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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Spinoff from NFR: Compare your child to your pet
I know this sounds like stupid questions but I'm trying to figure out if it's my shallow view of pet ownership or do I have it right.
I remember a guy on the train telling me how his dog was his child. When his wife was pregnant, I told him I thought his feelings were going to change. Then he jokingly said if his child was born with a severe allergy, he'd have to go live somewhere else & he'd keep the dog.
I've heard this many times people say how their pets are the children. I've had many pets in my lifetime - ones I adored. However not one of them compared to my children - I mean not even in the slightest.
I get when someone doesn't have children & they think it's the same thing - because well, they don't have children & really can't compare to something they don't have.
Realizing that people have different feelings & varied relationships with their pets & children, if you are/were one of those people who felt your pets were your "babies", now that you have children, do you feel the same way? Do you feel you now have 2 children, loved equally?
Compare & contrast.
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Posted 3/9/09 2:16 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
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Re: Spinoff from NFR: Compare your child to your pet
I ALWAYS considered my little Sophie (cocker spaniel) to be my baby. We treated her like a little baby, adored her.......she was our little peanut and got 100% of our attention.
I could not fathom ever changing my feelings or loving her any differently BUT then along came Emerson and OH MY GOSH!!!!.............NOTHING compares to the love you have for a child. This little beautiful person that you grew inside of you, it's an incredible feeling. Way more feeling is involved than anything I've ever felt for my dog.
I still LOVE Sophie and she's a sweet adorable dog but truthfully, she pales in comparison to Emerson who is the true light of my life. As wonderful of a pet that Sophie is, she's just a pet. Emerson is my baby and she will always comes first!! 
Message edited 3/9/2009 2:22:23 PM.
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| Posted 3/9/09 2:22 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Spinoff from NFR: Compare your child to your pet
Nope. My dog was my baby, now she's a total second rate citizen in our house.  Don't get me wrong, she still gets a lot of love and taken for walks, but she is at the bottom of the totum pole. She wants a walk the second my feet hit the floor, but she knows she has to wait until DS gets his breakfast.
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| Posted 3/9/09 2:23 PM |
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stickydust
Now a mommy of 2!!!
Member since 4/06 3164 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff from NFR: Compare your child to your pet
I have 2 dogs (although one is my "step" dog). I have had my pug since law school and he always used to even sleep in the bed with me. When I worked in the city I used to send him to this posh doggie day care. I love my dog and will be sad when he is gone but I will get over it.
I could not even begin to compare and contrast that with the love for my DD because there is no comparison that exists. You can love you pet and your pet can be a part of your family but your child is just something else entirely...
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| Posted 3/9/09 2:25 PM |
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NinaLemon
It's a boy!!!
Member since 10/07 6453 total posts
Name:
Jeannine
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Re: Spinoff from NFR: Compare your child to your pet
I never really considered my pets my babies, they were always my pets. However, my brother and SIL considered their dog to be their baby. They never planned to have children, so the dog really was their child, they had birthday parites for her and everything! After about 10 years they decided that they wanted to have a child. The dog no longer gets birthday parties and although they still love her, she is now a pet, not a child.
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| Posted 3/9/09 2:33 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
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Marisa
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Re: Spinoff from NFR: Compare your child to your pet
I love my dog and she is a spoiled beast -
But when push comes to shove, the dog is an animal (no matter how much I love her and she is part of my 'family') - She can not be compared to a child - IMO.
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| Posted 3/9/09 2:35 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Spinoff from NFR: Compare your child to your pet
When people say this to me (and a woman at the gym recently did - saying that her friends who have kids have told her that her love for her dog is the equivalent of their love for a child), I keep my mouth shut, because I don't ever want to devalue what kind of bond a person feels for their pet.
I can say for myself, and for the friends I know who have had pets and then children, it just wasn't the same. I will always adore my pets, but my child grew inside my belly - I felt her kick, move and stretch. When she came out, I fed her with my own body, as I looked down into my very own eyes. And as she grows up, and develops this incredible, awe-inspiring personality that is part hers entirely, and part DH and I, I just cannot fathom feeling the same way about a pet as I feel about her.
