Spinoff to didn't have a shower...

The original post got me thinking about how I don't want a shower while pregnant. I'm not pregnant yet because I'm getting over a mmc. We will be trying again soon with an RE since this was my second miscarriage. My father's side is Jewish so I'm familiar with the no shower tradition. As my Aunt Micky would say "you shouldn't celebrate anything that you don't have yet"

So my question is those who didn't have a shower pregnant did you have something after the baby was born? I feel like I will devastate my mom if I don't have anything because it will be her first grandchild. Is it rude (seen as gift fishing) to have one after the baby is born?

Spinoff to didn't have a shower...

I have read people have done a sip and see. Where you host a small gathering at your home for people to meet the baby.

Re: Spinoff to didn't have a shower...

Re: Spinoff to didn't have a shower...

Re: Spinoff to didn't have a shower...

My family is old school italian and does not believe in showers. My mil wanted one. What we did was my mil (after clearing it with my mom) invited just my husband's aunts/uncles/cousins and my parents over when I was about 8 mos pregnant, and we had dinner and they gave me gifts. It wasn't even a sprinkle. Just a little celebration.

My family is extremely generous and my aunts and uncles bought gifts from my registry and just had them mailed to my parents' house before dc was born. The rest of the stuff my parents helped out (in lieu of throwing a shower) when I did my registry completion.

Re: Spinoff to didn't have a shower...

I'm so sorry to hear about your mmc. I'm sure seeing the RE will do the trick and you'll have a happy and healthy pregnancy next time!

I'm not having anything. We'll have a christening, but that's later on and no one gives registry gifts for that (not to mention I'll have everything way before that point!)

I think your Aunt Micky and I would get along very well


I wouldn't hedge your bets on the Jewish side of your family being ok with no shower- in my case the Catholics are fine and the Jews are up in arms!

Re: Spinoff to didn't have a shower...

I think if you don't want to do a shower, then that's fine. It's not for everyone. But if you DO still want a party/celebration after baby's born, then go for it! I would put something cute on the invitation though about it being a shower so that people know what it's all about. I really don't think it's gift-fishing or rude at all. If you did already have a shower while pregnant and then did a whole 'baby viewing' thing afterwards where gifts are expected, then yeah, I'd say that's kind of asking for too much. To me, it's along the same lines of expecting an engagement gift AS WELL as the bridal shower & wedding gifts. lmao. Just getting greedy at that point. But for you to simply choose to do the shower after baby is born rather than before is totally understandable and fun. I'd just specify what it is since that's not really common, as far as I know. I've never been to one once baby is there. I've visited friends after they give birth, but never been invited to an actual party. I'd probably be confused as to what it is - if we're all just coming in and looking at baby and leaving, or are we eating food, giving gifts, playing games? So to specify that it IS a shower would answer a lot of those questions. I think that would be fun. Although I do know that when DD was born, I really didn't like that many people around her so that's something you'd have to figure out. I remember she was about a month old when DH's grandfather died and I really did not want to bring her to the funeral. I finally did, but I cringed when people would touch her and even said no when some asked to hold her. She was just too little and who knows what kind of germs are floating around.