would expect the money to be returned
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| Posted 1/15/06 4:00 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Spinoff - Returning Wedding Money
I do not think that gifts should be returned. I think that is kind of selfish to say "sorry your marriage fell apart, can I have my punch bowl back?" but that obviously is JMO
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| Posted 1/15/06 4:33 PM |
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suvenR
designer mutt
Member since 5/05 4239 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff - Returning Wedding Money
etiquette says that if the marriage ends within the first 12 months, all gifts are supposed to be returned.
We've had this happen and no one ever offered to return our gifts. I wouldn't have accepted, even if they did. But, that's part of what inspired my other post- this person is now having e-party, shower, and wedding #2
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| Posted 1/15/06 4:44 PM |
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VirginiaDeb
Don't eat me, hippo!
Member since 5/05 9252 total posts
Name:
Deb
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Re: Spinoff - Returning Wedding Money
My friend got a lot of things for her e-party, and then her and her fh moved in together, so they used a lot of it... before she found out he was cheating on her 5 months before the wedding. She returned everything that had not been used.
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| Posted 1/15/06 5:00 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff - Returning Wedding Money
If my friend's marriage fell apart, the last thing I'd be looking for was money back - regardless of the duration.
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| Posted 1/15/06 5:07 PM |
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karacg
Babygirl is 4!
Member since 5/05 17076 total posts
Name:
Kara®
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Re: Spinoff - Returning Wedding Money
Etiquette -- return all of the unused gifts.
Personally if I were the bride I would try to return the $$ too.
But if I were the giver, I wouldn't look to get anything back.
Message edited 1/15/2006 5:25:47 PM.
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| Posted 1/15/06 5:10 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Spinoff - Returning Wedding Money
Posted by nrthshgrl
If my friend's marriage fell apart, the last thing I'd be looking for was money back - regardless of the duration.
amen, I think people need to prioritize..... 
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| Posted 1/15/06 5:22 PM |
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Salason
♥
Member since 6/05 9878 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff - Returning Wedding Money
Posted by stephanief
Posted by nrthshgrl
If my friend's marriage fell apart, the last thing I'd be looking for was money back - regardless of the duration.
amen, I think people need to prioritize.....
i agree!
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| Posted 1/15/06 5:23 PM |
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05mommy09
Family of 5!
Member since 5/05 15364 total posts
Name:
<3 Mommy <3
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Re: Spinoff - Returning Wedding Money
Posted by nrthshgrl
If my friend's marriage fell apart, the last thing I'd be looking for was money back - regardless of the duration.
well said...
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| Posted 1/15/06 5:31 PM |
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ggt08
;)
Member since 5/05 5208 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff - Returning Wedding Money
my marriage ended after 7 months and I did not return any gifts. Sorry if I broke any etiquette..
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| Posted 1/15/06 6:14 PM |
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MrsJ
I love my Katie Bug
Member since 5/05 11357 total posts
Name:
Kathy
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Re: Spinoff - Returning Wedding Money
As far as I know if the marriage ends within a year from the wedding, all gifts should be give back. Thats what Ive heard, I never had to deal with it though.
Message edited 1/15/2006 6:31:53 PM.
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| Posted 1/15/06 6:31 PM |
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Pumpkin
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3353 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff - Returning Wedding Money
I think the last thing that a couple who hopes and dreams are shattered wants to do is give gifts back. I think that I would be embarressed to do that. I mean my life is falling apart and now i have to go through all over again.
I will share this with you, it took me a while to change my name at work, anyway I work for a real jackass and he entered my name wrong one day and comes running it it was about 2 months after, and goes not to be nosey but did you change your name back? I was like what?? he was like oh do we get our gift back?Thank god this was not true but you could you imagine? nice jackass!! but anyway some people will look for it back and if that is what a person only thinks about then I would have no problem giving it back to them but i think that would the last thing on my mind.
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| Posted 1/15/06 6:33 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Spinoff - Returning Wedding Money
IMO....i don't think they should have to return the money...
wedding gifts aren't conditional to marriage working out.
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| Posted 1/15/06 6:43 PM |
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Re: Spinoff - Returning Wedding Money
My roommate from college was married two months when it ended.
I would NEVER have asked or expected her to return anything. I knew she was so upset and embarrassed about the whole thing and wanted to put it behind her.
I would have felt like a moron, taking the gift back.
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| Posted 1/15/06 6:53 PM |
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Tany
Becoming a different woman
Member since 5/05 24460 total posts
Name:
Tania
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Re: Spinoff - Returning Wedding Money
honestly, if it was a gift, why would you have to return them?
it's just like any other gift imo.
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| Posted 1/15/06 6:54 PM |
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DjPiLL
Member since 5/05 3664 total posts
Name:
Richard
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Re: Spinoff - Returning Wedding Money
I dont think the gifts should be returned.
I also wouldn't expect someone to return a gift I gave them. Hell... if I went to a wedding and their marriage fell apart two months after... I would realized how f'ed they are with a divorce now and the last thing they should have to worry about is returning a gift.
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| Posted 1/15/06 6:57 PM |
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Corinne
My munchkins
Member since 5/05 5010 total posts
Name:
corinne
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Re: Spinoff - Returning Wedding Money
i wouldnt wait around for the money. If you give money for an engagement party and they dont get married then they are expected to give back.
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| Posted 1/15/06 6:59 PM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff - Returning Wedding Money
Posted by MrsProfessor
My roommate from college was married two months when it ended.
I would NEVER have asked or expected her to return anything. I knew she was so upset and embarrassed about the whole thing and wanted to put it behind her.
I would have felt like a moron, taking the gift back.
I agree. The same for an engagement gift. I had a friend whose engagement was called off three days before the wedding, and about 4 months after the engagement party. I certainly didn't expect my engagement gift back.
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| Posted 1/15/06 6:59 PM |
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LAMGAJ28
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Member since 10/05 6039 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff - Returning Wedding Money
Posted by nrthshgrl
If my friend's marriage fell apart, the last thing I'd be looking for was money back - regardless of the duration.
Couldn't agree more...
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| Posted 1/15/06 10:38 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Spinoff - Returning Wedding Money
I wouldnt want my Money back. I would think of the heartbreak they were feelingm and the money WOUDL never enter my mind. i have had two friends not make it to one year and I never even thought about the money until this thread.
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| Posted 1/15/06 11:09 PM |
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