Spinoff to 5ofclubs PG again post...

Ive been meaning to post this for awhile... but always fear it may come across wrong, and with a little TMI... (Im gonna spill my heart out here- so I dont know where it will go- apologies in advance )

OK-

So since having Ry boy, DH and I sex life has vanished and not for any other reason- than fear of pregnancy....

Im on the pill- take it regularly, but its just not enough for me...NOTHING IS....

At first- it was just because I had such a new new little baby... but now- with him turning one- its for no other reason than I just simply dont want one!!!!!

Just the thought of being away from him- to actually give birth- saddens me to death.... I dont wanna share my time with him with anyone else...

Which then makes me wonder- how I would even be able to share my love with another baby (I know Im talking crazy here- and it all just works out.)

Im still very attached (more than Ry boy ) and hate to be away from him....

I do want more children- I was planning on having 3 or 4 (god and $$$ willing) but these thoughts have me thinking... I cant!


I truely dont know how I would react to another pregnancy right now... and I feel guilty for even feeling this way!!!!!!!

I have compltly shut DH out in this dept. because I just dont wanna take any risks.... Of course he's not happy about this... and its prob one of the reasons we've had some obstacles this past year.....

I know I need to get over this- but how?????


I cant even put into words my fear....I dont wanna share my Ry boy with anyone....and Im starting to think Im nutso

I had a friend go through this with her 2nd- and the Dr considered it PPD- and she was put on meds...

I dont think mine has come to that- but God knows what would happen or will happen when I have a 2nd...

SOmeone please save me from my craziness!

Re: Spinoff to 5ofclubs PG again post...

I held off having another baby because I was just enjoying Patrick. But, I didn't hold off sex. If you are really nervous about it make him wear a condom as well. I'm sure your husband wouldn't mind if he knew you would be more willing!

Re: Spinoff to 5ofclubs PG again post...

When I got pregnant with Jeremy Emma was 23 months old. I was so sad and scared that all the time I had with her was gone. I was sad that I had to be away from her in the hospital. I was nervous that she would hate me because I was bringing another baby into her world. But it turns out she was pamered to death during my time in the hospital. Yes, she had some adjusting to deal with but when I got home she was still my little girl and she loved her baby brother more than anything in the world. Now having 2 of them watching them interact took away any sadness and fear that I had while I was pregnant with Jeremy. We are just a bigger family who loves each other.

Re: Spinoff to 5ofclubs PG again post...

Re: Spinoff to 5ofclubs PG again post...

Re: Spinoff to 5ofclubs PG again post...

Re: Spinoff to 5ofclubs PG again post...

I don't think I can really given any advice here since my DD is only 3 weeks old, but I just wanted to give you some !

Re: Spinoff to 5ofclubs PG again post...

i went through this almost my entire 2nd preg. he was a surprise, bad timing to say the least! i felt like i would never bond with him and would never love him the same as my first! but the moment i saw his face, i fell in love! end of story!!!

Re: Spinoff to 5ofclubs PG again post...

I feel that way too....how can I love another as much as I love Aly Pie.

See...we already share our love with the dogs, so I guess we kind of have that experience with sharing attention and such. It's not the same, I know.....


Before you worry about sharing your love with another baby....you need to work on your relationship with Big Ry.

The whole baby thing....maybe talk to someone objective? It's normal, don't worry!! Even your regular OB or primary care dr.

Re: Spinoff to 5ofclubs PG again post...

I am in this hole with DH

it is getting better but, it is still always in the back of my head. I got PG my first month off BC and I never started it again after DS was born

I am sure he understands, he says he does, besides how can you get it on with a 10 month old and dog in between you at night

Re: Spinoff to 5ofclubs PG again post...

I was nervous to have sex again and waited 3 months after DS born and I always think what happens if it is this month how would I be able to love another child and I think you learn to embrass it. I also think you should maybe talk to someone to help you get over your fear because I don't think it is healthy for a marriage. Or like someone else suggested your DH can use a condom or pull out. Or instead of intercourse their are always other ways to be intimate and that might slowly get you into the mood, that is how I started. I also want to give you because I know it stinks to feel the way that you do.

Message edited 9/11/2006 9:18:46 AM.

Re: Spinoff to 5ofclubs PG again post...

honestly I feel alot of the same way as you, I thank God everymonth when I get my period only because I feel like it would be unfair to Bryan to have another baby, I am soo attached to him and I miss him so much when we are not together. I hate going out and leaving him, sometimes I get sad when its bedtime and I dont see him until morning. It sounds crazy but Im just so attached, I dont know how I could Love or deal with another child right now so we are waiting. I want my child to have a sibling but Im just not ready to give up my time alone with Bryan yet.

Re: Spinoff to 5ofclubs PG again post...

I can relate to alot of your feelings. I think it is normal, at least I hope so since I am obsessed with my time with DD. We are actually at a point of TTC #2, but I wonder every day how I can possibly love another baby as much as her, and feel so sad that I will have less one on one time with her, espeically since I work FT as well. But in the end, I know that everything will be ok and you cant let the fear of the unknown hold you back.

Re: Spinoff to 5ofclubs PG again post...

I really do not think you are alone in your thinking.
TMI - but when DH are about to get busy - I make him go get the condoms (I am not on BC), but I am paranoid!!!

Don't get me wrong, I would love to be pregnant again - but I want to enjoy Ali for a little while

But I think if it was to happen, your way of thinking changes. My friend had a baby last November and now she is in her 22 week of her next pregnancy. Her babies will be 14 months apart
Not planned and she also had said to be before she was pregnant - that she wanted to wait and enjoy the one she has now.

Re: Spinoff to 5ofclubs PG again post...

I've been avoiding it too out of fear of pregnancy. I guess it would be okay if I got pregnant again soon but I'm enjoying not being pregnant right now. I didn't like pregnancy much.