Spinoff to Spoiling a Newborn...added another question.

I have a question...Rylan will be 12 weeks on friday. When he cries I ALWAYS pick him up. The thing is he likes things HIS way.

He will for the most part stop crying as long as you are standing or walking with him. When you even start to lower your body to sit or even lean against something he starts screaming again...no exaggeration!!

So my question is...Is it spoiling if I give him what he wants and stand again? I always do it because I don't want him to cry but at the same time I don't want to do it anymore. I kinda think it's going to be a problem in the long run.

What would you do?

ETA: I guess my question really is it ok to just sit with him in my arms and let him cry as long as I am still trying to comfort him? I've tried this 2 or 3 times in the past 2 days...playing with toys...singing to him...stuff like that.

Message edited 6/19/2008 8:01:35 AM.

Re: Spinoff to Spoiling a Newborn...

I'd keep giving him the affection. He needs it, he is still to young to manipulate you.

Re: Spinoff to Spoiling a Newborn...

I would do whatever he wants.

Heck, my kid is 19 months and he still gets everything he wants

I see it as this: If they cry to be held, hold them. If they are perfectly fine to sit or lay there, then don't pick them up.

Re: Spinoff to Spoiling a Newborn...

I started sitting in the glider pretty early on and DS got used to it. My son is big and gets way too heavy to stand with after a few minutes. My theory was I was OK with picking him up, but not OK with standing and walking him the entire time I held him.

It is amazing how they KNOW when you are standing vs. sitting, even when they are so tiny!

Re: Spinoff to Spoiling a Newborn...

Re: Spinoff to Spoiling a Newborn...

Message edited 12/7/2009 10:38:34 AM.

Re: Spinoff to Spoiling a Newborn...

OOH poor Rylan- Do you try distracting him with a toy? I started introducing Megan to some of the bigger stuffed animals she got as gifts, even though she can't hold them yet, So While I'm holding her in one hand, I have the stuffed animal in the other and talk to her with it. She loves it... I'm just remembering that Rylan seemed to like Gymbo the clown at Gymboree, so maybe when you are standing with him, distract him with a toy and then work your way into sitting? Just a thought...

Re: Spinoff to Spoiling a Newborn...

Re: Spinoff to Spoiling a Newborn...

Sofia is 6mts and she never cries someone always runs to her..

Re: Spinoff to Spoiling a Newborn...

12 weeks is still little, id be picking him up. holding, caring him- whatever it is.
at 5 months, thats when i would start to let them cry a little, espeically if i had to get some things done.

Re: Spinoff to Spoiling a Newborn...added another question.

Bump...added a question.

Re: Spinoff to Spoiling a Newborn...added another question.

Dawn, I think what happened with us was that he fussed a bit in the beginning when I would sit holding him, but eventually he got used to it and didn't cry as much. I also sing to him a lot to calm him down. I used to put one of the music channels on cable on and sing along with the music and that helped too.

Message edited 6/19/2008 8:23:43 AM.

Re: Spinoff to Spoiling a Newborn...added another question.

Kailey has her moments too. I know what you mean about the leaning. If I just sit here she will fuss.
So, I have to lean my elbow on our dressers and bounce and move back and forth.

Re: Spinoff to Spoiling a Newborn...added another question.

DS is the same way. I have to hold him facing out and walk and bouce. Oh, and he likes to be in the kitchen facing the deck! How's that for demanding???

I find that it depends on how upset he is. If he's out of his mind, then there is no way I'm sitting, but if he's starting to calm down, then I can slowly manuver to the couch and sit and still kind of bump him up and down my leg and hum in his ear.

Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

I think as long as you are comforting him and holding him, it's okay to let him cry in your lap a little. Otherwise, there would be days I would be exhausted.

But, on a positive note, I have noticed that my arms look a little more toned from all the holding!!

Re: Spinoff to Spoiling a Newborn...added another question.

I read, at this stage, holding your baby or picking him up when he cries (not that whiny tired cry but a real cry) just teaches him to trust you and know that you are there for him. IMO, that's what a mama is for! My mom always uses the word "spoil" when I'm holding Ryan non-stop - I say, "spoiling him with what? love? not a bad thing!"

Re: Spinoff to Spoiling a Newborn...added another question.

I don't think you can spoil a baby at this age. They don't start to get the idea that they can manipulate until around 6 months, maybe older. DS is 6 months, and I'm not so sure he gets that yet.

At your baby's age, you are teaching him that he can count on comfort and support. Even if you don't stop his crying, the fact that you are trying to stop it means a lot to DC.