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| Posted 3/9/09 2:36 PM |
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SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!
Member since 12/05 20105 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Spinoff from NFR: Compare your child to your pet
my feelings totally changed after having the babies. I still love my kitties but the love I have for my children is indescribable. There is no comparison.
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| Posted 3/9/09 2:51 PM |
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mtnmama
Member since 5/06 4794 total posts
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Re: Spinoff from NFR: Compare your child to your pet
My dog has always been my baby and I love him dearly. But even before I had my DD I was never one to say-he is like my child. A pet is an animal. I am sorry but IMO there is no comparison. One is an animal, one is a human. Humans will always be more important in my book.
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| Posted 3/9/09 2:51 PM |
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MST9106
My life:)
Member since 6/06 9589 total posts
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Re: Spinoff from NFR: Compare your child to your pet
Before my son was born, Max (my Boxer) was totally my baby. He slept with us, got special treatment, all the attention, went everywhere with us...until DS was born. Then, to be perfectly honest, he had to grow up and become a big brother and just a dog that we love...
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| Posted 3/9/09 2:52 PM |
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chikita315
Love
Member since 8/06 7945 total posts
Name:
M-lo
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Re: Spinoff from NFR: Compare your child to your pet
I adore my Dottie and she's defnitely part of the family. I'll be honest and say I couldn't imagine loving something more than I loved her (besides DH of course), until I had a baby.
You're absolutely right when you say, you don't know, until you have something to compare it to.
Message edited 3/9/2009 2:56:40 PM.
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| Posted 3/9/09 2:55 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff from NFR: Compare your child to your pet
Posted by Bxgell2
When people say this to me (and a woman at the gym recently did - saying that her friends who have kids have told her that her love for her dog is the equivalent of their love for a child), I keep my mouth shut, because I don't ever want to devalue what kind of bond a person feels for their pet.
That's kind of how I feel...I don't want to devalue anyone's feelings for their pets but for me, I just can't see the comparison.
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| Posted 3/9/09 2:56 PM |
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lovemy2boys
LIF Adult
Member since 10/07 3915 total posts
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Re: Spinoff from NFR: Compare your child to your pet
my cat was our baby for a long time. I spoiled her rotten and gave her all my attention. I couldn't understand when people say their feelings changed. Now she is pretty much just a cat. I feel guilty
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| Posted 3/9/09 2:59 PM |
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Re: Spinoff from NFR: Compare your child to your pet
The feelings I have for my dog and the feelings I have for my baby are not the same but I can't say that my feelings for my dog have decreased at all. My heart just got bigger!
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| Posted 3/9/09 3:19 PM |
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casey31
Mommy of 3!
Member since 5/05 2967 total posts
Name:
Mommy to two boys and a girl
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Re: Spinoff from NFR: Compare your child to your pet
My dogs were my babies- now, they are just dogs! they are loved and cared for and are part of our family but they are now "the dogs"! 
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| Posted 3/9/09 4:09 PM |
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rojerono
Happiest.
Member since 8/06 13803 total posts
Name:
Jeannie
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Re: Spinoff from NFR: Compare your child to your pet
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by Bxgell2
When people say this to me (and a woman at the gym recently did - saying that her friends who have kids have told her that her love for her dog is the equivalent of their love for a child), I keep my mouth shut, because I don't ever want to devalue what kind of bond a person feels for their pet.
That's kind of how I feel...I don't want to devalue anyone's feelings for their pets but for me, I just can't see the comparison.
I think you can't see the comparison because you have children.
People always tell the childless folks "You don't understand because you don't have kids.." and it's true. It is IMPOSSIBLE to truly understand the emotion and the feelings that go with being a parent until you are a parent.
But.. on the same token.. it is impossible for me to truly understand the depth and breadth of love a person can have for their pet when they have chosen to remain childless and instead invest the entirety of their heart and soul into the care and love for their pet.
