Staying true to your parenting methods..did you ever think it would be so hard?

For some reason I never thought about this before I had a child. I never realized that I would face such obstacles and have the hardest time in my life staying true to parenting methods, big and small. Its not that people sway what I believe in or how I raise Megan, it's the fact that everyone has something to say and thinks that you should go with it. In my case, its not even family. My family is VERY good about letting me parent and supporting my decisions. But people in the outside world literally make me sick sometimes.

Like tonight..I was outside with Megan. We live in Queens..houses all on top of each other, driveways every 2 steps, no yards with grass, well in my area anyway. So she likes to see the dog next door. Granted, its a small dog that they leave in the driveway behind the gate sometimes but still...I NEVER let her get too close. Never let her put her hands in the fence to touch him because you just never know. Well one of the neighbors made fun of me..telling me I worry too much, just let her be. Umm no I wont let her be..shes MY CHILD!

Then..she tried to go around the other side of the fence which is another neigbors driveway. I told her to come out and yet another neighbor tells me to let her be that they wont mind if she goes around that way. Umm no..what happens if they pull their huge suv in without looking..what respect is she learning not to go on other peoples private property..again..shes MY CHILD!

Then I come inside to cook and leave her outside with my husband. I look outside to check on her, and shes inside the neighbors house running around. Now, in some cases thats fine..but these are people I dont know very well..she didnt invite us in for a play date or anything. Her little boy went in the house and my husband just let her follow him right in. THe mother was on the steps and the 2 kids were alone in the house..not ok to me! And when I tell my husband this..he says oh relax..but for this one I cant say..shes MY CHILD..because she is both of ours.

I just feel like I am always being questioned and people act like basic manners and respect is not letting a child "be." I am so strong headed about teaching her rules and restrictions. Yes she has fun..yes she plays and is a normal child..but to me, being a normal child doesnt include being in dangerous situations..but more often than not, I am looked at as being ridiculous or over protective and it just annoys me!!

To make life easier, sometimes I just wanna say, you're right..so I dont have the confrontation with people..but then I think about it and it always comes back..SHES MY CHILD!!!!! I just never thought that being true to the mother that I am trying to be would be questioned so much or that I would find it so hard to deal with others.

Wondering if anyone else feels the same?

Re: Staying true to your parenting methods..did you ever think it would be so hard?

Sometimes I do but I just try and let it go. I can't let it get to me because it will eat me up inside if I do.
I think it is easy for people to say things about what your are doing but, you know your child best and if you give in then YOU are the one that has to deal with the consequences and no one else.

I would have said and done the same thing as you in those situations.

Re: Staying true to your parenting methods..did you ever think it would be so hard?

Hey Noreen, honestly, I'm starting to believe the general population's intelligence level is sinking as fast as the economy. Don't back down or feel intimidated by strangers, you are doing the RIGHT thing by your daughter regarding the dog. We are in the same neighborhood as you; I have 2 dogs (large, about 60lbs full grown) and I have been HORRIFIED by what parents will let their little kids do - sticking their hands through the gate to pet them, even picking up their kids and "dangling" them over our gate to see/touch the dogs, I mean WHO DOES THAT!!!!!!!! Our dogs are mushes but what are you teaching your kid, that all dogs are friendly and you can just walk up and touch them at will???? We put a mesh liner on our gate to stop people from sticking their hands in, that's worked well so far, but people still do really moronic things out there.

And well, regarding the hubby... you were right there too, 2 tots in a house unsupervised is a recipe for disaster, IMHO, so you're not wrong there either!

I'm sorry it got to you yesterday but you suffer from COMMON SENSE and there will be days where that makes you a little "odd"

Re: Staying true to your parenting methods..did you ever think it would be so hard?

Posted by colette

Hey Noreen, honestly, I'm starting to believe the general population's intelligence level is sinking as fast as the economy. Don't back down or feel intimidated by strangers, you are doing the RIGHT thing by your daughter regarding the dog. We are in the same neighborhood as you; I have 2 dogs (large, about 60lbs full grown) and I have been HORRIFIED by what parents will let their little kids do - sticking their hands through the gate to pet them, even picking up their kids and "dangling" them over our gate to see/touch the dogs, I mean WHO DOES THAT!!!!!!!! Our dogs are mushes but what are you teaching your kid, that all dogs are friendly and you can just walk up and touch them at will???? We put a mesh liner on our gate to stop people from sticking their hands in, that's worked well so far, but people still do really moronic things out there.

And well, regarding the hubby... you were right there too, 2 tots in a house unsupervised is a recipe for disaster, IMHO, so you're not wrong there either!

I'm sorry it got to you yesterday but you suffer from COMMON SENSE and there will be days where that makes you a little "odd"