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hbugal
Lesigh
Member since 2/07 15928 total posts
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Stepparents, Divorced Parents..visitation issue.
Has anyone changed an order of visitation years after the fact????
My DD are 9 years old and the current order of visitation is starting not to work for them...for them not me...They go to their fathers almost every weekend and want to do every other b/c of friends and stuff. Im hoping that within another year or two we can do this unofficially and not have to go through the courts but I might have to.....Im not looking to change things now. Im hoping that as they get older Daddy will grow to understand....Im just looking to get my ducks in a row at this point.
Anyone know what the court protocol is??? Would the judge aske the kids what they want????
Message edited 3/3/2008 10:22:36 AM.
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Posted 3/3/08 9:37 AM  |
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Mommy2Boys
My Boys!!!!
Member since 6/06 14437 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: Stepparents, Divorced Parents..visitation issue.
It would be easier if you can set it up outside of court with their father...if he is giving up every other weekend, maybe you can arrange something different like on the off weekend, they go to his house for dinner on Friday night.
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| Posted 3/3/08 9:58 AM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Stepparents, Divorced Parents..visitation issue.
Do you have a decent relationship with their father? Because I would think the best thing would be to talk to him directly. I don't know where he lives in proximity to you, but maybe explain that the girls still want to do their activities and see their friends even when they're with him. Maybe they don't have to lose weekends with their dad if he's willing to be flexible.
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| Posted 3/3/08 10:14 AM |
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Sassyz75
Turning a new page
Member since 5/05 9731 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Stepparents, Divorced Parents..visitation issue.
Posted by hbugal
Has anyone changed an order of visitation years after the fact????
My DD are 9 years old and the current order of visitation is starting not to work for them...for them not me...They go to their fathers almost every weekend and want to do every other b/c of friends and stuff. Im hoping that within another year we can do this unofficially and not have to go through the courts but I might have to.....
Anyone know what the court protocol is??? Would the judge aske the kids what they want????
I've been through this personally. I was a little older when I wanted to reduce my visitation b/c I wanted to hang with my friends- young teenager like 12, 13 and 14. Instead of going over Friday night, I would go over Saturday night.
I think 9 is a little old- I think time with parent maybe is more valuable then friend time- but every situation is different...
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| Posted 3/3/08 10:16 AM |
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hbugal
Lesigh
Member since 2/07 15928 total posts
Name:
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Re: Stepparents, Divorced Parents..visitation issue.
Posted by nferrandi
Do you have a decent relationship with their father? Because I would think the best thing would be to talk to him directly. I don't know where he lives in proximity to you, but maybe explain that the girls still want to do their activities and see their friends even when they're with him. Maybe they don't have to lose weekends with their dad if he's willing to be flexible.
Basically we have a decent relationship. Im hoping that things will work themselves out....We have spoken about this and he is being less than cooperative. He lays the guilt trip on the girls big time about it....Honestly he is going to have to accomadate them to some degree or they are going to grow to resent him as they get older ( I see it already) I dont want this to happen b/c he loves them and is a good father..he can just be very stubborn at times and doesnt see the BIG PICTURE.
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| Posted 3/3/08 10:19 AM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: Stepparents, Divorced Parents..visitation issue.
Posted by hbugal
Has anyone changed an order of visitation years after the fact????
My DD are 9 years old and the current order of visitation is starting not to work for them...for them not me...They go to their fathers almost every weekend and want to do every other b/c of friends and stuff. Im hoping that within another year we can do this unofficially and not have to go through the courts but I might have to.....
Anyone know what the court protocol is??? Would the judge aske the kids what they want????
IMO, it's not a good idea to do it without the courts. an official court document is ALWAYS your best bet, even if your ex agrees with you and is willing to change the current order.
the judge may choose to listen to your daughters, they are definitely old enough to give an opinion, but it might not hold a lot of weight. it's hard to say - it depends on how much your ex is willing to change.
FM me if you have any specific questions - i can give better, less vague advice that way.
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| Posted 3/3/08 10:19 AM |
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EmmaNick
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Member since 12/06 16001 total posts
Name:
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Re: Stepparents, Divorced Parents..visitation issue.
Maybe you could get it changed to "liberal visitation" so there isn't a set day/time. That's what I have and it works out fine. If he doesn't agree then like you said, your daughters will just end up resenting him, and I'm sure that's not what he's aiming for 
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| Posted 3/3/08 7:45 PM |
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hbugal
Lesigh
Member since 2/07 15928 total posts
Name:
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Re: Stepparents, Divorced Parents..visitation issue.
Posted by Summerrluvv
Maybe you could get it changed to "liberal visitation" so there isn't a set day/time. That's what I have and it works out fine. If he doesn't agree then like you said, your daughters will just end up resenting him, and I'm sure that's not what he's aiming for
That might be something to aim for. Im not trying to limit him seeing them in any way...THEY just want to change it up a bit...
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| Posted 3/3/08 7:53 PM |
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DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!
Member since 1/07 9534 total posts
Name:
The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)
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Re: Stepparents, Divorced Parents..visitation issue.
Talk to me about the legalities on Wednesday.
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| Posted 3/4/08 12:18 AM |
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JKinCT
Gonna be a big sister!
Member since 11/07 1559 total posts
Name:
Korin
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Re: Stepparents, Divorced Parents..visitation issue.
I am not saying that this was the way to go about it, but when I was younger we had the same problem. My sister, brother and I went to my Dad's house every weekend. At a certain age (I was the oldest) I didn't want to go to my Dad's every weekend. In the beginning they didn't let me not go, they forced me to go. This didn't help, I sulked all weekend and was mean to my step-mom. Finally it turned into an every other weekend thing. My Dad wasn't happy because obviously he missed us but it worked out. There were never any legal actions taken, it was just sort of an agreement between everyone.
So, like I said, I am not suggesting this is the way to do things but it worked for us.
I am sure everything will work out for you and your family too. Good luck!
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| Posted 3/4/08 9:08 AM |
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Selden78
I lvoe the fall :)
Member since 6/06 3543 total posts
Name:
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Re: Stepparents, Divorced Parents..visitation issue.
I agree with a few of the girls try and agree out side of the court...in My experience NO they will not ask the girls what they want.. They didn't even talk with my daughter when she started to see her biological father ( he came out of the blue after 4 years of NO contact with her what so ever) And the court favored his side 100% they didn't even ask her what her thoughts were. Our lawyer even requested that the judge meet with her in his chambers to see her side (because the law guardiands did NOT do there job) AND the judge said NO.
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| Posted 3/4/08 9:14 AM |
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