SPR-I have no idea what my role should be here..

As I've posted before, we have an 18 year old that lives with us.

She is in college now, but will be home in two weeks.

She called me to today and just doesn't sound right, she said she "forgot" to file for housing at school next year and doesn't know what to do or if she should do anything about it

I had a pow wow with her sister (my friend) today on Skype and between the both of us, we are really concerned about her. She just seems so lost and doesn't know what decisions to make with her life.

Her parents are gone, not a part of her life. Her sister is in Italy and trusts me with her day to day affairs (I handle her banking, the management of her money, etc) and I know she is coming home in about two weeks, but I am struggling as to my role here...

TIA

Re: SPR-I have no idea what my role should be here..

That is a tough one!!
I think she's looking to you for guidance.....and I think her sister is relying on you to give it to her also!
I'd say talk to her when she gets there.....and see what she's looking for. But she needs someone!

Re: SPR-I have no idea what my role should be here..

I agree with the pp that she is looking for guidance and her sister is abdicating her authority to you too. How are her grades? Is she failing out? A statement like I forgot to get housing to me is a sign of a larger problem. What year is she in school? Does she know what she wants to do after she graduates? She sounds like she is floundering.

Re: SPR-I have no idea what my role should be here..

I agree with the PPs. It seems like she needs some help, and you're really the only person she has.

Re: SPR-I have no idea what my role should be here..

Does it sound like she may be failing out? Maybe she is just feeling insecure about the "what ifs" and just needs you to say that she has a place to stay if she is not in school. She could even feel insecure about where she will go when she graduates.

Re: SPR-I have no idea what my role should be here..

I don't know if she is failing out, she is a freshman now. I kind of think this school was a bad choice for her to begin with (but again, she had no guidance when picking schools)

Knowing her, I think grade wise, she is doing ok, but she is feeling "lost". She has also been really sick for about a month, pneumonia, etc, etc.

Its hard, it is a fine line that we are living on here..

Re: SPR-I have no idea what my role should be here..

It sounds like she needs a friend and mentor that will give her some guideance.

Re: SPR-I have no idea what my role should be here..

I would just try to guide her. Try to find a solution about the whole housing thing and walk her thru it.

As far is grades, maybe just talk to her about it and offer her some options on how to improve the situation (if they need improving). Just tell her that you want to be there for her.

Re: SPR-I have no idea what my role should be here..

Kate - does she have any extended family at all? Aunts? Uncles? Cousins?

Re: SPR-I have no idea what my role should be here..

Re: SPR-I have no idea what my role should be here..

Re: SPR-I have no idea what my role should be here..

Sounds like she needs someone to talk to. Maybe you can set up a skype session with the three of you and all of you can discuss what are her plans for next year and see if maybe there are better options.

Re: SPR-I have no idea what my role should be here..

I would bet the best thing you could do for her is to get her connected with the school's counseling department.

Good luck, sounds like she really needs you

Re: SPR-I have no idea what my role should be here..

Honestly, if it were me in your shoes, I would either sit her down, or maybe take her out to lunch or something and just talk to her- ask her if everything is ok...tell her are worried, etc.

Re: SPR-I have no idea what my role should be here..

she's really lucky to have you... I would take her out to lunch at have nice talk with her about how things are going. I think it will be helpful to just have some listen and someone to give her some guidance.

I would suggest having her seek out someone in the counseling center for when she goes back to school.

the comment about forgetting about housing leads me to think that she is unsure about returning next year (I could be totally wrong though).