Spinoff Re: LeAnn Rimes, Brad Pitt, Tom Brady, etc. WWYD

Let's say you are married.

Let's say you are even happily married.

But you meet someone through chance - you weren't looking, you were put together with this person for some reason.

And you feel a connection to this person like you've never felt - not even with your spouse.

And after spending time with this person in a NON-romantic way, you realize that you have true, deep, real feelings for them and these feelings trump those you feel for your spouse.

You are SURE that you feel more for this person. This is not lust or curiousity. You have carefully thought it out and you feel it is real.


What do you do?

Re: Spinoff Re: LeAnn Rimes, Brad Pitt, Tom Brady, etc. WWYD

I surely don't cheat. If I met my soul met after I was married,I would end my marriage first.

Re: Spinoff Re: LeAnn Rimes, Brad Pitt, Tom Brady, etc. WWYD

I would end my marriage too.

Tom Brady cheated???

Re: Spinoff Re: LeAnn Rimes, Brad Pitt, Tom Brady, etc. WWYD

Honestly, I don't know.

I think it's easy to say "i would just end my marriage first and then be with that person" but you just never know.

That's the noble thing to do, but attractions & strong connections are some things that are not rational.

I guess I would really have to say if I can let go of my marriage for this person, but it's hard to make that decision without experiencing this new person in a romantic way. It's like you're stuck in a Catch 22.

So I'd hope I wouldn't cheat, but I know to never say never, when affairs of the heart are concerned.

Re: Spinoff Re: LeAnn Rimes, Brad Pitt, Tom Brady, etc. WWYD

Re: Spinoff Re: LeAnn Rimes, Brad Pitt, Tom Brady, etc. WWYD

Re: Spinoff Re: LeAnn Rimes, Brad Pitt, Tom Brady, etc. WWYD

Message edited 9/17/2013 2:16:59 PM.

Re: Spinoff Re: LeAnn Rimes, Brad Pitt, Tom Brady, etc. WWYD

I don't know what I'd do.

One thing is for sure that I wouldn't make a move until I figured out why I don't have that connection with DH.
I think there is a mutual responsibility for a "connection" & I'd need to see what part I'm playing and what part my SO is playing in the lack of connection - otherwise I'm bound to repeat history with the new person.

Happiness and connections ebbs & flows in every relationship. However, I couldn't stay with someone if I was truly unhappy all of the time.

Re: Spinoff Re: LeAnn Rimes, Brad Pitt, Tom Brady, etc. WWYD

I don't think I could do it...especially with a family. I think when people put their focus elsewhere it's their children who suffer. Sure for those of us with children, we are more than just parents, we have a right to be people but I cannot imagine being Eddie Cibrian's kids who have to all of a sudden see that Daddy is gone and is now preoccupied with someone who is not Mommy. It's a bit less complicated for Leanne Rimes. Maybe still complicated but less so. I guess that is bound to happen with a non-custodial parent in any divorce, cheating or not, they see the kids every other weekend and such but to knowingly put the kids in that position by "following one's heart" is very self-centered. However, before I come off as judgemental, I will add that even given that reply, I still don't know what I would do. It's just too hard to say what you'd do when you're not in that situation vs. what you'd really if it was a real situation. Never say never applies to so many things in life, doesn't it?

Re: Tom Brady. It was my understanding from what we know as "the public" that TB & BM broke up and then she found out she was pregnant. I don't think his relationship with GB was the factor in their break up. Of course who knows but that was what I understood as a follower of celebs.

Re: Spinoff Re: LeAnn Rimes, Brad Pitt, Tom Brady, etc. WWYD

After going through my parents divorce where my dad cheated on my mom and remarried before the ink was dry on the divorce decree, I can guarantee you I'd end my marriage before I did that to DH. If I no longer felt I wanted to be married I'd still have enough respect for the man I had two children with to not cheat on him.

Re: Spinoff Re: LeAnn Rimes, Brad Pitt, Tom Brady, etc. WWYD

Well I don't know how "you know" for sure without being romantic with someone - and I don't mean sex but without ANY physical contact at all, I just don't know how you could know for sure....

For example, there is someone in my past that I loved - made me laugh, always had an amazing time together, it really felt like we were soulmates, had attraction to eachother, but in the bedroom things were just not there - everything else was pefect but the actual physical part of the relationship was just lacking something, I'm not sure what it was - and on and off for years things happened between us but it still was never there for me - and not just sex but everything "sexual" was never right...so even though everything else seemed like fate we just didn't connect on that level...if it did, I'd probably be married to that guy

So for me, there has to be the whole package, and part of that package is physical chemistry, kisses, touch, sex, all of that...so I don't think I could have those feelings about someone else unless I already cheated - kwim?

And I wouldn't cheat...so I don't think I'd ever be in that situation...does that make sense?

Message edited 6/4/2010 12:52:54 PM.

Re: Spinoff Re: LeAnn Rimes, Brad Pitt, Tom Brady, etc. WWYD

I do know what I'd do. I'd try to work it out with my SO - and if I couldn't or if I just felt absolutely compelled to be with or try to be with another man - I'd let the my husband know that I was having feelings for someone else. I'd tell them it wasn't romantic YET - but that I want to see where it will go.

A significant other is someone you LOVE - or loved enough to get into a relationship with at some point. It's someone you made a commitment to. And it might be friggin' the HARDEST THING in the world to own up and say "I am not sure I feel for you how I should feel.. because I have met someone else.." but I passionately believe that I would owe my husband at LEAST that much before moving on to explore my options elsewhere.

I know that *I* wouldn't want to be left dangling like a clueless piece of meat while my SO is off trying to figure out what he feels for someone else.. so I couldn't do that to him.

When Rob and I started having 'feelings' for each other, we were dating other people. Mine was not a terribly serious relationship - but his was. I told my boyfriend that I was developing feelings for someone else and I told Rob that he had a choice to let his girlfriend know that he was no longer invested in their relationship the way he should be - or to stay with her and put whatever feelings he had for me on a shelf somewhere because there was not going to be any 'discovery' while either of us was tied to another.

Message edited 6/4/2010 1:47:44 PM.

Re: Spinoff Re: LeAnn Rimes, Brad Pitt, Tom Brady, etc. WWYD

I would hope that my love and respect for my husband would override doing something like that.

I dont know even when I was dating people I never cheated. Not that I was not tempted but it just was not me.

Now married to my husband, the love I have for him I do not think I could or ever would betray him like that.

Re: Spinoff Re: LeAnn Rimes, Brad Pitt, Tom Brady, etc. WWYD

Re: Spinoff Re: LeAnn Rimes, Brad Pitt, Tom Brady, etc. WWYD