My aunt had no kids - but did have 2 dogs. She treated them like children and called them her babies. She knew they were animals - and if forced to choose between the life of a human family member or that of her dog I am certain she would have chosen her family.. but at great cost to her own heart. She didn't value her animals over human life.. but she loved them more than anything else. Does that make sense?
I don't think any of us want to denigrate someone elses choices or feelings about their animals.. but I think it's just not feasible for anyone with children to really 'get' how or why an animal can be like a child to someone.
ETA: To answer the question.. I had dogs growing up and I was an AMAZING pet owner. My pet caring abilities were horrible after I gave birth. I loved our dog.. but time and attention were in short supply after the kids and the husband and the house.
Message edited 3/9/2009 4:33:59 PM.
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| Posted 3/9/09 4:30 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff from NFR: Compare your child to your pet
Posted by rojerono
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by Bxgell2
When people say this to me (and a woman at the gym recently did - saying that her friends who have kids have told her that her love for her dog is the equivalent of their love for a child), I keep my mouth shut, because I don't ever want to devalue what kind of bond a person feels for their pet.
That's kind of how I feel...I don't want to devalue anyone's feelings for their pets but for me, I just can't see the comparison.
I think you can't see the comparison because you have children.
People always tell the childless folks "You don't understand because you don't have kids.." and it's true. It is IMPOSSIBLE to truly understand the emotion and the feelings that go with being a parent until you are a parent.
But.. on the same token.. it is impossible for me to truly understand the depth and breadth of love a person can have for their pet when they have chosen to remain childless and instead invest the entirety of their heart and soul into the care and love for their pet.
My aunt had no kids - but did have 2 dogs. She treated them like children and called them her babies. She knew they were animals - and if forced to choose between the life of a human family member or that of her dog I am certain she would have chosen her family.. but at great cost to her own heart. She didn't value her animals over human life.. but she loved them more than anything else. Does that make sense?
I don't think any of us want to denigrate someone elses choices or feelings about their animals.. but I think it's just not feasible for anyone with children to really 'get' how or why an animal can be like a child to someone.
I have had pets that were my babies but they are long since gone BEFORE we had kids.
I don't doubt that their pets aren't their "babies" when they don't have a child. That's why I asked those who felt that way once & have both now. I wanted to see the comparison from their perspective.
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| Posted 3/9/09 4:36 PM |
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rojerono
Happiest.
Member since 8/06 13803 total posts
Name:
Jeannie
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Re: Spinoff from NFR: Compare your child to your pet
Posted by nrthshgrl
I don't doubt that their pets aren't their "babies" when they don't have a child. That's why I asked those who felt that way once & have both now. I wanted to see the comparison from their perspective.
Gotcha.
Like I said.. I can't have pets. I'm nowhere NEAR as good a pet owner now as I was when I was single and unfettered. I used to spend money and time and energy on making sure my dogs had the best of everything... but now all of that money, time and energy goes to my kids.
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| Posted 3/9/09 4:47 PM |
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Bops
My 3 wishes
Member since 12/07 13625 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff from NFR: Compare your child to your pet
I have to say that my poor dog doesnt get nearly as much attention now that we have DC's, theres just not enough time in the day it seems ....But he does get lovin' from my DS and they are very much alike....
My pup is a shih-tzu and not your typical one....He's over-sized and rambunctious as can be .....Both he and my DS are wild, crazy and off the wall-
Message edited 3/9/2009 5:46:41 PM.
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| Posted 3/9/09 5:44 PM |
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pickles16
Real Estate Professional
Member since 11/07 17227 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Spinoff from NFR: Compare your child to your pet
Posted by MST9106
Before my son was born, Max (my Boxer) was totally my baby. He slept with us, got special treatment, all the attention, went everywhere with us...until DS was born. Then, to be perfectly honest, he had to grow up and become a big brother and just a dog that we love...
ditto, same thing with our dog....
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| Posted 3/9/09 6:37 PM |
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nicrae
He's here!
Member since 12/06 9289 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Spinoff from NFR: Compare your child to your pet
My dogs were my babies and though I still love them to death, what I feel for my daughter can't even be compared.
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| Posted 3/9/09 6:41 PM |
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